My therapist ditched me.

[brokensea]

I was going to therapy virtually because it's hard to leave the house on a lot of days cause I'm so depressed. My therapist said I can trust him and he will support me and be here for me and he tells me this after I tell him I'm suicidal. Then today he tells me I need in person therapy or to go to an outpatient clinic because I am so depressed and suicidal and he can't see me anymore because I ethically I have to go to in person therapy.

I told him I can't leave my house for days at a time so I'm not going to see anyone in person and I'm not going to lose my job and go to a clinic where I'm kept for who knows how long so basically I will have no one to talk to anymore about how I feel and what do you think is going to happen in this case?

I just feel lied to, devastated, betrayed. I trusted this person to share how I felt and his response is to send me somewhere else and not do therapy with me anymore. I hadn't even tried to get help in so long and feel like he just sealed the deal on CTB for me. Alone with my thoughts and feeling this way with not a friend in the world.

He was texting me every day and says I can talk to him about anything and I do and it's peace out. I get he has to do that but so many depressed people can't leave the house but then they can't get virtual therapy or go to inpatient care either I guess they want us just to die.

I just can't stop crying and I am absolutely devestated that he was providing such constant support and I thought someone cared and they said they'd be here and it was just another lie.

 

[Rounded Agony]

Sorry to read this. Unlike what many of us are told, "doing therapy" is not some kind of one-size-fits-all guaranteed solution, or even path to help. "Therapists" are human beings, who have different training/background/skill sets/ experience/etc. Someone can even be totally great but not work with you for whatever reason. It sounds like you were a bit dependant on this relationship as you're lacking other support so that would make it extra difficult.

I was seeing someone virtually (not my preference) in the winter who was a student due to their affordable rates, and I could tell she was not ready to deal with the complex things I'm dealing with. It was a very bandaid approach, lots of "feel better in the moment" type stuff to help get through the worst episodes, but those things just don't add up for me because my issues are quite fundamental. Trying to give some backstory without hijacking this to say that unfortunately, it often takes some shopping around (what a fitting expression...) to find someone who is really a good match for you.

It honestly seems very weird someone would say that you "ethically" need to go to therapy in person, for many reasons. It seems seriously unprofessional as I know a lot of services aren't even doing in person due to covid, among other things. I hope you can find another practitioner who will properly support you.

 

[woe-boy]

Therapists are hired hands. Do not think poorly of yourself in this matter. They're just as much human as you or me.

You can try more therapists, but honestly, you will run into more of this. They are not friends. They are not enemies. They're just someone you're paying to be your friend.

Make real connections, whether digital or in person. Friends are the true therapists in this world. Go on dates, find love. These things are the keys to freedom and destiny. Those very two things have been taken away from me, so please if you have access to them, you can run with your dreams and live. There's no better feeling than the wheels underneath you or the wings beside you. I hope you'll find peace.

In my own situation? I will never find peace. There is no peace, but there very well could be light in the midst of your darkness. My love came to me in my darkest hours, he was the light in the darkest tunnel I ever went through. Then he disappeared. I am now in eternal darkness.

 

[brokensea]

Sorry to read this. Unlike what many of us are told, "doing therapy" is not some kind of one-size-fits-all guaranteed solution, or even path to help. "Therapists" are human beings, who have different training/background/skill sets/ experience/etc. Someone can even be totally great but not work with you for whatever reason. It sounds like you were a bit dependant on this relationship as you're lacking other support so that would make it extra difficult.

I was seeing someone virtually (not my preference) in the winter who was a student due to their affordable rates, and I could tell she was not ready to deal with the complex things I'm dealing with. It was a very bandaid approach, lots of "feel better in the moment" type stuff to help get through the worst episodes, but those things just don't add up for me because my issues are quite fundamental. Trying to give some backstory without hijacking this to say that unfortunately, it often takes some shopping around (what a fitting expression...) to find someone who is really a good match for you.

