You're not alone :(
I have a lot of bad therapist stories, you don't have to read this but I wanna get it out I suppose.
I know I can be difficult sometimes but my therapist seemed to sometimes laugh at me sometimes or sound more like a judgmental mother than a therapist.
One of them I dropped after two sessions because she couldn't even hide it in her face she was amused by me. I can socially come off different, I've been called autistic before so yeah.
Another one during this outpatient treatment I went to after hospitalization (which also sucked, they seemed to want to put me on meds more than listen to me intelligently, also one of the art therapists there acted disparaging toward me, saying I was putting up a social mask, but maybe I don't trust people enough to want to connect? Other patients were calling me names and shit and she seemed to encourage it)
Anyway the therapist in the outpatient program was very bad at her job. Idk if she was new but she seemed to get upset easily and like she needed therapy herself. She seemed to look down at me for not connecting emotionally like others in the group and kept saying I need to work on my "interpersonal effectiveness skills" in a disparaging way. Then when the therapy was over I literally heard her talking with someone else in a room as I was walking in the lobby saying that I was a difficult patient, and she seemed like, angry. Like, you can't even wait til they leave to talk about a patient? Idk it's like she was mad I threatened her sense of competence as a therapist. I wasn't even mean to her I just didn't want to be there
I read the entire thing. Thank you for sharing your story/experiences. Unfortunately, what you wrote about happens alot. These "professionals" aren't so professional. A lot of them can be bullies, mean spirited, and inappropriate. You didn't deserve what happened to you. I am sorry to hear these experiences are more common than people think. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. It really means a lot to me. Take care of yourself. Don't let them make you feel less than. You deserve kindness. I am on the Autism Spectrum too. People really don't understand us, the way we think, process stuff. They are usually very harsh with us. It is terrible.
I am so sorry. I know you must be exhausted but please don't give up your therapist search. Like someone said above modern mental health professionals suck. I had a therapist "break up" with me and I realized that was due to her ignorance and had nothing to do with me. It took me 3 years after that to find my current therapist who is awesome. I cycled through about 10 before finding my current one and would drop them after 1-2 sessions knowing they weren't going to be helpful. Again I know you're probably exhausted, but don't stop looking for someone who's the right fit for you. This is not a reflection on you whatsoever, it's a reflection of the ignorance and lack of education in the psych field.
I wasn't going to respond to this comment but then I changed my mind. I am done, finished, it is over. I will not put myself through this again; I am not a sadists. I do think it is a reflection of me. Please let me tell you why. These same therapist continue to see other patients but give up on me consistently. Some of these other patients are more challenging than my case and they still choose to axe me from services. I can't help but look at it as something must be intrinsically wrong with me as a person. I get this overwhelming feeling of dread that sinks in when this happens (another therapist drops me). The years are passing, I am growing colder, and older; still very much alone. No one stays with me. I am so easily let go. While I see other people's lives and they are surrounded by people who love them. They have had the same supportive therapist for many years. There has to be something "different" about me,
not in a good way, that has led to the deterioration of the relationships in my life. Even if it is not me, or I haven't been at fault every time, nobody sees value in me as a human being. To be aware of this and to keep watching people so callously leave my life is devastating. I am not giving up on them, they gave up on me. At this point it is a toxic situation and unhealthy for me to keep doing this to myself.
As a psych major and someone who has a social worker stepmother I want to apologize for modern mental health professionals. Furthermore, as someone who has spent more than half their existence in therapy between multiple therapists, it's sad to say it's not uncommon for therapists to abandon their clients.
While I can't say exactly what the reason is for you particular therapist, a lot of the times it's due to a lack of foreseeable progress. A therapist who believes they are stuck feels incapable of assisting and cuts ties, despite the glaringly obvious negative consequences that has.
There's a lot of therapists, and too many of them seem to be problem solvers instead of healers. I don't really know what your situation is like, but it sounds like you really need someone there for you, and if so then it's nothing but despicable for your therapist to leave you.
There's a lot of suffering in this world, and it's disheartening that the people trained to fix it fail where they are needed. I'm of the belief that some situations are simply just hopeless. I really wish consensual euthanasia was legal, as everyone deserves a painless and peaceful way out. Society isn't ready to swallow that pill yet tho :P.
I hope your starvation goes okay, and if your intent is to follow through then I wish you nothing but strength. If not, maybe try the night-night method, as it's somewhat easy to obtain since you can shoplift the needed items out of most general stores.
Once again, I'm truly sorry. I know how little it really means coming from a stranger on the internet, but regardless I feel compelled. The world and humanity may have turned their backs on you, but just know that you have more soul than the vast majority. If people are so uncaring that they would abandon and discard you, then really they aren't worth much shit anyways
I wish you strength in your endeavors. May you find peace in whatever you do next. Take care soldier.
Wow! Amazing! Thank you for sharing. It was very thought provoking and informative. Ironically, he did seem frastrated I wasn't making progress fast enough for him. He was very much a problem solver when I just needed him to listen.
He can solve mental health conditions but he can be supportive to the person suffering. He became so cold and angry with me. He said, "I can't help you". It would have been great to know this before it got this far.
I asked him all the time for feedback. He always reassured me everything was fine. Then just pulled the rug from under me. I can tell it had been building up but he kept placating me. The feelings that arise from being abruptly abandoned are heart wrenching to experience for me. I wish someone would not leave.
Can you send me a personal email detailing the "
night night" method? I have never heard of it and now I am curious. I have a modest income although I am homeless. I also have some savings. If you or anyone had method ideas I can purchase whatever is needed. The city I live in the rent and cost of living is extremely high. There are a lot of "working poor" and people being priced out of the state. The struggle is real.
