My SN CTB Plan

[stoplmp]

So, as I already have everything needed ready, I think it's time to plan how it's going to happen.


My plan starts by waiting for my parents to leave (I live with them), fasting for the morning while I'm still home, and writing a note with my location.

Then I'd pack everything needed (SN, Benzo, Painkillers, AE, some recipient for water measure, 2 cups and a small digital weight), get a water bottle and then leave.

I can't rent a hotel room as I don't have money and it would be extremely suspicious, so I'd do it at a forest far from home.
I'd tell my parents that I left to meet with some friends at a mall (won't mention their names) because of course they would be asking where I'm going and what I'm going to do, and they also would be hitting my phone with messages asking me how things are going.

Meanwhile, I'd be at the subway crossing the whole city, as it's the fastest way to go from a point to another where I live, and then would get a bus or an Uber to go to the forest.

Once I reached the forest, I'd start taking the painkillers and AE (counting time as in Vizzy's guide), turn off my phone and search for a good/hidden place to CTB. Once I found it, I'd make the mixture of SN with 2 cups of 50ml water, and take it.

Considering the fact that my parents take time to get home and that I would leave as soon as they left, I'd have a good gap for the SN action, and once they arrived home they would see my note with the location, and they would call the police.

As they are home and it's far away from the forest, the police would find me first as they would have my location, and once they found me I'd have been gone already.


I don't know if this sounds too crazy or complicated, but it's the best plan that I can think of for now. I'm open for suggestions or error gaps ("this could go wrong because of that").

I also know that planning a "hidden" CTB is indeed a complicated thing, as everything has to go right, and one simple thing could blow your plan and expose your real intentions. That's why I'm open for suggestions.


TLDR: pack everything, do it at a forest, leave note with location so family reports police first and they find me before family




I guess now it's time to search for forests (there's a lot of them around my city) and visit some places.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

My only concern would be the time between you taking the SN and being found. How many hours do you think it would be?

 

[bambibambam]

My only concern would be the time between you taking the SN and being found. How many hours do you think it would be?

in the peaceful pill handbook it says that death occurs 40 minutes after ingesting, since op says they'll be far away they will most likely be found dead i think.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

So, as I already have everything needed ready, I think it's time to plan how it's going to happen.


My plan starts by waiting for my parents to leave (I live with them), fasting for the morning while I'm still home, and writing a note with my location.

Then I'd pack everything needed (SN, Benzo, Painkillers, AE, some recipient for water measure, 2 cups and a small digital weight), get a water bottle and then leave.

I can't rent a hotel room as I don't have money and it would be extremely suspicious, so I'd do it at a forest far from home.
I'd tell my parents that I left to meet with some friends at a mall (won't mention their names) because of course they would be asking where I'm going and what I'm going to do, and they also would be hitting my phone with messages asking me how things are going.

Meanwhile, I'd be at the subway crossing the whole city, as it's the fastest way to go from a point to another where I live, and then would get a bus or an Uber to go to the forest.

Once I reached the forest, I'd start taking the painkillers and AE (counting time as in Vizzy's guide), turn off my phone and search for a good/hidden place to CTB. Once I found it, I'd make the mixture of SN with 2 cups of 50ml water, and take it.

Considering the fact that my parents take time to get home and that I would leave as soon as they left, I'd have a good gap for the SN action, and once they arrived home they would see my note with the location, and they would call the police.

As they are home and it's far away from the forest, the police would find me first as they would have my location, and once they found me I'd have been gone already.


I don't know if this sounds too crazy or complicated, but it's the best plan that I can think of for now. I'm open for suggestions or error gaps ("this could go wrong because of that").

I also know that planning a "hidden" CTB is indeed a complicated thing, as everything has to go right, and one simple thing could blow your plan and expose your real intentions. That's why I'm open for suggestions.


TLDR: pack everything, do it at a forest, leave note with location so family reports police first and they find me before family




I guess now it's time to search for forests (there's a lot of them around my city) and visit some places.

Why leave a note with the location? Why not just wait to be found?

 

[nafazs1]

Hi,
I don't know you personally, and I don't know about your life and everything that led up to this moment. I didn't have an account before, but reading your post made me want to reach out to you. Look, talking you out of it might be looked down upon by other readers, but it sounds like you have parents whom you love and don't want to hurt--which is why you're going through such lengths for them to not see your body. But don't you think it'll hurt them just as much to know that their child is not only dead but that they died alone in a forest? The friends that you're lying to them about seeing will also miss you. Again, I don't know your story; it just sounds to me like you have people around you whom you love so much that you do not want to see them in pain. I also am not 100% familiar with the etiquette of this website, so if talking someone out of their plans is not allowed then feel free to report this.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

in the peaceful pill handbook it says that death occurs 40 minutes after ingesting, since op says they'll be far away they will most likely be found dead i think.