It honestly seems very weird someone would say that you "ethically" need to go to therapy in person, for many reasons. It seems seriously unprofessional as I know a lot of services aren't even doing in person due to covid, among other things. I hope you can find another practitioner who will properly support you.

Thanks. He said if I'm this suicidal he could lose his license by continuing to treat me virtually because it isn't best practice and I have to see someone in person. I said what is the difference and he said they can monitor you more. I have a good webcam he can see me it just feels so stupid. He even said it was against the law and I don't see how that's true.

I said I just want someone to be here for me and be reliable and not ditch me for other relationships or friends. If I move away to have a friend come visit me because none of my friends did. To have someone in your life that they're just not going to be gone one day. In this session he says my thinking is disordered and I'm dependent and want someone to take care of me and I said this is what I do for people I care about and there's nothing wrong with wanting that it's human especially when so many people have let you down and this was really bothering me already he was saying my thinking was distorted and not based in reality by these things and he said when I have some sense of self then relationships enhance your life but aren't vital that I shouldn't need anybody. I feel like everyone should be more loving and giving and kind and support people. Why is everyone so fucking depressed if this self absorbed outlook that I don't need anyone or need to do anything for them is so great. Everyone needs support and love and kindness. Everyone wants someone stable in their lives. So what. He was really frustrating me and saying this in our last session together we just had again about my disordered thinking. So maybe he sucks idk. I'm so sad and pissed off. If he wasn't going to support me then don't say you're going to after I tell you I'm suicidal then you provide tons of support and even text me every day then just drop a bomb on me like this. No one in my life knows I'm this depressed or suicidal and I finally tell someone and I feel completely rejected

Therapists are hired hands. Do not think poorly of yourself in this matter. They're just as much human as you or me.

You can try more therapists, but honestly, you will run into more of this. They are not friends. They are not enemies. They're just someone you're paying to be your friend.

Make real connections, whether digital or in person. Friends are the true therapists in this world. Go on dates, find love. These things are the keys to freedom and destiny. Those very two things have been taken away from me, so please if you have access to them, you can run with your dreams and live. There's no better feeling than the wheels underneath you or the wings beside you. I hope you'll find peace.

In my own situation? I will never find peace. There is no peace, but there very well could be light in the midst of your darkness. My love came to me in my darkest hours, he was the light in the darkest tunnel I ever went through. Then he disappeared. I am now in eternal darkness.

Yeah I just had a horrible break up with this mentally abusive person that ruined my last chance to have a child and caused me to have a miscarriage and this left me feeling even more suicidal and my therapist was helping me not talk to my ex and separate from him and deal with these emotions then he ditches me too. I just feel like I hate people. This place is the only place that understands this kind of grief or any way that I'm feeling.

 

[Jrmull1993]

I'm sorry your going through this. This is not your fault.

Unfortunately the world we live in is a place where talking about ending one's own life cannot really be talked about without the risk of inpatient imprisonment.

 

[Lullaby]

It honestly seems very weird someone would say that you "ethically" need to go to therapy in person, for many reasons. It seems seriously unprofessional as I know a lot of services aren't even doing in person due to covid, among other things. I hope you can find another practitioner who will properly support you.

Yeah, it's total BS. I've been seeing my new therapist since January, and she's the best one I've ever had and it's all been through Zoom.

I'm sorry, OP. Therapy is such a hard thing to navigate and so many of them aren't good at what they do. On top of that, it takes a while to find someone you can genuinely mesh with. It can be a tiring process.

 

[want2dienow]

I would too

 

[brokensea]

I'm sorry your going through this. This is not your fault.

Unfortunately the world we live in is a place where talking about ending one's own life cannot really be talked about without the risk of inpatient imprisonment.

I know it's so true it's like oh you're suicidal you need to be locked up. If you had any agency over your own life or your life was seen as a choice someone could help talk you through everything and actually help. The immediate reaction is I need to control you from yourself and I'm just so freaked out I can't handle it and we need to imprison you.

