My story and the reason - domestic (family) abuse

[dihgdsoigd]

There are a lot of terrible things and injustices in the world, but my main reason is due to my mother severely abusing me, my father, and my brother. She is extremely controlling, narcissistic, and emotionally abusive. She wanted me to live the life she wanted to live...I had no say over anything, no life of my own, and lived in an extremely sheltered, isolated, and controlled environment. I moved out recently at the age of 28, but still forced to keep in contact with her, and the extensive damage has already been done. I am still very behind in life compared to peers and also suffer from some physical health problems. I have tried so hard to hold out hope but I just don't care anymore. Every single day is pain, fear, anxiety, torture, and misery.

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

you need trauma counselling and a support network.

you need to explain her behaviors and how it affects you, maybe get a family social worker to mediate the peace.

if still no peace then cut them out since its toxic for you.

im sorry this happened to you.

you can still have a good life , you didnt deserve this.

be better than them and show the world how good you are and find the good people.
you can do this friend.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be so unbearable what you are going through. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, this life is just so unfair and some people are so cruel. I wish you the best and I hope you find relief from your pain in whatever you decide to do.

 

[yabuki77]

I've been in the same situation, my advice is to get out of contact with her ASAP if that is even possible for you. It takes a long time to heal but it really helped me after a few years.

 

[Rational man]

We do not choose family.but we can.disown.them. I too was abused.by sociopaths who deflected their pain on me. This behaviour is the reflection of their failings.not yours but they will treat you as failed. I.sought help.from a counsellor and found.some.peace. I.found.love.and ran a business. I was.not.a failure but it was clear my parent's couldn't love intimately. I made a choice to cut my losses and move on. Unfortunately, im dying . Im 36 but have experienced some wonderful.things. YOU can decide too.

 

[dihgdsoigd]

you need trauma counselling and a support network.

you need to explain her behaviors and how it affects you, maybe get a family social worker to mediate the peace.

if still no peace then cut them out since its toxic for you.

im sorry this happened to you.

you can still have a good life , you didnt deserve this.

be better than them and show the world how good you are and find the good people.
you can do this friend.

I just started counseling with a social worker who deals with domestic abuse and trauma but I don't think I can make it through. I can't cut her out of life completely...they still pay for car insurance and her and my brother have threatened to ruin my life. My life will not be good. I know this. I just want it to end. Every day is just a horrible struggle and I can't deal with the pain anymore.

you need trauma counselling and a support network.

you need to explain her behaviors and how it affects you, maybe get a family social worker to mediate the peace.

if still no peace then cut them out since its toxic for you.

im sorry this happened to you.

you can still have a good life , you didnt deserve this.

be better than them and show the world how good you are and find the good people.
you can do this friend.

She also only lives 15 minutes away from me and knows where I live and work and how much I earn.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

How are you "forced" to keep in contact with her? Is it because of some kind of guilt you have? Absent that, and if no gun is being held to your head, then you can't be forced to be in contact with anyone you don't want to be.

 

[dihgdsoigd]

How are you "forced" to keep in contact with her? Is it because of some kind of guilt you have? Absent that, and if no gun is being held to your head, then you can't be forced to be in contact with anyone you don't want to be.

Family knows where I live, work, and has threatened to destroy my life.

 

[yabuki77]

Family knows where I live, work, and has threatened to destroy my life.

How can they destroy your life? You moved out, that is the hardest part. They probably can't do anything to you that hasn't already been done. And if they actually do have the ability to destroy your life, then just play along until you're in a position where you're financially or emotionally stable enough to cut them off for good. If you make that your goal it will happen eventually. If you think you could be in danger since they know your address then contact the police first, and maybe email your employer since they know where you work.

 

[dihgdsoigd]

How can they destroy your life? You moved out, that is the hardest part. They probably can't do anything to you that hasn't already been done. And if they actually do have the ability to destroy your life, then just play along until you're in a position where you're financially or emotionally stable enough to cut them off for good. If you make that your goal it will happen eventually. If you think you could be in danger since they know your address then contact the police first, and maybe email your employer since they know where you work.

I just feel like everything is going to fall apart. They are not so stable themselves. I just can't handle this situation anymore.

How can they destroy your life? You moved out, that is the hardest part. They probably can't do anything to you that hasn't already been done. And if they actually do have the ability to destroy your life, then just play along until you're in a position where you're financially or emotionally stable enough to cut them off for good. If you make that your goal it will happen eventually. If you think you could be in danger since they know your address then contact the police first, and maybe email your employer since they know where you work.

I can't keep on living in fear, pain, and torture like this, and it is getting harder and harder every day to function.
I have wanted to die due to them since 12. I am 28 now. I was severely isolated, abused, manipulated, controlled. Still am.

 

[yabuki77]

I just feel like everything is going to fall apart. They are not so stable themselves. I just can't handle this situation anymore.

I can't keep on living in fear, pain, and torture like this, and it is getting harder and harder every day to function.

It's okay, I understand how you feel. My life has been so awful recently that I've spent the past 2 days laying in bed paralyzed in fear and i've lost pretty much everything. I can barely function either, you've got a job so you're better off then I am actually at least in that regard. You only have one life, and your parents robbed you of a good life regardless of what happens but don't give up! My life has pretty much been constant traumatic events and even though I've accepted that I probably won't be happy, try to assess if it's better being unhappy or having to kill yourself and dealing with survival instinct. I've attempted suicide many times and for me it's so bad that being alive is slightly preferable since it's so agonizing losing everything I'm familiar with. If you want to live, at least for now, then do everything you can to fight for a better future for yourself and try to think about the long term. Even if you fully intend on dying then do the same since as i can attest it is very, very hard to die by your own hands and you might be here for a while. Even if everything falls apart at least you can say that you tried.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Family knows where I live, work, and has threatened to destroy my life.

Then move far away. New job. Then threaten to destroy theirs and do it.

 

[dihgdsoigd]

It's okay, I understand how you feel. My life has been so awful recently that I've spent the past 2 days laying in bed paralyzed in fear and i've lost pretty much everything. I can barely function either, you've got a job so you're better off then I am actually at least in that regard. You only have one life, and your parents robbed you of a good life regardless of what happens but don't give up! My life has pretty much been constant traumatic events and even though I've accepted that I probably won't be happy, try to assess if it's better being unhappy or having to kill yourself and dealing with survival instinct. I've attempted suicide many times and for me it's so bad that being alive is slightly preferable since it's so agonizing losing everything I'm familiar with. If you want to live, at least for now, then do everything you can to fight for a better future for yourself and try to think about the long term. Even if you fully intend on dying then do the same since as i can attest it is very, very hard to die by your own hands and you might be here for a while. Even if everything falls apart at least you can say that you tried.

Thank you for the kind words.I am so sorry for what you have been through.

Then move far away. New job. Then threaten to destroy theirs and do it.

I just started a new job and spent a lot of money to move. I will see what happens, I guess. But just in case...I want to be prepared.