I would take the 40 minutes with a grain of salt, it could be that some really die after 40 minutes but I recall a recent attempt from a user. They were found and I would bet that the antidote was administered much later than 40 minutes after ingestion. Imo there's plenty of time to be rescued, if being found too early.

 

[EyesOfNight]

I just remembered something important. Make sure to stay warm. I don't know what the weather will be like where you are but cold can slow down the metabolism of the body.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Hi,
I don't know you personally, and I don't know about your life and everything that led up to this moment. I didn't have an account before, but reading your post made me want to reach out to you. Look, talking you out of it might be looked down upon by other readers, but it sounds like you have parents whom you love and don't want to hurt--which is why you're going through such lengths for them to not see your body. But don't you think it'll hurt them just as much to know that their child is not only dead but that they died alone in a forest? The friends that you're lying to them about seeing will also miss you. Again, I don't know your story; it just sounds to me like you have people around you whom you love so much that you do not want to see them in pain. I also am not 100% familiar with the etiquette of this website, so if talking someone out of their plans is not allowed then feel free to report this.

I know you're a new user so I won't bite your head off, but you're right that comments like this are against site etiquette. We respect the decisions that users make regarding their own lives, regardless of their circumstances. It is not our place to make assumptions about their familial dynamics or to invoke the pain of family members to cause feelings of guilt. Also, if the OP is going through all this effort to plan their CTB well, then presumably they have already taken all this into account.

 

[Goku Black]

Hi,
I don't know you personally, and I don't know about your life and everything that led up to this moment. I didn't have an account before, but reading your post made me want to reach out to you. Look, talking you out of it might be looked down upon by other readers, but it sounds like you have parents whom you love and don't want to hurt--which is why you're going through such lengths for them to not see your body. But don't you think it'll hurt them just as much to know that their child is not only dead but that they died alone in a forest? The friends that you're lying to them about seeing will also miss you. Again, I don't know your story; it just sounds to me like you have people around you whom you love so much that you do not want to see them in pain. I also am not 100% familiar with the etiquette of this website, so if talking someone out of their plans is not allowed then feel free to report this.

Hi, welcome to the forum, as much as I understand what it is you are trying to convey to the op from a place of empathy, I'd like just understand the following.

Trying to talk people out of their ctb for the sake of "saving them" when not their circumstances would generally be frowned upon because sasu is one of the few places that respects autonomy and choice and no one knows what others are going through.

There is however always space for people to support each other with the consent of the other person and nothing wrong with wanting to check their decision has probably been thought out as anyone should be well prepared mentally for something like this.

Just remember that this site is pro-choice and that if you have joined to express aim of attempting to stop people going through with their plans to ctb then this forum will not be the right place for you.

 

[rozeske]

Checking out the location and seeing how long it takes to reach from your home is important. You should also consider any unforseen chance your parents or anyone else coming home earlier than you planned.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck in your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[stoplmp]

My only concern would be the time between you taking the SN and being found. How many hours do you think it would be?

in the peaceful pill handbook it says that death occurs 40 minutes after ingesting, since op says they'll be far away they will most likely be found dead i think.

Until I take the SN, I still would have my phone on and still would be communicating, so nobody would suspect anything, only when they start sending messages and I don't answer they would start to search for me, and that's the exact time they would see the note with the location, and according to the time it takes for me to get to the nearest forest, I would have a good time gap to do it.

Also, it's 40 minutes TO 4 hours, 40 minutes usually is the "starting" time. That's why I need to have a good time gap

Why leave a note with the location? Why not just wait to be found?

Not leaving a note with the location would cause more pain to my family as they would think I got kidnapped/disappeared, and they would involve everything possible to search for me, even the media/news (which I do NOT want for obvious reasons), if in the exact moment they start searching they find the note with the location, only police would be needed.

I just remembered something important. Make sure to stay warm. I don't know what the weather will be like where you are but cold can slow down the metabolism of the body.

Nice catch, but I don't have to worry about this here. I live in a tropical country, always hot. One less thing to worry about I guess

 

[bookgirl]

I hope you find the peace you are looking for

 

[stoplmp]

Checking out the location and seeing how long it takes to reach from your home is important. You should also consider any unforseen chance your parents or anyone else coming home earlier than you planned.

