My Suicide Attempt with Phenobarbital and Morphine

[Demian]

That's absolutely crazy! Selling you that much Morphine and Phenobarb without a prescription.

What documents did you have to show them and how much did it all cost if you don't mind me asking?

Where are you based, UK?

Identity document.

The morphine was around R$300.00.
The phenobarbital was around R$20.00.

I'm from Brazil.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

The most effective would be secobarbital or thiopental.

Not expecting you to mind read and have a conclusive answer, but why does the PPeH recommend N then?

 

[Rubypie41]

Identity document.

The morphine was around R$300.00.
The phenobarbital was around R$20.00.

I'm from Brazil.

Wow, might have to fly over to Brazil. I have everything for the DDMA or DDMP method apart from the Morphine. Can get Oxycodone but not sure if that can be used as a replacement to Morphine in the DDMA method.

 

[iji]

How did you manage to take 21g of phenobarbital? Did you turn the pills into powder? How? Asking because I was/am inspired by your original post and was planning to do just the same but with a lower phenobarbital dosage.

Didn't you take alcohol to increase the drugs potential?

Did you feel any discomfort/pain after you ingested the drugs?

 

[Relic]

Not expecting you to mind read and have a conclusive answer, but why does the PPeH recommend N then?

Their recommendations were based on availability. This is now basically obsolete and unobtainable for most. The fixation on "N" is almost becoming a distraction. Barbiturates and its derivatives are a big family, used to be some of the most synthesized drugs in human history, from 1940s to 70's. Well, that party is over, but there are still some available, if one is willing to look past the pentobarbital. Still not that easy to get, though. If someone is willing to sacrifice the effectiveness, the availability becomes somewhat higher.

 

[saduser88]

Hi, here I am again, now with another login (my old login was iDontKnowWhat).

On 15/11/2023 I attempted suicide with 21 grams of phenobarbital (2x the lethal dose), and 3 grams of morphine (12x the lethal dose). I was taken to hospital, where I was in a coma for 15 days. Thank God I didn't have any permanent sequelae. That amount of medicine can kill a horse, without exaggeration. I don't know how I'm alive except by a miracle.

This weekend I had the urge to die again, but this time I only have the courage to do it with a gun or with nembutal, but I can't get one. I feel frustrated, angry, distressed, desperate, hopeless without energy.

Sad...

I'm not trying to be disrespectful, I'm glad you're okay. But has anyone signed a DNR? I've been thinking of asking my doctor to do it. So if I have an attempt they won't revive me. I'm new here and this is my first reply. Bear with me please.

 

[Demian]

Not expecting you to mind read and have a conclusive answer, but why does the PPeH recommend N then?

What is PPeH?

Wow, might have to fly over to Brazil. I have everything for the DDMA or DDMP method apart from the Morphine. Can get Oxycodone but not sure if that can be used as a replacement to Morphine in the DDMA method.

Oxycodone is a potent opioid analgesic, a semi-synthetic analogue of morphine, derived from thebaine. It is a pure agonist, with a strong affinity for mu opioid receptors. Its potency is twice that of morphine

How did you manage to take 21g of phenobarbital? Did you turn the pills into powder? How? Asking because I was/am inspired by your original post and was planning to do just the same but with a lower phenobarbital dosage.

Didn't you take alcohol to increase the drugs potential?

Did you feel any discomfort/pain after you ingested the drugs?

I didn't use alcohol and I didn't feel any pain.

As for taking the pills, I already take medication, so I'm used to it.

 

[Rubypie41]

What is PPeH?

Oxycodone is a potent opioid analgesic, a semi-synthetic analogue of morphine, derived from thebaine. It is a pure agonist, with a strong affinity for mu opioid receptors. Its potency is twice that of morphine

I didn't use alcohol and I didn't feel any pain.

As for taking the pills, I already take medication, so I'm used to it.

PePH is the Peaceful PIll Handbook.

The question is, can Oxycodone be used as a substitute for Morph using the DDMP or DDMA method.

The problems I see with Oxycodone are:

1. The new formula is prolonged release and the tablets made in a way that make them very difficult to crush, therefore the onset of action could be too slow
2. More likely to cause nausea than Morph
3. More likely to cause breathing difficulties which could make the experience very unpleasant

 

[conflagration]

Thank you for sharing experience. Have you been fasting before attempt?

 

[Relic]

As for taking the pills, I already take medication, so I'm used to it.

Pills, did you just swallow them? I forgot the term, but in autopsies they often find pills undissolved clumped together. The pills need to be always dissolved first when taking many of them together.

 

[Justnotme]

As for the morphine, it is possible to have a naturally high tolerance or even near immunity to opiates..It's a genetic thing. We are like that. Found out in the ER. 8mg of IV morphine for pain did absolutely nothing to dull 9/10 pain that was sudden and new. We straight up asked while sobbing if they we certain they gave us the right thing. Didn't even affect heart rate or BP at all. Hydrocodone does nothing either aside from make us sick. Oxycodone was the same. Made us super sick years ago, but nothing else.

And what hurt you so much that even morphine didn't help relieve the pain, which was 9/10 strength?

 

[_Broken_alice]

And what hurt you so much that even morphine didn't help relieve the pain, which was 9/10 strength?

Kidney stones... The largest that finally passed was 1.5mm x 2mm x 6mm. We wouldn't have even gone as we deal with that level of pain fairly often, but the extreme nausea with it and it being new pain was very distressing.