 

[want2dienow]

I know it's so true it's like oh you're suicidal you need to be locked up. If you had any agency over your own life or your life was seen as a choice someone could help talk you through everything and actually help. The immediate reaction is I need to control you from yourself and I'm just so freaked out I can't handle it and we need to imprison you.

What is there to talk about anyways? Death doesn't wait for a conversation. Slaughter, wanton.

 

[CandyCane]

That's rough. It sounds like it's his stuff, not yours. But he's probably also worried about you. I think it's great you're trying to work your stuff out. I'm certain there is a therapist out there that would work with you from your home.

 

[brokensea]

That's rough. It sounds like it's his stuff, not yours. But he's probably also worried about you. I think it's great you're trying to work your stuff out. I'm certain there is a therapist out there that would work with you from your home.

Yeah I looked up to see if there was any such thing and there's an entire article on talkspace how beneficial online therapy is for suicidal people and how you can get even more help than in person therapy. I'm like wow are they all going to lose their licenses over at talkspace for helping suicidal people online or is this guy completely full of shit. I'm so mad. I think he just can't handle someone who is depressed and suicidal so took this crappy approach. Which is humiliating and rejecting to someone who confided in you. He said he'd hoped I'd be better by now and it hasn't even been that long, sorry I can't get better on your timeline.

 

[Jrmull1993]

He said he'd hoped I'd be better by now...

"Better" is such a subjective term.... Not an appropriate way to determine if therapy is helping....

Someone can still be suicidal or have suicidal thoughts and be better.

 

[Mia Wallace]

I'm so sorry OP…reading your words went right through my veins. it's so unfortunate they steer you one way and then you're on to the next. Please try not to take personal. It's their protocol. I think many of these workers definitely care and want you under watch with someone who could make a better impact on you and in times like these, it's to be in the care of a person who can watch you physically. Its out of care for the most part why they directed you that way. I'm so sorry you're struggling this way though. You're not alone and you are understood. <3

 

[brokensea]

"Better" is such a subjective term.... Not an appropriate way to determine if therapy is helping....

Someone can still be suicidal or have suicidal thoughts and be better.

So true

I'm so sorry OP…reading your words went right through my veins. it's so unfortunate they steer you one way and then you're on to the next. Please try not to take personal. It's their protocol. I think many of these workers definitely care and want you under watch with someone who could make a better impact on you and in times like these, it's to be in the care of a person who can watch you physically. Its out of care for the most part why they directed you that way. I'm so sorry you're struggling this way though. You're not alone and you are understood. <3

Thank you. <3 It's like you open up and tell someone your deepest darkest feelings and all these things you're so afraid to share with anyone. You keep it all inside and it feels like someone utterly rejects you for it and it feels humiliating. He should have said from the beginning he can't help me. I've been saying the same kinds of things all along and he kept saying I can trust his support and he'll be here for me.

I told him I have days I can't drive because I get in a bad depression and I just feel so tired. Other days are better but I have darker periods. I still eat and take care of my hygiene but it's too much to drive some days. I just don't have the energy. So I cannot go to in person therapy which is why I chose virtual therapy and I cannot go to a clinic where I miss work and lose my job. (I work at home) So instead of suggesting online groups or any other support I can do he's knows I can't do these options and is literally leaving his suicidal patient with absolutely no support. Who does that?

 

[Mia Wallace]

So true

Thank you. <3 It's like you open up and tell someone your deepest darkest feelings and all these things you're so afraid to share with anyone. You keep it all inside and it feels like someone utterly rejects you for it and it feels humiliating. He should have said from the beginning he can't help me. I've been saying the same kinds of things all along and he kept saying I can trust his support and he'll be here for me.

