My Suicide Attempt with Phenobarbital and Morphine

[Demian]

Hi, here I am again, now with another login (my old login was iDontKnowWhat).

On 15/11/2023 I attempted suicide with 21 grams of phenobarbital (2x the lethal dose), and 3 grams of morphine (12x the lethal dose). I was taken to hospital, where I was in a coma for 15 days. Thank God I didn't have any permanent sequelae. That amount of medicine can kill a horse, without exaggeration. I don't know how I'm alive except by a miracle.

This weekend I had the urge to die again, but this time I only have the courage to do it with a gun or with nembutal, but I can't get one. I feel frustrated, angry, distressed, desperate, hopeless and without energy.

Sad...

 

[NeverGonnaEscape]

Damn I can't imagine how discouraging waking up after trying so hard. Did you get found right away or something?

 

[Relic]

Did you get everything from trusted sources?
Phenobarb is neuroprotective, but liver and kidneys most likely will take a hit. Might not be a problem for younger people.
Did you drink any alcohol? Don't quote me on that, but I remember some research stating that pheno and alcohol compete for the same receptors and cancel each other out.
The 3g morphine is a mystery.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

The 3g morphine is a mystery.

Opioids are known to have widely varying lethal doses from person to person, which makes them unreliable.

 

[_Broken_alice]

As for the morphine, it is possible to have a naturally high tolerance or even near immunity to opiates..It's a genetic thing. We are like that. Found out in the ER. 8mg of IV morphine for pain did absolutely nothing to dull 9/10 pain that was sudden and new. We straight up asked while sobbing if they we certain they gave us the right thing. Didn't even affect heart rate or BP at all. Hydrocodone does nothing either aside from make us sick. Oxycodone was the same. Made us super sick years ago, but nothing else.

 

[flyingjustice]

I feel you on that, I tried to OD on xanax and woke up in a hospital. This time I have H + fent and it takes a minimum of 2 mg to kill. I'm gonna be taking over 20x that so hopefully that should be enough to get the job done.

 

[wait.what]

I expect @_Broken_alice is right about the tolerance thing. One of my sisters & I have that, although not to the extent Alice describes.

It must have been a nightmare, waking up after what you had every right to expect was a sure thing. I'm sorry to hear your options are so limited. It can bring a lot of peace of mind to have a way out, whether you ever actually use it or not.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you failed. That should have been lethal but I think the crucial part was being found too early. How many hours after ingesting were you found?

 

[Justnotme]

Damn, it's terrible to wake up here again, I'm sorry :(
Did you see and feel anything while you were in a coma?

Do you remember how quickly you lost consciousness? Have you had any pain, vomiting?

Did you use chloral hydrate?

 

[rotciv]

I can only assume you were found too soon..

 

[Demian]

Hello again!

Yes, I was found in about 10 minutes, but I was in the bathtub with water, because my idea was to lose consciousness and drown, but there was no time. Where I found the method, it said that I would lose consciousness in two minutes, but that wasn't the case with me.

I found this method in a Dignitas source. This method is lethal, yes. In my case it was a miracle. My liver is fine, I'm fine, except for a calcification in my hip, where I'll have to have surgery to swim normally again. But I haven't had any permanent sequelae.

No, I have no tolerance to morphine or phenobarbital, both of which I bought without a prescription. I've never used them in my life. The leaflet for morphine says that 200mg is lethal and 500 or 600mg is certainly fatal. As for phenobarbital, some people take 15 grams and die.

I don't use barbiturates or opioids, so I don't have any tolerance to them.

When I woke up from the Glasgow3 coma I didn't understand anything, my mind was confused. It took me about three weeks to understand everything.

When I was in the coma I didn't have any spiritual experiences or anything like that. After taking the drugs I didn't vomit or feel pain or anything bad, and I don't remember when I lost consciousness.

I didn't use chloral hydrate.

I was found relatively soon, but within two minutes I should have lost consciousness and drowned, but I only lost consciousness about 20 to 30 minutes later.

