Story My Steps before riding the BUS

[Its911]

10-Random Act of Kindness- DONE
9-Forgive someone- DONE
8-Tell the WHOLE truth to someone- DONE
7-Have my favourite food- DONE
6-Party like its the 80's- DONE
5-Put my affairs in order- DONE
4-Explain to Close friend why im CTB- DONE
3-See my Daughter one last time---
2-Tell a close family member why---
1-Ride the bus, sit back and rest----


I think we should all have a process just to make sure that everything is as it should be, and that we are at peace with ourselfs, this one is mine and im almost done. Soon ill be able to rest and put my mind and body at ease for good. It has been a wonderful journey filled with laughter and great moments but beneath it all its just been a constant struggle mentally and physically, i hope my parents and my daughter will one day understand my choice and at least accept it or forgive me. It has been a constant up-hill battle just trying to hide the ture emotions i felt or lacked. I hope theres some peace of mind waiting at the other side, if there is one...

 

[Meretlein]

I always like the threads you make, it will be sad to see you go. Have a peaceful trip. My plans before offing myself are-
1. Gather all the old photos and videos of myself
2. Gather all recordings of the songs I have sung and sing one last one
3. List my best memories
4. Write an apology note to my family and friends

 

[Its911]

I always like the threads you make, it will be sad to see you go. Have a peaceful trip. My plans before offing myself are-
1. Gather all the old photos and videos of myself
2. Gather all recordings of the songs I have sung and sing one last one
3. List my best memories
4. Write an apology note to my family and friends

Before i go i would like to hear one of your songs from one tourtred soul to another maybe we can find solace in knowing that we are not alone in this our final endeavour. I truly hope that final step on the bus leads to peace and not condemnation. We have gone already through too much to be burdened with more. Thank you for your words, i too hope you find peace.

 

[Meretlein]

Before i go i would like to hear one of your songs from one tourtred soul to another maybe we can find solace in knowing that we are not alone in this our final endeavour. I truly hope that final step on the bus leads to peace and not condemnation. We have gone already through too much to be burdened with more. Thank you for your words, i too hope you find peace.

I will send you one before you go.

 

[kwalah]

I don't have a list or steps planned out yet, or if I will, I dunno. I just wanted to say I find the idea very sweet.

 

[Its911]

I will send you one before you go.

I will be sure to have it at the top of my Field-Trip list. It is a shame so many beautiful people end up here. Just a shame. This world has rejected us, labeled us misfits of society, the weak, the ill, yet they have no clue what they loose here. So many beautiful people. Just a shame.

 

[Meretlein]

I will be sure to have it at the top of my Field-Trip list. It is a shame so many beautiful people end up here. Just a shame. This world has rejected us, labeled us misfits of society, the weak, the ill, yet they have no clue what they loose here. So many beautiful people. Just a shame.

There is this famous suicide quote comparing suicidal people to those who jumping out of a burning building. Society's attitude towards suicidal people is horrible. Instead of putting out the fire, they will bar the windows and force you to endure the agony of the flames. Society sees us like a small child who does not know whats good for them.

I also try to realize that some of the reasons I am here are my own doing and not society's fault. However we have all been cruel and stupid at times but I don't think anyone here deserves to pick between death and a lifetime of suffering.

 

[Its911]

There is this famous suicide quote comparing suicidal people to those who jumping out of a burning building. Society's attitude towards suicidal people is horrible. Instead of putting out the fire, they will bar the windows and force you to endure the agony of the flames. Society sees us like a small child who does not know whats good for them.

I also try to realize that some of the reasons I am here are my own doing and not society's fault. However we have all been cruel and stupid at times but I don't think anyone here deserves to pick between death and a lifetime of suffering.

Indeed, Very well said.

P.s love that quote very good analogy.

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

There is this famous suicide quote comparing suicidal people to those who jumping out of a burning building. Society's attitude towards suicidal people is horrible. Instead of putting out the fire, they will bar the windows and force you to endure the agony of the flames. Society sees us like a small child who does not know whats good for them.

"The so-called 'psychotically depressed' person who tries to kill herself doesn't do so out of quote 'hopelessness' or any abstract conviction that life's assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling 'Don't!' and 'Hang on!', can understand the jump. Not really. You'd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."--David Foster Wallace

 

[Its911]

@ShadowOfTheDay A million thank you's!!!!

 

[JohnUK]

There is this famous suicide quote comparing suicidal people to those who jumping out of a burning building. Society's attitude towards suicidal people is horrible. Instead of putting out the fire, they will bar the windows and force you to endure the agony of the flames. Society sees us like a small child who does not know whats good for them.

I also try to realize that some of the reasons I am here are my own doing and not society's fault. However we have all been cruel and stupid at times but I don't think anyone here deserves to pick between death and a lifetime of suffering.