I told him I have days I can't drive because I get in a bad depression and I just feel so tired. Other days are better but I have darker periods. I still eat and take care of my hygiene but it's too much to drive some days. I just don't have the energy. So I cannot go to in person therapy which is why I chose virtual therapy and I cannot go to a clinic where I miss work and lose my job. (I work at home) So instead of suggesting online groups or any other support I can do he's knows I can't do these options and is literally leaving his suicidal patient with absolutely no support. Who does that?

I understand what you are feeling right now. I think some of the worst feelings I had in my life was being vulnerable to a person and open up to only to be dismissed. It makes you feel worthless. Unfortunately, care for mental health in this world falls short on so many levels. I do think the person in your care actually cared but couldn't go further due to protocol and such but you're right. They should have made better suggestions that would correlate to your situation. The thing I don't like about therapists is from the quote "you never know what someone is going through unless you have experienced it for yourself" that's why I feel like my best therapists are people who have gone through similar situations. You'd ideally want to talk to someone who has been there and pulled themselves out. That would be the perfect therapist. I think a lot of people here could be amazing therapists. Sending you my love friend

 

[eve2004]

I think it's unethical to ditch a client/patient while actively suicidal without ensuring a smooth transition to other resources... I'm pretty sure that's grounds for reporting too...

 

[Forever Sleep]

Thanks. He said if I'm this suicidal he could lose his license by continuing to treat me virtually because it isn't best practice and I have to see someone in person. I said what is the difference and he said they can monitor you more. I have a good webcam he can see me it just feels so stupid. He even said it was against the law and I don't see how that's true.

I said I just want someone to be here for me and be reliable and not ditch me for other relationships or friends. If I move away to have a friend come visit me because none of my friends did. To have someone in your life that they're just not going to be gone one day. In this session he says my thinking is disordered and I'm dependent and want someone to take care of me and I said this is what I do for people I care about and there's nothing wrong with wanting that it's human especially when so many people have let you down and this was really bothering me already he was saying my thinking was distorted and not based in reality by these things and he said when I have some sense of self then relationships enhance your life but aren't vital that I shouldn't need anybody. I feel like everyone should be more loving and giving and kind and support people. Why is everyone so fucking depressed if this self absorbed outlook that I don't need anyone or need to do anything for them is so great. Everyone needs support and love and kindness. Everyone wants someone stable in their lives. So what. He was really frustrating me and saying this in our last session together we just had again about my disordered thinking. So maybe he sucks idk. I'm so sad and pissed off. If he wasn't going to support me then don't say you're going to after I tell you I'm suicidal then you provide tons of support and even text me every day then just drop a bomb on me like this. No one in my life knows I'm this depressed or suicidal and I finally tell someone and I feel completely rejected

Yeah I just had a horrible break up with this mentally abusive person that ruined my last chance to have a child and caused me to have a miscarriage and this left me feeling even more suicidal and my therapist was helping me not talk to my ex and separate from him and deal with these emotions then he ditches me too. I just feel like I hate people. This place is the only place that understands this kind of grief or any way that I'm feeling.

I'm so sorry this has happened. I agree- it takes a lot of courage to actually open up about really private stuff to basically a complete stranger. You have to trust them for it to work and while he may have had guidelines or whatever (I really don't know) that informed his decision, I can't believe he didn't refer you to other sources- at the very least. It's bound to feel like a massive let down and rejection.

I agree with you- I'm certain there must be lots of online resouces- especially since covid and I imagine these would be massively beneficial to people who are struggling just leaving the house. Sounds to me like he just wants to protect himself with very little concern for you.

I think I've been in a similar position to you regarding the hope for close relationships/friendships. I used to be very close with someone at uni. I think at that age- first time living away from home and all that, you really depend on each other. Thing is though- people do often move on with their lives and it can be really hurtful. Remember the realisation started to hit in at work once and a colleague said to me- 'You shouldn't rely on them for anything and they shouldn't rely on you for anything.' It seemed like a terribly cold way to live but the sad reality is- it kind of feels safer now to just not trust anyone- not completely anyhow.

