Discussion I bought SN again

[sillyprincessmeow]

I bought it again from this website, I don't know if it's really the best, but I used my digital card so that I can reset it afterwards, but I have gotten an order confirmations and receipt, so hopefully they'll still deliver to my house, I paid for priority shipping as well, so I hope that that works, I really hope I don't get scammed or anything like that because it was like 170 something dollars this time. I don't know why he's doing this to me, I feel so depressed and sick right now guys. I feel so alone.
When it comes in the mail, I'm gonna call him and I'm gonna tell him, because like I don't wanna die, but if I can't be with him, and if my life situation won't improve, I can't stay here. But I'm gonna tell him that he has to come get me and save me, I'm not trying to manipulate him or anything like that. I just want him to care about me and save me. I've had dreams and should've been since I was a little girl and that's why it makes it so fucking difficult, like for years I've been searching for this, and then, as soon as it comes, I don't get to have it. He was being so scary last night, saying that my whole life, and it will listen in his control, and that since I went against him and fight him now I must pay consequences. Oh please God I just wanna be happy with him. He hasn't talked to me, but he sent me these stupid ass text messages last night about how I make him wanna hurt himself by smoking cigarettes, I literally tell them all the time not to smoke cigarettes, not to vape, like what the fuck How idiotic is he?
I just can't take it anymore. My head hurts, my body hurts, I feel so sick, I hope that this works because I just can't take it anymore. I have nothing and no one. Nothing in no one.

 

[Eriktf]

if you want to be saved and dont want to die then dont take SN.
do not take SN to get attention

Recovery and Crisis Resource Compilation

The following are resources for you to reach out for help and support. We encourage you to seek recovery and be happy. Different resources work for different people, so we encourage you try several until you find what you need. Your happiness comes first. The list has been created from...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[sillyprincessmeow]

if you want to be saved and dont want to die then dont take SN.
do not take SN to get attention

Recovery and Crisis Resource Compilation

The following are resources for you to reach out for help and support. We encourage you to seek recovery and be happy. Different resources work for different people, so we encourage you try several until you find what you need. Your happiness comes first. The list has been created from...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thank you I appreciate that, I appreciate everyone who tells me that if I really don't want it, I shouldn't do it, but the only way that I could ever really be happy is if I was somebody else. I don't wanna die, but I know that I can't live because I will never truly be the woman that I want to be. I will never be beautiful enough, rich enough, family, orientated, I will never have the life that I dreamed of. I'm hoping to rejoin my uncle, ever since he left, I've felt like I've had no one who will ever really be able to connect with me. That's completely besides the point though, so yeah I'm just gonna do my best I guess.
I certainly just wanna have it in case one of these days becomes way too much, I'm just hoping to be gone by next year.

 

[Eriktf]

Thank you I appreciate that, I appreciate everyone who tells me that if I really don't want it, I shouldn't do it, but the only way that I could ever really be happy is if I was somebody else. I don't wanna die, but I know that I can't live because I will never truly be the woman that I want to be. I will never be beautiful enough, rich enough, family, orientated, I will never have the life that I dreamed of. I'm hoping to rejoin my uncle, ever since he left, I've felt like I've had no one who will ever really be able to connect with me. That's completely besides the point though, so yeah I'm just gonna do my best I guess.
I certainly just wanna have it in case one of these days becomes way too much, I'm just hoping to be gone by next year.

it can be nice to have a wayout ready

but again do not take SN to get attention only take it if you want to die

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Do not take ANY amount of SN unless you're 100% prepared to die at that time. Even miniscule amounts can be fatal.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/psa-do-not-test-ingest-sn.201611/

 

[rainwillneverstop]

I'm sorry for your situation but telling somebody you will CTB if they don't save or stay with you is 100% manipulation.

you're not alone with your thoughts, there's a whole community here sharing them.
but don't play around with sn, or people please.

 

[sillyprincessmeow]

I'm sorry for your situation but telling somebody you will CTB if they don't save or stay with you is 100% manipulation.

you're not alone with your thoughts, there's a whole community here sharing them.
but don't play around with sn, or people please.

yeah i know, its certainly a very bad idea i have, its more like some sick fantasy that someone would care enough to save me
when i do it, i wont be reaching out to anyone. my phones going to be off because i dont want them reporting me missing and then finding my phone pings.
Thank you for the direct reminder.