I agree also. Too many pro life pages than pro choice. Pro suicide ones are basically undetectable, barred or shut down / blocked or trolls invade

 

[Meretlein]

I agree also. Too many pro life pages than pro choice. Pro suicide ones are basically undetectable, barred or shut down / blocked or trolls invade

I'm worried that this site will get to big and might get invaded by trolls, nembutal scammers, and pro lifers.

 

[Lady black]

I´m sure there are many pro lifers here. Trolls where also here but hey where deleted soon.

 

[Meretlein]

I´m sure there are many pro lifers here. Trolls where also herem but hey where deleted soon.

I haven't spotted one yet.

 

[Lady black]

It´s better not to spot a pro lifer, hope I will never do so. But I´m sure they are here like in any other suicide forum

 

[JohnUK]

I'm worried that this site will get to big and might get invaded by trolls, nembutal scammers, and pro lifers.

Think I have seen 2 or 3 pro lifers wandering around here. I think ones from near me in the UK.

 

[Its911]

Think I have seen 2 or 3 pro lifers wandering around here. I think ones from near me in the UK.

Only in death will i ever find peace, because even in the pursuit i am haunted.

 

[JohnUK]

My steps are before I ctb

Tidy up house as it's always a tip
Clean car up . Again it's always a tip as mainly a work car
Write a note to certain people.
Get my method certain. Don't know weather to jump or CO
Last of all ctb.

 

[JohnUK]

Only in death will i ever find peace, because even in the pursuit i am haunted.

Death is better than living 100%

 

[Its911]

My steps are before I ctb

Tidy up house as it's always a tip
Clean car up . Again it's always a tip as mainly a work car
Write a note to certain people.
Get my method certain. Don't know weather to jump or CO
Last of all ctb.

If i may be so bold. I would suggest CO, its easier on the family left behind, and jumping might traumatize spectators(peds walking by; kids) jumping also has a higher rate of failure. CO with Valium to help induce the sleep is my suggestion.

 

[JohnUK]

If i may be so bold. I would suggest CO, its easier on the family left behind, and jumping might traumatize spectators(peds walking by; kids) jumping also has a higher rate of failure. CO with Valium to help induce the sleep is my suggestion.

I live about 20 miles from a cliff called Beachy Head. Failure there is not there really as the highest point of the cliff is 531ft.

 

[Its911]

I live about 20 miles from a cliff called Beachy Head. Failure there is not there really as the highest point of the cliff is 531ft.

I retract my statement of failure. What about a burial?

 

[JohnUK]

Definitely a cremation. Way my life is just turn me to dust and throw me away lol

What about yourself when you ctb

 

[3cookies]

My steps are:
Decide on method:between N & SN
Finish writing letters to my kids for them to open as things happen in their lives: almost done
Write suicide note explaining why to my mom: done
prepurchase the tree I will become: done
make sure my kids don't go to their "dad":finishing with lawyer
write out important info for my mom (passwords etc):done
plan memorial service: done
dispose of embarrassing things: done
one last fun happy day with kids:
CTB

 

[3cookies]

There is this famous suicide quote comparing suicidal people to those who jumping out of a burning building. Society's attitude towards suicidal people is horrible. Instead of putting out the fire, they will bar the windows and force you to endure the agony of the flames. Society sees us like a small child who does not know whats good for them.

I also try to realize that some of the reasons I am here are my own doing and not society's fault. However we have all been cruel and stupid at times but I don't think anyone here deserves to pick between death and a lifetime of suffering.

I love this quote! Pro-lifers only care that you keep breathing. Not about how terrible your life is, or how much a person suffers. As long as we are breathing that's all that matters.

 

[Its911]

Definitely a cremation. Way my life is just turn me to dust and throw me away lol

What about yourself when you ctb

I honestly dont care not to sound morbid or anything but once im dead does it really matter? I would prefer cremation so that my ashes can return to the US since my living body cannot. Then again its just a desire not a want. So what ever my family decides ill be ok with it.

 

[JohnUK]

No not really lol

 

[Its911]

My steps are:
Decide on method:between N & SN
Finish writing letters to my kids for them to open as things happen in their lives: almost done
Write suicide note explaining why to my mom: done
prepurchase the tree I will become: done
make sure my kids don't go to their "dad":finishing with lawyer
write out important info for my mom (passwords etc):done
plan memorial service: done
dispose of embarrassing things: done
one last fun happy day with kids:
CTB

That sounds really nice, im going to emulate you and write letters to my daughter as she grows up. Thank you so much for sharing hope you find peace in your journey.

 

[3cookies]

That sounds really nice, im going to emulate you and write letters to my daughter as she grows up. Thank you so much for sharing hope you find peace in your journey.

I hope I say this right, but that really made me smile which rarely happens anymore . It made me feel like I still have something to offer. Thank you

 

[Its911]

I hope I say this right, but that really made me smile which rarely happens anymore . It made me feel like I still have something to offer. Thank you

Dont thank me, thank you. Without you that idea would have never come to me, and my daughter would have spent her bdays, and her first boyfriend/heartbreak/marriage without her fathers words to accompany her. So in all sincerity and all my heart thank you.