I really hope you are able to find a new therapist to work with and wish you all the best.

 

[brokensea]

I understand what you are feeling right now. I think some of the worst feelings I had in my life was being vulnerable to a person and open up to only to be dismissed. It makes you feel worthless. Unfortunately, care for mental health in this world falls short on so many levels. I do think the person in your care actually cared but couldn't go further due to protocol and such but you're right. They should have made better suggestions that would correlate to your situation. The thing I don't like about therapists is from the quote "you never know what someone is going through unless you have experienced it for yourself" that's why I feel like my best therapists are people who have gone through similar situations. You'd ideally want to talk to someone who has been there and pulled themselves out. That would be the perfect therapist. I think a lot of people here could be amazing therapists. Sending you my love friend

Thank you my friend and you're right I need someone more experienced in the feelings I'm having. It's like you're supposed to be my support system not freak out and make me feel like I'm so disturbed you can't help me after saying you could. I shared so much with him, such private things, like it just hurts my heart. I have not even as of yet bought anything to commit suicide on my plan. No matter how much I feel that way I haven't taken that next step yet.

Some people can't go out of their homes because of their anxiety and depression and I feel online therapy is groundbreaking as a treatment option for that. It makes no sense to say you have to go to in person therapy even if you can't make it there well too bad I guess! There are groups online so many other options if I'm not in a place I can do that. Like I have a good webcam he can see me but he said they can monitor me better in person. To me I feel there's no difference.

I'm so sorry this has happened. I agree- it takes a lot of courage to actually open up about really private stuff to basically a complete stranger. You have to trust them for it to work and while he may have had guidelines or whatever (I really don't know) that informed his decision, I can't believe he didn't refer you to other sources- at the very least. It's bound to feel like a massive let down and rejection.

I agree with you- I'm certain there must be lots of online resouces- especially since covid and I imagine these would be massively beneficial to people who are struggling just leaving the house. Sounds to me like he just wants to protect himself with very little concern for you.

I think I've been in a similar position to you regarding the hope for close relationships/friendships. I used to be very close with someone at uni. I think at that age- first time living away from home and all that, you really depend on each other. Thing is though- people do often move on with their lives and it can be really hurtful. Remember the realisation started to hit in at work once and a colleague said to me- 'You shouldn't rely on them for anything and they shouldn't rely on you for anything.' It seemed like a terribly cold way to live but the sad reality is- it kind of feels safer now to just not trust anyone- not completely anyhow.

I really hope you are able to find a new therapist to work with and wish you all the best.

Yeah it's just like why can't you at least stay in touch with someone you're close to. Why can't your friends be there for you during something really terrible in your life and you for them. I never have gotten a boyfriend and drifted away from my friends like so many have to me. Like I deeply value the connections in my life and people are important to me. Even if you're not in each other's lives every day. I moved away for a couple years and had so many close friends not one of them visited me even though I invited them many times and said I'd even pay the ticket. I just want a deep close relationship that you can actually count on another person. All my therapist kept telling me was my thinking was disordered and not based in reality and I am dependent. I think this is normal or should be freaking normal way of living in this world. Like I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. That you want someone who cares and to rely on. And it can feel terribly lonely when you've never had anyone reliable and consistent like that in your life and you feel no one really deeply cares for you. I guess the goal is to love yourself and just not give a shit or need a basic human thing like that idk.

I think it's unethical to ditch a client/patient while actively suicidal without ensuring a smooth transition to other resources... I'm pretty sure that's grounds for reporting too...

Thanks. I think once he sent his email with a link to a 30 day clinic and here's a in person therapist he's washed his hands of it. Knowing I can't do either option. I just can't imagine this would be my approach if I was a therapist and felt out of my element. I'd also have a longer conversation about it and admit I want you to get more help than I can provide what do YOU feel we can do. Here are some options. Will any of these work for you? What we if try this option instead? Maybe there's online support groups. Not like here's a list of useless things you told me won't work for you, pick one or have no support at all I guess. Good luck with that suicide thing!

