My strong will (to dissapear)

[tweaka2x]

Life's perfect sometimes it seems. Though at the end of every day I will always remember what I did, how I did it, and who I did it to. Not just for one person or time but an endless list that I can barely fathom. I go to sleep thinking it's over but my dreams are only nightmares from my past.
Today is bad.
Through years of suffering I now know how worthless I am and how I will die. Why have I done this to myself?
I am damaged, deeply from events I brought upon myself.
I genuinely dont deserve what I have.
I wish to god almost every day that I wouldve taken this risk beforehand.
I dont belong to see through these eyes
I dont belong to breathe this air
I dont belong to have my hair
Or my hands or feet. I dont belong any of this.
I cant even talk to people anymore.
I dont even deserve to.
I want myself back. I want my old friends back. I want to remember who I was. I want someone to realize I am not joking.

 

[klantedklaw]

wishing you the best

 

[Nightfoot]

It might sound trite, but there's only one you, so you're not worthless, you're priceless.

 

[Feldsparc]

I feel like you do. I screwed up my own life by being people pleasing to the extent where i didn't know my own mind. Its the scariest feeling in the world