My suicide today

[SadGirl]

I'm shit to my family, my father died 8 months ago and I don't even know if he died with any pride in me. (Well, I guess so, because on his deathbed he finally told me he loved me.) Anyway, now it's just me and my mom! My toxic mother who doesn't know how to deal with her shit and takes all her frustration out on me, it's no longer enough that I have my psychiatric problems like ADHD, borderline with severe depression. My mother every day finds a way to put me even lower, and my girlfriend too, always leaves me for "later" I feel like I'm not her priority anymore, I know she says she loves me and is focused on money so we can have a better life, I mean, her life is better than mine, financially. This fucking social class really messes with me, a lot. Anyway, I think that, since 2019, here on the forum, the only place where I have always been able to say what I really feel and be myself without anyone pointing the finger at me and judging me for something. You really are incredible, if my CTB works out, I'm going to miss you guys, I really will. But if I give up, I will return as a shame, a failure. Maybe it would be too much to come back here, I think if I don't make it, I'd rather you think I'm dead. Anyway folks, that's it.

 

[The J0ker]

 

[Jade10666]

Please find peace in your future.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

But if I give up, I will return as a shame, a failure. Maybe it would be too much to come back here, I think if I don't make it, I'd rather you think I'm dead.

Not my intent to try and tell you how to feel, but please don't feel there would be any shame in failing your ctb. It's hard to ctb and doesn't work out for many people their 1st time, or 2nd, or 50th. I hope it wouldn't be "too much" for you to come back here. There's no judgment here, only commiseration.

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish, and if you don't ctb this time please do come back to the community. No one's pointing any fingers at anyone else for what they do or don't do. And we all need folk who get where we are without our constantly having to justify ourselves or explain things.

 

[DoomCry]

Of course, you don't have to be ashamed.