My plan in detail

[BipolarGuy]

So my plan in detail, or at least as far as I have thought, is this:

- Find a source to obtain 'N'.
I don't trust C as the purity of his product has been drawn into serious question.
I also don't want to buy from A because he has a reputation for ghosting people, plus in any case I don't fancy drinking a solution designed for injection - absolutely disgusting!

- I may buy SN too.
It can be purchased very cheaply and easily.
I would only plan on taking a little bit, perhaps just to speed things up, or 'make sure'.
2 things concern me though:
1. headaches and discomfort that I wouldn't otherwise have
2. Increased possibility of vomiting, possibly throwing the entire plan out the window

- While waiting for delivery:
1. Clean my place and start packing, to make it slightly easier for whoever empties my place
2. Draft an e-mail to individuals and organisations who would need to know of my death, including reference numbers etc where appropriate (passport office, DVLA, police, health service, car finance company, etc).
3. Draft a note to everybody, as my final words.
4. As far as I can, make arrangements for after I die. This includes giving the solicitor enough info to continue taking action against the NHS when I'm gone, write a cheap DIY will and register it, etc.

- I'M NOT SURE WHETHER I WILL DO THIS OR NOT.
Accessing help from the NHS has been a nightmare, it has felt like they've been playing games with my life, and so I MAY explain in my e-mail to organisations that "now it's my turn to play a game".
I'm CONSIDERING making a website on which the location of my body is given by the solutions of some extremely complicated mathematical problems.
I have a degree in maths myself, and I would construct very complicated mathematical problems spanning several areas, from differential equations to geometry, and algebra to advanced calculus and number theory.
The website wouldn't have the answers build within it either, so the police (or whoever) couldn't cheat by just going to the host and asking to be let in the back door. It would just be a website showing the problems to be solved.
The problems would also be constructed in such a way that they couldn't just be put into a computer program such as Maple and solved numerically, somebody would have to sit there and work through it manually.
If I decide to do this, I would make my way somewhere to 'do it' that I have never been before, far away from where I live. I wouldn't do it in just one journey, but use various forms of transport, change clothes, etc, and actually 'do it' somewhere where a walker wouldn't just find me randomly.

- A few days before, maybe the day before, destroy one of my laptop or phone. Probably laptop.

- On the day:
1. Wake up, shower, get dressed.
2. Post all of my ID documents to a senior police officer at station headquarters, with a note explaining who I am (birth certificate, national insurance number card, passport, driving license).
3. Leave my house, and when away from the house I would upload the note to social media, then send the e-mails I would have drafted.
4. Phone off, battery out, so it's location cannot be traced and so nobody could call me. Dispose of.
5. Go to where ever I planned to do it (e.g. by taxi - I'd make the social media posts and e-mails while in the taxi if this is the case).

 

[Thinking]

Best of luck. You seem very prepared and I wish you peace in your journey ahead.

As a side note I think the mathematical equation thing is absolutely hilarious (in the best way possible). Like, I don't know if it's necessary or realistic, but it's certainly an amazing concept.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Best of luck. You seem very prepared and I wish you peace in your journey ahead.

As a side note I think the mathematical equation thing is absolutely hilarious (in the best way possible). Like, I don't know if it's necessary or realistic, but it's certainly an amazing concept.

Oh the mathematical thing is absolutely realistic.
Buying a domain name and building a basic website simply showing maths problems is absolutely straightforward and would cost less than £50 to do.

The trick would then be to not be traced or tracked, so the problems have to be solved to find my body.

 

[Thinking]

Oh the mathematical thing is absolutely realistic.
Buying a domain name and building a basic website simply showing maths problems is absolutely straightforward and would cost less than £50 to do.

The trick would then be to not be traced or tracked, so the problems have to be solved to find my body.

Oh cool! How would you get people to know about the website? Would you send it out in the emails?

 

[BipolarGuy]

Oh cool! How would you get people to know about the website? Would you send it out in the emails?

Yep. Put it in the email to the organisations (as described in the op) and *possibly* put it in the note itself on social media.

 

[Thinking]

Yep. Put it in the email to the organisations (as described in the op) and *possibly* put it in the note itself on social media.

This is such a brilliant idea. Plus you get the added bonus of it being like something out of a sci-fi movie

 

[fat feet]

Oh the mathematical thing is absolutely realistic.
Buying a domain name and building a basic website simply showing maths problems is absolutely straightforward and would cost less than £50 to do.