Yes, that's why the only moment I will turn off my phone will be when I start the procedure/take the SN. Until there, they will have contact with me and will believe I am safe, so there won't be any reason for them to be suspicious of something, as I also have met with friends at the mall a lot of times

Hi,
I don't know you personally, and I don't know about your life and everything that led up to this moment. I didn't have an account before, but reading your post made me want to reach out to you. Look, talking you out of it might be looked down upon by other readers, but it sounds like you have parents whom you love and don't want to hurt--which is why you're going through such lengths for them to not see your body. But don't you think it'll hurt them just as much to know that their child is not only dead but that they died alone in a forest? The friends that you're lying to them about seeing will also miss you. Again, I don't know your story; it just sounds to me like you have people around you whom you love so much that you do not want to see them in pain. I also am not 100% familiar with the etiquette of this website, so if talking someone out of their plans is not allowed then feel free to report this.

It's not "love and don't want to hurt", it's the classic "he's our depressive son and if he commits suicide we'll get into legal trouble", + they definitely would make me go to the psych ward (again) if they found out about my CTB plan. Same thing for "friends". There's no such thing as love with humans, it's just them looking for their own asses.

I already have talked myself out of this 4 years ago. I voluntarily admitted myself to the psych ward. Years passed and I'm still at the same shit thanks to mental disorders, shit economy, frustrations, not agreeing with society and how the world works and all this shit no one wants to hear about. Only more medications and medications throughout these years.

If I know I won't be able to be anyone or reach anything that I want, I better just finish all this shit show that life is, even more knowing that all this will reach an end someday.

 

[mapleboy]

I hope you're able to find the peace you're looking for, and I wish you the best of luck <3

 

[Esokabat]

I know you're a new user so I won't bite your head off, but you're right that comments like this are against site etiquette. We respect the decisions that users make regarding their own lives, regardless of their circumstances. It is not our place to make assumptions about their familial dynamics or to invoke the pain of family members to cause feelings of guilt. Also, if the OP is going through all this effort to plan their CTB well, then presumably they have already taken all this into account.

I am glad that occasionally people make comments questioning motives when people in their late teens and early 20s plan to CTB. On the partner thread, it is absolutely astounding how many late teens and early 20s plant to CTB, still living with parents, their life barely started, some want to CTB as their girlfriend/boyfriend have left them. I personally knew people who lived trauma, drugs, hospitalization, drama, prostitution, abandonment, homelessness, just crazy life stories, and turned it completely around in their 30s against all odds. I mean our brains develop until about age 25. Any decision made prior to that point is made with a not yet fully developed brain. I am not and will not question anyone as I am glad this site exists, but to see so many late teens and early 20s on this website is astounding to me. It seems to me that this generation can fall into a life deep in the computer sitting in their rooms for hours and honestly this would make anyone mentally ill. And of course during Covid even school was on the computer for them so it just made things worse, I mean even healthy people had some depressive periods during Covid, just from the lack of human connection. So I personally welcome when occasionally someone questions these young people, although if long-term mental illness can be established, then it is more understandable. But I am also reading stories of "my girlfriend left me", and no mentally stable adult brain would CTB for this and I am sure that 10,years from now, they would also laugh at the idea of CTB due to a breakup. In this forum, everyone is treated equally, the 18,years old that is in a hysterical depression for a breakup feeling immensely sorry for themselves as most teenagers do, and the 50 year old with chronic pain and terminal illness. Everybody is equal here. Which has good sides but also bad sides

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I am glad that occasionally people make comments questioning motives when people in their late teens and early 20s plan to CTB. On the partner thread, it is absolutely astounding how many late teens and early 20s plant to CTB, still living with parents, their life barely started, some want to CTB as their girlfriend/boyfriend have left them. I personally knew people who lived trauma, drugs, hospitalization, drama, prostitution, abandonment, homelessness, just crazy life stories, and turned it completely around in their 30s against all odds. I mean our brains develop until about age 25. Any decision made prior to that point is made with a not yet fully developed brain. I am not and will not question anyone as I am glad this site exists, but to see so many late teens and early 20s on this website is astounding to me. It seems to me that this generation can fall into a life deep in the computer sitting in their rooms for hours and honestly this would make anyone mentally ill. And of course during Covid even school was on the computer for them so it just made things worse, I mean even healthy people had some depressive periods during Covid, just from the lack of human connection. So I personally welcome when occasionally someone questions these young people, although if long-term mental illness can be established, then it is more understandable. But I am also reading stories of "my girlfriend left me", and no mentally stable adult brain would CTB for this and I am sure that 10,years from now, they would also laugh at the idea of CTB due to a breakup. In this forum, everyone is treated equally, the 18,years old that is in a hysterical depression for a breakup feeling immensely sorry for themselves as most teenagers do, and the 50 year old with chronic pain and terminal illness. Everybody is equal here. Which has good sides but also bad sides

