D
Denise
Member
- Oct 24, 2018
- 55
Hi,
I'm new to this site but came here to get info on carbon monoxide. I ended up joining because I wanted to talk to others who understand that it's a personal choice if we don't want to be here.
I've had both physical and mental health problems for years and it's just getting worse. Social Security keeps denying me so I have no income. I've been living with my mom for years and she supported me. I always swore I wouldn't do anything while she was alive because it would've killed her. I'm all she had left.
Well last September she passed away. The pain of losing her is unbearable. I have no income and basically no place to go. I rarely get out because of my health so my life consists of watching tv all day. That's no way to live. I'm lonely and miss my mom to the point of feeling physically sick at times and have no real place to go. I have a friend I see once a week but other than that I'm alone 24/7.
I just need to share my story about my plans and feel supported. I plan on using CO method in my bathroom. I'm scared it won't work and I'll end up in the psych ward. I'm going to use 2 kg of charcoal but put it in the bathroom after the flames go out. I'm afraid of letting it burn down too much and then it not being effective. I've read of people's failed attempts and wonder if waiting too long is the cause. But I'm afraid I won't fall asleep and the smoke will be too much. I plan on taking benzos and alcohol to help with falling asleep.
I am in so much emotional pain right now and just need some support and understanding. I'm also terrified of failing.
I'm new to this site but came here to get info on carbon monoxide. I ended up joining because I wanted to talk to others who understand that it's a personal choice if we don't want to be here.
I've had both physical and mental health problems for years and it's just getting worse. Social Security keeps denying me so I have no income. I've been living with my mom for years and she supported me. I always swore I wouldn't do anything while she was alive because it would've killed her. I'm all she had left.
Well last September she passed away. The pain of losing her is unbearable. I have no income and basically no place to go. I rarely get out because of my health so my life consists of watching tv all day. That's no way to live. I'm lonely and miss my mom to the point of feeling physically sick at times and have no real place to go. I have a friend I see once a week but other than that I'm alone 24/7.
I just need to share my story about my plans and feel supported. I plan on using CO method in my bathroom. I'm scared it won't work and I'll end up in the psych ward. I'm going to use 2 kg of charcoal but put it in the bathroom after the flames go out. I'm afraid of letting it burn down too much and then it not being effective. I've read of people's failed attempts and wonder if waiting too long is the cause. But I'm afraid I won't fall asleep and the smoke will be too much. I plan on taking benzos and alcohol to help with falling asleep.
I am in so much emotional pain right now and just need some support and understanding. I'm also terrified of failing.