The trick would then be to not be traced or tracked, so the problems have to be solved to find my body.

If I did that no one would bother to do it to find my body. LOL.

 

[BipolarGuy]

If I did that no one would bother to do it to find my body. LOL.

I suspect in any case the police would try to trace your phone, see where you've used bank cards, look at CCTV.
I'd do my best to evade all of that so they had to solve the problems.

 

[fat feet]

I suspect in any case the police would try to trace your phone, see where you've used bank cards, look at CCTV.
I'd do my best to evade all of that so they had to solve the problems.

Yes it was an expression of how no one really cares where I am. I will be right in my bed so no one will have a problem finding me.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Yes it was an expression of how no one really cares where I am. I will be right in my bed so no one will have a problem finding me.

((Hugs))

 

[fox21132113]

Best of luck. You seem very prepared and I wish you peace in your journey ahead.

As a side note I think the mathematical equation thing is absolutely hilarious (in the best way possible). Like, I don't know if it's necessary or realistic, but it's certainly an amazing concept.

I love math!

 

[the witch’s lament]

I wish you the best of luck. everybody deserves the right to exit this world however they see fit, so if intricacy is your thing then I say 'go out with a bang.' however, on a more conservative note, this just makes a difficult problem harder. I don't think anybody attempting to solve your equation will be nearly as impressed as we are here. I view it as prolonging something that you have already condemned, and leaving more to clean up after the fact. if your passion is mathematics and mystery then use that to your liking. but it is hard to imagine the undertaking of those who wish to crack the puzzle.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I wish you the best of luck. everybody deserves the right to exit this world however they see fit, so if intricacy is your thing then I say 'go out with a bang.' however, on a more conservative note, this just makes a difficult problem harder. I don't think anybody attempting to solve your equation will be nearly as impressed as we are here. I view it as prolonging something that you have already condemned, and leaving more to clean up after the fact. if your passion is mathematics and mystery then use that to your liking. but it is hard to imagine the undertaking of those who wish to crack the puzzle.

You make a good point about the mathematical problem part of it, and admittedly I have left the reasoning behind it fairly open to interpretation. The reason I would do it (IF in fact I do) is to make a point about accessing mental health support.
I rather suspect that as time goes on I just won't have the energy to construct complex maths problems which give the correct solutions to my location, but we'll see. Just a thought

 

[BPD Barbie]

- I'M NOT SURE WHETHER I WILL DO THIS OR NOT.
Accessing help from the NHS has been a nightmare, it has felt like they've been playing games with my life, and so I MAY explain in my e-mail to organisations that "now it's my turn to play a game".
I'm CONSIDERING making a website on which the location of my body is given by the solutions of some extremely complicated mathematical problems.
I have a degree in maths myself, and I would construct very complicated mathematical problems spanning several areas, from differential equations to geometry, and algebra to advanced calculus and number theory.
The website wouldn't have the answers build within it either, so the police (or whoever) couldn't cheat by just going to the host and asking to be let in the back door. It would just be a website showing the problems to be solved.
The problems would also be constructed in such a way that they couldn't just be put into a computer program such as Maple and solved numerically, somebody would have to sit there and work through it manually.
If I decide to do this, I would make my way somewhere to 'do it' that I have never been before, far away from where I live. I wouldn't do it in just one journey, but use various forms of transport, change clothes, etc, and actually 'do it' somewhere where a walker wouldn't just find me randomly.

Why does it feel like this should be a tv series? Aside from that, you seem really well prepared, hope it all works out for you lovely

 

[BipolarGuy]

Why does it feel like this should be a tv series? Aside from that, you seem really well prepared, hope it all works out for you lovely

A TV series huh?
Are you suggesting I should kidnap mental health workers and give them a maze of equations to solve in order to escape....?

Thanks

Edit: my emojis aren't appearing

 

[the witch’s lament]

You make a good point about the mathematical problem part of it, and admittedly I have left the reasoning behind it fairly open to interpretation. The reason I would do it (IF in fact I do) is to make a point about accessing mental health support.
I rather suspect that as time goes on I just won't have the energy to construct complex maths problems which give the correct solutions to my location, but we'll see. Just a thought

it is your life. and your hopeful death. if this is your last hoo rah as some may say, go mental. who am I to say how you should be remembered or how much of impact your CTB will make? but when I consider my death, which I do often, I want it to be over in the grand scheme of things almost immediately. as much as I wish I could never be found, I know that it will happen eventually so might as well get it over with. I largely care not for the opinions of those who will lose me, that is the selfish nature of ego anyways. but I wouldn't venture to make it harder in any way. whatever you choose I know will be right for you. these are just my thoughts on something I consider for myself often.

