Venting My therapist says I romanticize my suicide

[whybother2002]

That I see my death in a very romantic way, just like how it's considerate tragic but beautiful when poets die before reaching their 30s. I don't disagree with him, but I don't see why this is a problem. Is it wrong to want an honorable end instead of decades of tortuous living? I'm at a point where I don't see how my life can improve — only a true miracle —, so yes, being able to end my suffering and choosing to die instead of a painful existence is, actually, very beautiful. I just wish I could proceed with my plans.

 

[fireproofvodka]

I wanna preface this with - I don't disagree with you at all. I don't want to seem like I'm going on the offence. However, usually, I feel like people derive beauty from a life lived, if you will. Like, I hear a lot about the beauty of aging and how smile lines and wrinkles and such are proof of having a life well lived. That there though, I think is where the romanticisation of death / CTB conflicts with the romanticisation of experiencing a long life. And of course, a lot of people suffer in both their existence and their deaths. Neither of you are inherently wrong of course, but just what I think your therapist might be coming from with this.

 

[Hystearical]

It can be a problem if romanticization keeps you from thinking of suicide rationally or from a sober perspective or if it blinds you to the reality of the consequences of what you are doing.

Suicide will cause your obliteration.

Suicide will bring profound grief to everyone who loves you.

As long as these facts aren't ignored, you can think about it as you wish. And your therapist should work with your conception of suicide as the framework.