My thoughts as a transgender woman in the usa

[Banshe]

I'm scared. I'm scared of not being able to find a job. im scared of not being able to afford housing even with a job. I'm scared of being arrested for being homeless or using the wrong toilet. I'm scared of the government not recognizing my gender when they arrest and process me. I'm scared of the man who yelled at me and kicked me out of a lyft ride for being trans. I'm scared of every man who ever shows even the slightest interest in me. I'm terrified of them finding out I'm trans and being transphobic enough to let it turn into violence. I'm terrified that I am going to end up being beaten and or raped repeatedly in a mens prison. I'm equally terrified of being in isolation all the time. I'm scared of having my labor sold to companies for profit while seeing nothing from it. I'm terrified by the murder of Alex franco and so many other trans people.

I'm scared. But there are fates worse than death.

I know im not alone. I know I could reach out and live. I know that I might find some value in continuing on.

I'm scared that I won't kill myself. I'm scared that if im wrong about the future being better, I will have lost my escape. I'm scared of the people who message me on every social media, telling me to kill myself. Just because I'm trans. I'm scared of how prevelant that belief really is in society.

I guess thats it for me then. Sorry I couldn't be stronger or provide more to the fight. Sorry for everything. Sorry for existing.

 

[Ash]

I'm sorry you're in this situation. But as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I absolutely refuse to accept your apology as you have absolutely nothing to apologise for.

 

[Banshe]

I dont want to say when. Although I'm thinking soon.

 

[LittleCupcake]

I feel the same, in the UK the system is totally fucked while I wont be homeless anthime soon I do fear the future, I've been refused interviews and if I get a job its most likely going to be full of transphobes, the world is a cruel place and tbh I wouldnt be suprised if half the community is on here.

Atm im fighting my GP and in the proceses of switching, its just too much.

 

[amra81nz]

I'm not Trans myself but I can see how it's tough. The world is coming into a phase of change in regards to transgender people. While I believe that one day you will be seen the same as anyone else we are still in the very early stages of adapting society change. I genuinely hope you can find the strength to be you and not feel any internal negatively for being you. As for being afraid of others I guess do everything in your power to ensure your own safety. Don't meet people for dates until they know your history, stuff like that. The prison one is a but tougher tho and I think everyone gets scared of being raped in there. But know that there are some people who accept you for who you are and not everyone are transphobe even tho it may feel like it

 

[Banshe]

I'm not Trans myself but I can see how it's tough. The world is coming into a phase of change in regards to transgender people. While I believe that one day you will be seen the same as anyone else we are still in the very early stages of adapting society change. I genuinely hope you can find the strength to be you and not feel any internal negatively for being you. As for being afraid of others I guess do everything in your power to ensure your own safety. Don't meet people for dates until they know your history, stuff like that. The prison one is a but tougher tho and I think everyone gets scared of being raped in there. But know that there are some people who accept you for who you are and not everyone are transphobe even tho it may feel like it

Its not about meeting people for dates. Its about guys who approach me in public. Just FYI. Thank you so much for your kind words.

 

[amra81nz]

I hope I helped even if justba little. Sorry I misunderstood what you meant. Maybe carry a gun instead if that's an option and shoot the motherfuckers if they get violent

 

[LittleCupcake]

The world is coming into a phase of change in regards to transgender people. While I believe that one day you will be seen the same as anyone else

I really doubt it, if anything its getting worse.

 

[amra81nz]

I really doubt it, if anything its getting worse.

Yea but that's because bad people are manipulation the whole thing for political and personal reasons. I believe it will change I just don't know when

 

[LittleCupcake]

Yea but that's because bad people are manipulation the whole thing for political and personal reasons. I believe it will change I just don't know when

Thats going to be when the govement stops pandering to transphobes, if they ever do

 

[amra81nz]

Thats going to be when the govement stops pandering to transphobes, if they ever do

I can only speak about my own country but over here they try to please both sides while making no real effect on anything.

 

[LittleCupcake]

I can only speak about my own country but over here they try to please both sides while making no real effect on anything.

You cant please both sides, ik most places are trying and thats the problem, it should be about what the majority of the population wants instead of focusing on people with bigoted views. If they actually put it to a vote they would see hardly anyone gives a shit but they just assume most people are transphobic, With the govement thinking like that we're never going to be equal.

 

[amra81nz]

You cant please both sides, ik most places are trying and thats the problem, it should be about what the majority of the population wants instead of focusing on people with bigoted views. If they actually put it to a vote they would see hardly anyone gives a shit but they just assume most people are transphobic, With the govement thinking like that we're never going to be equal.

