1 year from now
Hey guys I feel the need to put this out there. I don't really know what to live for anymore. I used to be able to bully myself away from suicide by calling it weak willed and the easy way and extremely selfish. That doesn't work anymore.
I know my family would bend over backwards to stop me so i don't tell them anything. They don't really matter to me in that sense. I guess I really was closest my father but since he's cut off us I don't really know. I have a girl in my life but i don't think there's anything of substance there. I'm really afraid though so I just really can't make a permanent decision.
So I made a promise to myself. One way or another I'm gonna do something about my life. I get 1 year to decide on between living or catching. During this I'll make every effort to improve myself. I'm working out, I got a job, trying in school and I'm eating better. If I feel the same then that's that and goodbye to all. If I stuck to this and anything is better then I'll wait another year.
I've already decided on a spot if I break my promise. Funnily enough it's where my dad used to take me fishing so it's sort of a fuck you to him. I think I'll write the note eventually but I feel like I should write individual ones for each of my family members. - JUP
Hey guys I feel the need to put this out there. I don't really know what to live for anymore. I used to be able to bully myself away from suicide by calling it weak willed and the easy way and extremely selfish. That doesn't work anymore.
I know my family would bend over backwards to stop me so i don't tell them anything. They don't really matter to me in that sense. I guess I really was closest my father but since he's cut off us I don't really know. I have a girl in my life but i don't think there's anything of substance there. I'm really afraid though so I just really can't make a permanent decision.
So I made a promise to myself. One way or another I'm gonna do something about my life. I get 1 year to decide on between living or catching. During this I'll make every effort to improve myself. I'm working out, I got a job, trying in school and I'm eating better. If I feel the same then that's that and goodbye to all. If I stuck to this and anything is better then I'll wait another year.
I've already decided on a spot if I break my promise. Funnily enough it's where my dad used to take me fishing so it's sort of a fuck you to him. I think I'll write the note eventually but I feel like I should write individual ones for each of my family members. - JUP