 

[Shar]

Why waste your N when you can get caught so easily? Was there no other place for you to go?

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering, I understand feeling so trapped in this existence. To me it's so horrible how trying to die can potentially go wrong.

 

[Demian]

Why waste your N when you can get caught so easily? Was there no other place for you to go?

I didn't use Nembutal, I used phenobarbital and morphine. There was nowhere else, unfortunately.

 

[Justnotme]

Hello again!

Yes, I was found in about 10 minutes, but I was in the bathtub with water, because my idea was to lose consciousness and drown, but there was no time. Where I found the method, it said that I would lose consciousness in two minutes, but that wasn't the case with me.

I found this method in a Dignitas source. This method is lethal, yes. In my case it was a miracle. My liver is fine, I'm fine, except for a calcification in my hip, where I'll have to have surgery to swim normally again. But I haven't had any permanent sequelae.

No, I have no tolerance to morphine or phenobarbital, both of which I bought without a prescription. I've never used them in my life. The leaflet for morphine says that 200mg is lethal and 500 or 600mg is certainly fatal. As for phenobarbital, some people take 15 grams and die.

I don't use barbiturates or opioids, so I don't have any tolerance to them.

When I woke up from the Glasgow3 coma I didn't understand anything, my mind was confused. It took me about three weeks to understand everything.

When I was in the coma I didn't have any spiritual experiences or anything like that. After taking the drugs I didn't vomit or feel pain or anything bad, and I don't remember when I lost consciousness.

I didn't use chloral hydrate.

I was found relatively soon, but within two minutes I should have lost consciousness and drowned, but I only lost consciousness about 20 to 30 minutes later.

I am shocked that you lost consciousness only after 20-30 minutes..
When I drank only 450 mg of phenobarbital with a small amount of ethyl alcohol, I fell asleep after about 4 minutes, and woke up only 22 hours later.
This scheme did not work again, but still...

It's a pity that you didn't see anything beautiful during the coma (it's frustrating... I was so hoping that after death they would tell me that the torment of all living beings was a lie and that I made it all up :(

Do I understand correctly that you were already underwater and your lungs were already filled with water when they found you?


Sorry, due to the difficulty of translating into another language, I may misunderstand the text.

 

[Demian]

I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering, I understand feeling so trapped in this existence. To me it's so horrible how trying to die can potentially go wrong.

I'm also afraid of having permanent sequelae, now I only have the courage to use Nembutal or a firearm.

 

[Shar]

I didn't use Nembutal, I used phenobarbital and morphine. There was nowhere else, unfortunately.

They are the same

 

[Demian]

I am shocked that you lost consciousness only after 20-30 minutes..
When I drank only 450 mg of phenobarbital with a small amount of ethyl alcohol, I fell asleep after about 4 minutes, and woke up only 22 hours later.
This scheme did not work again, but still...

It's a pity that you didn't see anything beautiful during the coma (it's frustrating... I was so hoping that after death they would tell me that the torment of all living beings was a lie and that I made it all up :(

Do I understand correctly that you were already underwater and your lungs were already filled with water when they found you?


Sorry, due to the difficulty of translating into another language, I may misunderstand the text.

I also couldn't understand why I hadn't fainted after about five minutes.

I wasn't passed out, I just lost consciousness in hospital.

They are the same

Nembutal is from the same class of drugs, but it's the most effective of them all, no wonder it's the most widely used in euthanasia and assisted suicide.

 

[Tears in Rain]

They are the same

Nembutal = pentobarbital, not phenobarbital.
Both are barbiturates.

 

[Shar]

Nembutal = pentobarbital, not phenobarbital.
Both are barbiturates.

Now Its clear

 

[doughmixer1982]

How were you able to source pheno and morphine?

 

[Relic]

Opioids are known to have widely varying lethal doses from person to person, which makes them unreliable.