There are valid points on all sides. What needs to happen is meeting in the middle and making laws that address the concerns of both sides. From what I see tho is people just demand they want it a certain way and refuse to hear out the other side and the anger continues. To expect change you have to be willing to compromise as well otherwise your acting in bad faith

 

[LittleCupcake]

There are valid points on all sides. What needs to happen is meeting in the middle and making laws that address the concerns of both sides. From what I see tho is people just demand they want it a certain way and refuse to hear out the other side and the anger continues. To expect change you have to be willing to compromise as well otherwise your acting in bad faith

They're really not its just misogyny and misinformation, there is no plausible argument against trans people. If there is I would mind talking about it.

 

[Linda]

I would suggest that you wait until November before making a decision. If Biden wins, and especially if he wins by a large margin, that will take some of the heat off trans people.

The right wing will only use trans people as a scapegoat so long as they are getting something out of it. When ordinary people realise they are being conned, the right wing will have to find another bogeyman. Twenty years ago the bogeyman was gay marriage. Then ordinary people realised that gay marriage was just not a concern (unless they were gay themselves, in which case it was a good thing). So it stopped being a scare tactic that the GOP could exploit. I knew, a decade ago, that when gay marriage became legal in the US, the right wing would move on to attacking trans people, and I said so. I know now that the anti-trans hysteria won't last forever.

If Trump wins, things could get bad. We could see a repeat of Germany in the 1930s and 40s, with concentration camps and even mass murder, for groups that those in power do not like. However, Trump has not yet won, and I think the ods are (slightly) against him winning.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

I deeply empathize with you.