 

[Mixo]

If he told you that it would be against the law for him to continue seeing you, in spite of your being suicidal, then it's reasonable to suspect that he didn't tell you the full and complete truth behind terminating you as a client. The more accurate, adjacent picture to what he told you is that if you did attempt to kill yourself while registered as a client of his, he could be called in for a subpoena through the court system, questioned, and be charged of negligence and lose his license. Online therapists typically state you "need a higher level of care" the minute suicidality is broached, this is a standard response. Sounds like you know all of this already, but I'm just here to affirm your perception of what's happening here.

I'm sure what he did was hurtful and probably felt like a massive waste of your time, energy, and vulnerability. A more experienced therapist would have probably stated their boundaries outright in the first session and informed you of their duties to report (i.e. Tarasoff, imminent suicidality, domestic violence) and under what circumstances therapy would be terminated. The fact that they met with you extensively, even after you disclosed your suicidality, before referring you elsewhere is problematic. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

I always say it on the forum, so please take this with a grain of salt, but imo the pragmatic choice is to never disclose suicidality to anyone (certainly nothing past ideation), for better or worse because loss always occurs on some level, whether it's your reputation, finances, social relationships or otherwise. At the very least, you can say you learned something useful out of this, and perhaps in time you can find a professional who won't be quite so unpredictable.

I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but if you have private insurance, you may be able to identify partial outpatient programs. This would require some extra footwork but you'd likely be able to attend therapy sessions a few days week and come/go as you please, rather than be committed against your will. That's if you're not already fed up with the once weekly 50 minute session format.

 

[Stormboxer]

This is exactly what happened to me recently. It really hurts, I can understand your pain. Im guessing the only reason they leave us when we are suicidal is so they wouldn't get in trouble if we did it.

 

[brokensea]

If he told you that it would be against the law for him to continue seeing you, in spite of your being suicidal, then it's reasonable to suspect that he didn't tell you the full and complete truth behind terminating you as a client. The more accurate, adjacent picture to what he told you is that if you did attempt to kill yourself while registered as a client of his, he could be called in for a subpoena through the court system, questioned, and be charged of negligence and lose his license. Online therapists typically state you "need a higher level of care" the minute suicidality is broached, this is a standard response. Sounds like you know all of this already, but I'm just here to affirm your perception of what's happening here.

I'm sure what he did was hurtful and probably felt like a massive waste of your time, energy, and vulnerability. A more experienced therapist would have probably stated their boundaries outright in the first session and informed you of their duties to report (i.e. Tarasoff, imminent suicidality, domestic violence) and under what circumstances therapy would be terminated. The fact that they met with you extensively, even after you disclosed your suicidality, before referring you elsewhere is problematic. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

I always say it on the forum, so please take this with a grain of salt, but imo the pragmatic choice is to never disclose suicidality to anyone (certainly nothing past ideation), for better or worse because loss always occurs on some level, whether it's your reputation, finances, social relationships or otherwise. At the very least, you can say you learned something useful out of this, and perhaps in time you can find a professional who won't be quite so unpredictable.

I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but if you have private insurance, you may be able to identify partial outpatient programs. This would require some extra footwork but you'd likely be able to attend therapy sessions a few days week and come/go as you please, rather than be committed against your will. That's if you're not already fed up with the once weekly 50 minute session format.

Wow. Everything you sent here I feel is so true. He kept bringing up his license and how it's against the law to continue online therapy with me when I'm suicidal - which isn't true I researched later. That he had a ethical dilemma and was putting his license at risk by continuing to see me. This was his main point in not seeing me further.

It makes a lot of sense what you said that he was worried I'd commit suicide and he'd have these consequences since this seemed to be the biggest issue he talked about. I think shuffling me off somewhere else he will have less responsibility if something happens to me.