Therapeutic doses of fentanyl do nothing for me, but semisynthetic (oxy, codeine) work fine. Most opioids on the market are prodrugs, meaning, that the liver needs to convert them into their active form, which generally is morphine. There are different opioid receptors with different functions in a human body, and there are variations in how opioids affect someone. Just that combined with barbiturates, the effect of morphine on the CNS increases many times.

When I drank only 450 mg of phenobarbital with a small amount of ethyl alcohol

The maximum daily therapeutic dose is around 800mg (well, without alcohol). I think someone died after taking 2000mg, but I don't remember the circumstances. The minimum lethal dose is 5 grams, the lethal dose is 8 grams, and according to the same study, yet another lethal dose was stated to be ~111mg/kg.

Nembutal is from the same class of drugs, but it's the most effective of them all

The most effective would be secobarbital or thiopental.

 

[Demian]

How were you able to source pheno and morphine?

I called small pharmacies, where the salespeople are the owners themselves. I called and asked them directly if they sold morphine and phenobarbital without a prescription, until one day I found one.

The most effective would be secobarbital or thiopental.

I didn't know that.

Thank you!

 

[itsover090]

Lembro de você, mora no Brasil, né? Vi sua postagem

 

[Demian]

Lembro de você, mora no Brasil, né? Vi sua postagem

Isso mesmo

 

[intr0verse]

So to recap, the cause of your failed attempt was being found too early. The phenobarbital acted just as expected: it's a long acting barbiturate, meaning the loss of consciousness doesn't happen as quickly as in the case of short-acting barbiturates (like N). I have stressed many times on this forum the importance of making sure one has enough time before being discovered before attempting an OD.

 

[Demian]

So to recap, the cause of your failed attempt was being found too early. The phenobarbital acted just as expected: it's a long acting barbiturate, meaning the loss of consciousness doesn't happen as quickly as in the case of short-acting barbiturates (like N). I have stressed many times on this forum the importance of making sure one has enough time before being discovered before attempting an OD.

That's why next time I'll do it with a gun. I'll sort it out in a click.

 

[Rubypie41]

Hi, here I am again, now with another login (my old login was iDontKnowWhat).

On 15/11/2023 I attempted suicide with 21 grams of phenobarbital (2x the lethal dose), and 3 grams of morphine (12x the lethal dose). I was taken to hospital, where I was in a coma for 15 days. Thank God I didn't have any permanent sequelae. That amount of medicine can kill a horse, without exaggeration. I don't know how I'm alive except by a miracle.

This weekend I had the urge to die again, but this time I only have the courage to do it with a gun or with nembutal, but I can't get one. I feel frustrated, angry, distressed, desperate, hopeless and without energy.

Sad...

Damn, you must have a seriously natural high tolerance.

Sorry it didn't work out for you this time but also glad you came out of it ok.

How the hell did you get a pharmacy to sell you that much Morphine without a prescription! That's some shady illegal pharmacists working there.

Did you just walk into the pharmacy and they sold you it all at once?

 

[Demian]

Damn, you must have a seriously natural high tolerance.

Sorry it didn't work out for you this time but also glad you came out of it ok.

How the hell did you get a pharmacy to sell you that much Morphine without a prescription! That's some shady illegal pharmacists working there.

Did you just walk into the pharmacy and they sold you it all at once?

Thank you!

Maybe I have a natural tolerance, but I believe it was God.

I rang and they told me to go there and they'd see what to do. So I got there, showed my documents etc., said it was for me and some friends, said I needed the medication to sleep well, and then, with a lot of insistence, they sold the medication.

 

[Rubypie41]

Thank you!

Maybe I have a natural tolerance, but I believe it was God.

I rang and they told me to go there and they'd see what to do. So I got there, showed my documents etc., said it was for me and some friends, said I needed the medication to sleep well, and then, with a lot of insistence, they sold the medication.

That's absolutely crazy! Selling you that much Morphine and Phenobarb without a prescription.

What documents did you have to show them and how much did it all cost if you don't mind me asking?

Where are you based, UK?