 

[Justnotme]

Kidney stones... The largest that finally passed was 1.5mm x 2mm x 6mm. We wouldn't have even gone as we deal with that level of pain fairly often, but the extreme nausea with it and it being new pain was very distressing.

Damn... I've read that kidney stones are incredibly painful.. It's terrible (The body is so fragile and causes so much pain

 

[_Broken_alice]

Damn... I've read that kidney stones are incredibly painful.. It's terrible (The body is so fragile and causes so much pain

Yeah.. Second time having them, but the first time it hurt so badly. Passed fragments for a month afterward. Thankfully most of the pain was gone once the massive fragment passed.
At least one of the ER staff were super gender affirming without intending to be. We got asked if we had ever had ovarian cysts. Gave us something positive to think about while sobbing in pain.
And yeah, the body is so fragile yet resilient at the same time. Our daily pain average is around a 5/10 with frequent spikes to 7&8/10. We are used to pain yet it still wears down on us. New unexpected pain though can be alarming to us. The darn kidney stones had us in the floor curled up sobbing with intense nausea mixed in. Not fun at all since we are extremely emetophobic. Had we known it was just kidney stones, we would have just dealt with it as best we could.

 

[Justnotme]

Yeah.. Second time having them, but the first time it hurt so badly. Passed fragments for a month afterward. Thankfully most of the pain was gone once the massive fragment passed.
At least one of the ER staff were super gender affirming without intending to be. We got asked if we had ever had ovarian cysts. Gave us something positive to think about while sobbing in pain.
And yeah, the body is so fragile yet resilient at the same time. Our daily pain average is around a 5/10 with frequent spikes to 7&8/10. We are used to pain yet it still wears down on us. New unexpected pain though can be alarming to us. The darn kidney stones had us in the floor curled up sobbing with intense nausea mixed in. Not fun at all since we are extremely emetophobic. Had we known it was just kidney stones, we would have just dealt with it as best we could.

It's impossible to cure, right? Are you receiving narcotic painkillers? Or are you not allowed to take strong pills for kidney stones?

 

[_Broken_alice]

It's impossible to cure, right? Are you receiving narcotic painkillers? Or are you not allowed to take strong pills for kidney stones?

Thankfully not dealing with kidney stones anymore. And opiates do nothing for us at all. We have severe nerve issues which means 24/7 pain.

Don't really want to derail this thread anymore.

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

As for the morphine, it is possible to have a naturally high tolerance or even near immunity to opiates..It's a genetic thing. We are like that. Found out in the ER. 8mg of IV morphine for pain did absolutely nothing to dull 9/10 pain that was sudden and new. We straight up asked while sobbing if they we certain they gave us the right thing. Didn't even affect heart rate or BP at all. Hydrocodone does nothing either aside from make us sick. Oxycodone was the same. Made us super sick years ago, but nothing else.

I have always had such a bad reaction to morphine. I had no idea tolerance was genetic for this. Cause I've heard my sperm donor would also react really badly to morphine -- both of us get so sick we vomit and just can't move. I once accidently took a morphine pill (I dropped my birth control pill and didn't wear my glasses so I picked up a white round pill thinking it was my birth control, I lived in a house where people abused morphine). I had never taken morphine before that, and it hit me like a truck. I got so sick I just remember laying in my bed not able to move due to how dizzy and high I was, I had to bring my garbage can over to puke into it every 20 minutes or so. I was dry heaving by the end of it.

Told a friend of mine and he said "That's why I never really liked sharing any of my drugs with you, you're a weakling." Like excuse me, shrooms is not the same as fucking morphine my guy

 

[iji]

What is PPeH?

Oxycodone is a potent opioid analgesic, a semi-synthetic analogue of morphine, derived from thebaine. It is a pure agonist, with a strong affinity for mu opioid receptors. Its potency is twice that of morphine

I didn't use alcohol and I didn't feel any pain.

As for taking the pills, I already take medication, so I'm used to it.

How many pills did you take? How many mg/g were each pill?

Pills, did you just swallow them? I forgot the term, but in autopsies they often find pills undissolved clumped together. The pills need to be always dissolved first when taking many of them together.

I also don't understand this. Here in Brazil the most common is a box of phenobarbital with 30 pills of 100mg. So, he would need to take some 210 pills at once... That seems impractical to me.

 

[Relic]

I also don't understand this. Here in Brazil the most common is a box of phenobarbital with 30 pills of 100mg. So, he would need to take some 210 pills at once... That seems impractical to me.

Indeed, a strange decision, if that was the case. There are different pill sizes from different manufacturers, some have a lot of filler, mostly the pills that are sold in blister packs. But regardless of size, the pills would take a long time to dissolve and the risks would be high. Still not survivable if not discovered, though.

 

[Demian]

PePH is the Peaceful PIll Handbook.

The question is, can Oxycodone be used as a substitute for Morph using the DDMP or DDMA method.

The problems I see with Oxycodone are:

1. The new formula is prolonged release and the tablets made in a way that make them very difficult to crush, therefore the onset of action could be too slow
2. More likely to cause nausea than Morph
3. More likely to cause breathing difficulties which could make the experience very unpleasant

Got it. Thank you!

How many pills did you take? How many mg/g were each pill?

I also don't understand this. Here in Brazil the most common is a box of phenobarbital with 30 pills of 100mg. So, he would need to take some 210 pills at once... That seems impractical to me.

Phenobarbital 100mg with 30 pills

Morphine 30mg with 50 pills

I took 3 grams of morphine (100 pills) and 21 grams of phenobarbital (210 pills)

When I took it, I felt a rush of adrenaline, so I was able to swallow the pills quickly.