It's a bit cold he rushed me off for his own personal concerns but helps me a lot not to take this so personally.

I know we are a big group of suicidal people here but I have never felt more understood or supported anywhere else. That other people have insight and perspective into what's going on having to have seen or dealt with similar things. How isolating and alone this feels, how crappy our systems of help are. How crappy the world just is for us and how we are treated because of it, on top of everything else we are already feeling.

Thank you for writing me and helping me to understand this and get a different perspective on this. So many people have helped today when I really feel I'm spiraling and so hurt and can't stop crying. Thank you.

This is exactly what happened to me recently. It really hurts, I can understand your pain. Im guessing the only reason they leave us when we are suicidal is so they wouldn't get in trouble if we did it.

I'm sorry it sucks and I think you're right.

 

[eve2004]

Thanks. I think once he sent his email with a link to a 30 day clinic and here's a in person therapist he's washed his hands of it. Knowing I can't do either option. I just can't imagine this would be my approach if I was a therapist and felt out of my element. I'd also have a longer conversation about it and admit I want you to get more help than I can provide what do YOU feel we can do. Here are some options. Will any of these work for you? What we if try this option instead? Maybe there's online support groups. Not like here's a list of useless things you told me won't work for you, pick one or have no support at all I guess. Good luck with that suicide thing!

Mine did the exact same thing. "Here is a place (hospital) to go to (early pandemic), good luck".

I am so pissed at your therapist right now... I cannot believe these people do this. I thought I just got a bad one, but hearing your story makes me mad. Imagine the number of people this happens to but who don't come onto forums and tell anyone? There is some truth to that statistic that the majority of people who CTB have had contact with a mental health professional or a physician. I am willing to bet that the "contact" is what drove them to do it... You won't see that written anywhere, they'd just cover for each other. SICK.

 

[brokensea]

Mine did the exact same thing. "Here is a place (hospital) to go to (early pandemic), good luck".

I am so pissed at your therapist right now... I cannot believe these people do this. I thought I just got a bad one, but hearing your story makes me mad. Imagine the number of people this happens to but who don't come onto forums and tell anyone? There is some truth to that statistic that the majority of people who CTB have had contact with a mental health professional or a physician. I am willing to bet that the "contact" is what drove them to do it... You won't see that written anywhere, they'd just cover for each other. SICK.

Thank you so much for understanding. He just called me and said he wanted to explain and it was a ugly conversation he said I think this is what's best for you and I said that is completely illogical that I can't do these support options so in reality you're leaving me with no support, breaking my trust when you were telling me you'd be here to support me. And now I feel completely destroyed by this but you think this is best for me. And he's like in the long run I think it's best and I said you can't tell me that what you think is best is right for me. I said I can't go to in person therapy because I can't drive when I'm in a bad mental state which happens a lot. And he's like you can Uber to in person therapy or take a bus. I said what is the difference between that and online therapy and he said you build more of a connection in person than virtually and I said there is no difference for me that is again your opinion. I have no say so in anything all I feel is let down and lied by you and why would I want to see someone else and why would I believe they'd support me like you told me you would. And he's like I don't want to cause you more pain but this is what I would tell a family member or friend and what I think is best for you. So I said well that's great for you that you feel that way and got off the phone. So I'm just upset and pissed. Every person is different you can't say what is best for one person or another and abandoning your client and giving them treatment options that don't work certainly isn't the best course of action for them after convincing them they're always going to be here and support you. Getting them to trust you and then do this to someone in a fragile mental state where you're their only sense of support. Making someone feel awful and betrayed and giving them no support. Not working with where they are at that online groups and online therapy is the only thing maybe they can do right now and that's ok. And I'm not going to a center where I miss a ton of work and lose my job. Idk it's ridiculous and I'm so hurt. I wish he never even called me I just feel worse.