
DobryDen
Member
- Jul 12, 2021
- 27
I am going to start a walk through. My plan is to stand in the ocean with weight on my body. Blow my head off, but should my body be alive Ill sink in the water and drown. (My aunt taught me that lesson- ensure your death with double action suicide) So tomorrow, I go to hear a friend speak then I go to the beach with my pistol and chest weights. I will get used to being there. maybe get in the water.
I am sure I will need to take some Xanax to reduce the fear on the night I actually do it. But I do not think Ill take the Xanax on the walk-through/practice run because I don't want to drive home on Xanax. I suppose I could take an Uber but I get loopy on Xanax and it might be a problem being loopy with a gun. Not worried I'll use it on anyone but myself, but others wouldn't appreciate knowing I had one.
What do you think? Input? Ideas? Guidance? Wisdom?
I just want to go. I don't feel sorry for myself any longer. I am ready to go.
I am sure I will need to take some Xanax to reduce the fear on the night I actually do it. But I do not think Ill take the Xanax on the walk-through/practice run because I don't want to drive home on Xanax. I suppose I could take an Uber but I get loopy on Xanax and it might be a problem being loopy with a gun. Not worried I'll use it on anyone but myself, but others wouldn't appreciate knowing I had one.
What do you think? Input? Ideas? Guidance? Wisdom?
I just want to go. I don't feel sorry for myself any longer. I am ready to go.