Personally I don't think there is such thing as a bad reason to CTB because life is not inherently valuable, so there is no reason to willingly put yourself through suffering when you have a way out, regardless of whether the source of suffering can be eventually resolved or not. No one has an obligation to "start" a life that was forcibly imposed upon them. Besides, the reason why you see so many late teens and early 20s on this site is probably in large part due to selection bias, ie. this demographic is more likely to seek out and find a forum like this in the first place.

And those people who "turned their lives around"? They went through a hell of a lot of suffering before getting there, and some of us have concluded that it's simply not worth enduring when compared to eternal peaceful nonexistence.

I also don't think it's true that "no mentally stable adult brain would CTB" due to a breakup. One of the reasons why we observe the highest suicide rates among people in their 50s is due to breakups/divorces. The impact of such events on someone's life, regardless of their age, should not be trivialized.

Until I take the SN, I still would have my phone on and still would be communicating, so nobody would suspect anything, only when they start sending messages and I don't answer they would start to search for me, and that's the exact time they would see the note with the location, and according to the time it takes for me to get to the nearest forest, I would have a good time gap to do it.

Also, it's 40 minutes TO 4 hours, 40 minutes usually is the "starting" time. That's why I need to have a good time gap

Sounds like you've given a lot of thought to this, boa sorte.

 

[Esokabat]

Personally I don't think there is such thing as a bad reason to CTB because life is not inherently valuable, so there is no reason to willingly put yourself through suffering when you have a way out, regardless of whether the source of suffering can be eventually resolved or not. No one has an obligation to "start" a life that was forcibly imposed upon them. Besides, the reason why you see so many late teens and early 20s on this site is probably in large part due to selection bias, ie. this demographic is more likely to seek out and find a forum like this in the first place.

And those people who "turned their lives around"? They went through a hell of a lot of suffering before getting there, and some of us have concluded that it's simply not worth enduring when compared to eternal peaceful nonexistence.

I also don't think it's true that "no mentally stable adult brain would CTB" due to a breakup. One of the reasons why we observe the highest suicide rates among people in their 50s is due to breakups/divorces. The impact of such events on someone's life, regardless of their age, should not be trivialized.



Sounds like you've given a lot of thought to this, boa sorte.

I don't agree and I have a lot of reasons why, some of them I know for a fact, as factual knowledge, but I will not share it with you as I think you have reached the level of conviction in your belief that no amount of written or spoken word can convince you otherwise. When people reach this level of conviction, dialogue no longer serves, everything becomes an echo chamber. If you plan to CTB soon, you will know the truth soon enough at the time of death and you will be quite surprised. But I don't want to assume that you are planning CTB soon as I don't know, but whenever death comes, the surprise will be at nuclear level. And yes, I know that you don't believe me, and I don't expect you to. We are all free to believe whatever our brain can conjure.

 

[stoplmp]

Quick update: I found the place that I'd like to do this. I will see if I can go there this week so I can have a look around and see if it's good enough.

 

[botanist_dude]

Why leave a note with the location? Why not just wait to be found?

I think OP is concerned they could never be found. The pressure of having a missing loved one is arguably worse than anything else including suicide grief

 

[Nikitatos]

There's nothing suspicious about a hotel room. I bet you could sell a few things to come up with the money......or borrow it from a friend.

If you are committed to the woods, I'd scout the location now so you're confident when you want to do it. You don't want to be improvising and figuring things out the day of.

 

[botanist_dude]

May you find peace. And kudos to you for being so educated even on this. Finding a forest far away sounds nice and polite. I wish you freedom and good luck

 

[stoplmp]

There's nothing suspicious about a hotel room. I bet you could sell a few things to come up with the money......or borrow it from a friend.

If you are committed to the woods, I'd scout the location now so you're confident when you want to do it. You don't want to be improvising and figuring things out the day of.

The issue here isn't even the money, it's literally how weird/suspicious it would be.

I live with my parents and I already have been admitted to the mental hospital, they know everything about this as they have been following me through the treatment.


They watch most of my steps, even more as I live with them. It would be absolutely impossible to get a hotel room out of absolute nowhere without any reason or explanation that actually would make sense. Just the thought of me sleeping out of my house for them would already be weird as I don't have any reason to do so.