Unfortunately, the situation that you describe is more widespread than just in the USA. I have been to several parts of the world (work, study, travel), and the attitude towards transgender people has not been good anywhere.

~~~

Slightly unrelated, I believe if you can find the right people in your life, your location won't matter much—whether it's your country, workplace, social media, forums, etc. It feels somewhat hypocritical of me to offer advice on this, given that I am CTBing soon, but idk...

 

[amra81nz]

They're really not its just misogyny and misinformation, there is no plausible argument against trans people. If there is I would mind talking about it.

Well I'm hardly an expert but I can give my takes on what I see.
One thing seems to be like you mentioned misinformation. I don't think it's intentional but more that there is no agreed upon concepts that need to be decided. An example would be the argument over whether a Trans woman is a real woman the same as a biological woman. That is something that if agreed upon could help lead to laws regarding Trans accessing bathrooms etc. At the moment there is confusion because both sides are treating it from different points of view. I'm probably not describing it very well

 

[Linda]

Its not about meeting people for dates. Its about guys who approach me in public. Just FYI. Thank you so much for your kind words.

"Its about guys who approach me in public.." That could mean one of two things, and I'm not sure which you are trying to say. (1) You don't pass, and are experiencing hostility as a result, or (2) You pass very well and men are hitting on you. If the former, then you could probably do a lot to help yourself. If the latter, it should be easy to handle, at least with practice.

 

[amra81nz]

I would suggest that you wait until November before making a decision. If Biden wins, and especially if he wins by a large margin, that will take some of the heat off trans people.

The right wing will only use trans people as a scapegoat so long as they are getting something out of it. When ordinary people realise they are being conned, the right wing will have to find another bogeyman. Twenty years ago the bogeymay was gay marriage. Then ordinary people realised that gay marriage was just not a concern (unless they were gay themselves, in which case it was a good thing). So it stopped being a scare tactic that the GOP could exploit. I knew, a decade ago, that when gay marriage became legal in the US, the right wing would move on to attacking trans people, and I said so. I know now that the anti-trans hysteria won't last forever.

If Trump wins, things could get bad. We could see a repeat of Germany in the 1930s and 40s, with concentration camps and even mass murder, for groups that those in power do not like. However, Trump has not yet won, and I think the ods are (slightly) against him winning.

Trump is ahead in every poll. Biden has no policies he's campaigning on. How do you think Biden is ahead? Trans stuff aside Biden can barely function from a cognitive stand. Plus his policies wrecked not just your economy in the USA but it's had roll on effects to other countries economy such as where I live

 

[Linda]

Trump is ahead in every poll. Biden has no policies he's campaigning on. How do you think Biden is ahead? Trans stuff aside Biden can barely function from a cognitive stand. Plus his policies wrecked not just your economy in the USA but it's had roll on effects to other countries economy such as where I live

Nobody knows for sure what will happen in November. It's best to wait and see.

 

[amra81nz]

Nobody knows for sure what will happen in November. It's best to wait and see.

True. Based on news we get over here basically looks like only way Trump will lose is if they keep up the corrupt legal attacks and he gets removed from ballet

 

[Banshe]

1: imho fuck Biden and fuck Trump.

2: regardless of Biden being president the last 4 years im less safe noe.

3: why are you discussing it here. I didn't mention the president AT ALL

 

[LittleCupcake]

Well I'm hardly an expert but I can give my takes on what I see.
One thing seems to be like you mentioned misinformation. I don't think it's intentional but more that there is no agreed upon concepts that need to be decided. An example would be the argument over whether a Trans woman is a real woman the same as a biological woman. That is something that if agreed upon could help lead to laws regarding Trans accessing bathrooms etc. At the moment there is confusion because both sides are treating it from different points of view. I'm probably not describing it very well

I dont mind continuing this converstaion in the DMs if you want to know the depths of it.

The bathroom problem is just not a problem at all. Its just transphobia, essentially they're calling trans women men and coz of that they must prose a threat to women (aka misandry), btw the same argument was applied to lesbians in the gay bashing era.

The whole what is a women argument is heavly flawed as it doesnt include all cis women, so there for that definition doesnt work, its based on beauty standards and means of making babies, so with this logic women that have had a hysterectomy is actually a man. It will hurt trans and cis women and actually has done. No one is saying a trans woman is biologically the same as a cis woman but that doesnt mean we deserve to be discriminated against.

The misinformation is intentional as its just hate surrounded by fake studies or studies that are misrepresented to prove made up statistics, this can be seen with the whole "transitioning doesnt help" claim.

 

[Banshe]

Well I'm hardly an expert but I can give my takes on what I see.
One thing seems to be like you mentioned misinformation. I don't think it's intentional but more that there is no agreed upon concepts that need to be decided. An example would be the argument over whether a Trans woman is a real woman the same as a biological woman. That is something that if agreed upon could help lead to laws regarding Trans accessing bathrooms etc. At the moment there is confusion because both sides are treating it from different points of view. I'm probably not describing it very well

Kindly dont have this convo here at all. Im about to kill myself and youre still fucking arguing about my fucking existence. Fuck off
A thread i made saying how scared I am, taken over by people arguing the need to debate my very existence. Thanks fucks.

 

[_Broken_alice]

We're so sorry. People can be awful. There are better places in the US, where trans people are accepted as we should be. It should be the entire nation and world, but unfortunately is not. People are scared of what they do not understand, and we have become an unwilling political focus. It really is so awful we aren't just allowed to exist as we should be. It is so wrong we have to fear so many things so much more than cis-women have to.
We really hope you can find a way forward. We know it isn't easy, but all those awful people don't deserve to win. Perhaps look into work from home jobs. Or working for target in a nicer more accepting area.
You do not need to debate your right to exist to anyone. Instead, they should be debating their own.

We really wish you weren't pushed to the point you are... To the point the world will be losing yet another wonderful person who very much deserves her time to shine... We really wish we had better words to say, but getting our thoughts out is difficult.

 

[Banshe]

We're so sorry. People can be awful. There are better places in the US, where trans people are accepted as we should be. It should be the entire nation and world, but unfortunately is not. People are scared of what they do not understand, and we have become an unwilling political focus. It really is so awful we aren't just allowed to exist as we should be. It is so wrong we have to fear so many things so much more than cis-women have to.
We really hope you can find a way forward. We know it isn't easy, but all those awful people don't deserve to win. Perhaps look into work from home jobs. Or working for target in a nicer more accepting area.
You do not need to debate your right to exist to anyone. Instead, they should be debating their own.

We really wish you weren't pushed to the point you are... To the point the world will be losing yet another wonderful person who very much deserves her time to shine... We really wish we had better words to say, but getting our thoughts out is difficult.

Thank you

 

[_Broken_alice]

Thank you

We promise not everywhere is so awful...
Even in the southeast US, there are some havens. Atlanta for instance has a thriving LGBT+ community. That's where we are trying to get to... To finally be among kind and caring people who will accept us as is.

 

[Banshe]

We promise not everywhere is so awful...
Even in the southeast US, there are some havens. Atlanta for instance has a thriving LGBT+ community. That's where we are trying to get to... To finally be among kind and caring people who will accept us as is.

In utah there is salt lake city but its too expensive.

 

[_Broken_alice]

In utah there is salt lake city but its too expensive.

We think it's very much worth trying to get somewhere else. Atlanta for instance has affordable housing and wages are higher there. Even doing warehouse type work, you could start off making $15/hr+. There is also remote work that pays as well with no real requirements other than being able to handle customer questions and complaints. Even if you had to drop everything, it seems there isn't much to lose at this point.. You very much deserve to live a happy fulfilled life and it very much seems you cannot do so where ever you are at now. We would hate to see another light gone from this world because you are somewhere you aren't being allowed to shine as you should.