The best I could do would be getting a hotel room for the day instead of the night, but yet I would need to get the money for this, and earning this money would cost me even more time and effort, to the point that I probably would chicken out on the middle of the process.


The forest is near to me, easy access and, of course, it's free.

Not that the forest would be better, a hotel room of course would be better, but it's basically impossible for me to get one unfortunately, so we go with what we have.

 

[Nikitatos]

The issue here isn't even the money, it's literally how weird/suspicious it would be.

I live with my parents and I already have been admitted to the mental hospital, they know everything about this as they have been following me through the treatment.


They watch most of my steps, even more as I live with them. It would be absolutely impossible to get a hotel room out of absolute nowhere without any reason or explanation that actually would make sense. Just the thought of me sleeping out of my house for them would already be weird as I don't have any reason to do so.

The best I could do would be getting a hotel room for the day instead of the night, but yet I would need to get the money for this, and earning this money would cost me even more time and effort, to the point that I probably would chicken out on the middle of the process.


The forest is near to me, easy access and, of course, it's free.

Not that the forest would be better, a hotel room of course would be better, but it's basically impossible for me to get one unfortunately, so we go with what we have.

Your parents don't have to know about the hotel room. You could tell them you're going out with friends and then check into a hotel. You can check-in at like 3pm. You can usually find a hotel room for less than $100 (depending on where you live).

Don't you have anything of value that you could sell? If you're a young person, you could literally go on streets and ask people for money and get $100 pretty easily. People who sit at traffic lights with a jar make $20/hour with no effort.

Why are you so sad?

 

[stoplmp]

Time Chart:

1 hour	1g Paracetamol
45 minutes before drinking SN	3 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg in total)
30 minutes before drinking SN	Benzo
	SN drink

 

[final_countdown12]

Time Chart:

1 hour	1g Paracetamol
45 minutes before drinking SN	3 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg in total)
30 minutes before drinking SN	Benzo
	SN drink

Pelo PPH 2023 o benzo tem que ser tomado logo em seguida do SN, nao? Vc esta tomando o benzo 30 min antes.
Segue protocolo que printei do post do Vizzy/Bible Sn guide. É o mesmo protocolo do PPH.



also Dont forget to make a previous "technical visit/inspection" in the place you want to CTB.
In your final day, you dont want to solve any problem or deal with anything unexpected, except focusing on just drinking SN and nothing more.
The more you have to "think" in your final day, the more anxious you get and then SI will kick in. So prepare eveything in detail beforehand.

Boa sorte, amigo.

 

[burglarlydante]

I've planned to CTB on SN too, btw I've been considering more charcoal burning carbon monoxide

 

[razahcareca27]

Pelo PPH 2023 o benzo tem que ser tomado logo em seguida do SN, nao? Vc esta tomando o benzo 30 min antes.
Segue protocolo que printei do post do Vizzy/Bible Sn guide. É o mesmo protocolo do PPH.

se forem benzos de reação imediata e provavelmente esmagados, sim. mas sendo um benzo que demorar um pouco para fazer início, é melhor que seja antes.

 

[final_countdown12]

se forem benzos de reação imediata e provavelmente esmagados, sim. mas sendo um benzo que demorar um pouco para fazer início, é melhor que seja antes.

Sim vale a pena o amigo @stoplmp analisar isso entao baseado no benzo dele. Qual seria, amigo?

 

[stoplmp]

Pelo PPH 2023 o benzo tem que ser tomado logo em seguida do SN, nao? Vc esta tomando o benzo 30 min antes.
Segue protocolo que printei do post do Vizzy/Bible Sn guide. É o mesmo protocolo do PPH.

Eu vou usar clonazepam, eu já testei ele em alta dosagem e demora mais ou menos 30 minutos para fazer efeito em mim. Se eu tomar depois de tomar o SN, não irá fazer efeito a tempo e a chance de eu entrar em desespero é alta, vou tomar ele antes justamente pra evitar de ficar muito ansioso/SI bater na porta.

also Dont forget to make a previous "technical visit/inspection" in the place you want to CTB.
In your final day, you dont want to solve any problem or deal with anything unexpected, except focusing on just drinking SN and nothing more.
The more you have to "think" in your final day, the more anxious you get and then SI will kick in. So prepare eveything in detail beforehand.

Boa sorte, amigo.

Eu estou planejando o seguinte, vou com tudo já arrumado no dia pra visitar o lugar, se for bom o suficiente, como já vou estar lá e preparado, já vou começar o procedimento. Se não for bom o suficiente, eu pauso o procedimento. Até porque quando eu chegar só vou ter feito fasting (jejum).