 

[BipolarGuy]

it is your life. and your hopeful death. if this is your last hoo rah as some may say, go mental. who am I to say how you should be remembered or how much of impact your CTB will make? but when I consider my death, which I do often, I want it to be over in the grand scheme of things almost immediately. as much as I wish I could never be found, I know that it will happen eventually so might as well get it over with. I largely care not for the opinions of those who will lose me, that is the selfish nature of ego anyways. but I wouldn't venture to make it harder in any way. whatever you choose I know will be right for you. these are just my thoughts on something I consider for myself often.

No it's ok, I'm interested in hearing your opinion. As I said above I think when I've got everything in place the last thing I'll probably be thinking of is constructing a complicated integral which produces a specific answer. But you don't feel it would be a good way to make a point anyway?

 

[the witch’s lament]

No it's ok, I'm interested in hearing your opinion. As I said above I think when I've got everything in place the last thing I'll probably be thinking of is constructing a complicated integral which produces a specific answer. But you don't feel it would be a good way to make a point anyway?

I guess it depends what your point is. what are you hoping the point will be? is there a person in your life who you think will be most equipped to solving this?

 

[BipolarGuy]

I guess it depends what your point is. what are you hoping the point will be? is there a person in your life who you think will be most equipped to solving this?

My point would purely be to make it difficult for people to find me.
Essentially putting them in a position where they basically have the information they need to find me, but they need to work to access the information.
The explicit point would be that it has been so difficult to access mental health support, and now it's my turn to play a game and make things absurdly, unnecessarily difficult.

 

[the witch’s lament]

My point would purely be to make it difficult for people to find me.
Essentially putting them in a position where they basically have the information they need to find me, but they need to work to access the information.
The explicit point would be that it has been so difficult to access mental health support, and now it's my turn to play a game and make things absurdly, unnecessarily difficult.

if that is what you wish to leave behind and you will get final fulfillment from it, then make it happen.

 

[BipolarGuy]

if that is what you wish to leave behind and you will get final fulfillment from it, then make it happen.

I'd love to. Realistically I don't think I'll have the energy when I get the stuff through.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I hope everything works out for you. It sounds like you have everything in order.

 

[TheQ22]

Kind of like a murder mystery. But low on murder, high on mystery.

Do you think the dummies would be able to solve it?

I.e if it's much more complex than 1+1 = ? Then your body will never be found.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Kind of like a murder mystery. But low on murder, high on mystery.

Do you think the dummies would be able to solve it?

I.e if it's much more complex than 1+1 = ? Then your body will never be found.

No the problems will be very complex, e.g:

Model the Earth as a sphere of radius 6,400km, with centre at the origin (0,0,0).
Model the magnetic field of the Earth as a uniform field of 0.40 Gauss, with North pole directed in the +z direction and South pole in the -z direction.
A high energy charged particle (of specified rest mass and charge) with weak interaction with matter approaches the Earth at 0.9c, along the vector [1,1,1], calculate the path of the particle as it interacts with the Earth's magnetic field.
Do not disregard relativistic effects.
An uncharged particle that does not interact with matter approaches the Earth along the vector v = [-1, -1, 1] + 2[2, 6, 4].
Calculate the distance below the surface of the Earth where the paths of the particles intersect.
Take the 5th significant figure of the answer you obtained. This is the 2nd significant figure of the latitude coordinate of my location.

That example won't work properly, but it's the kind of thing I would construct to work. So no, not easy problems. This particular problem is more physics, but most would be maths or logical problems.

 

[checkouttime]

No the problems will be very complex, e.g:

Model the Earth as a sphere of radius 6,400km, with centre at the origin (0,0,0).
Model the magnetic field of the Earth as a uniform field of 0.40 Gauss, with North pole directed in the +z direction and South pole in the -z direction.
A high energy charged particle (of specified mass) with weak interaction with matter approaches the Earth at 0.9c, along the vector [1,1,1], calculate the path of the particle as it interacts with the Earth's magnetic field.
Do not disregard relativistic effects.
An uncharged particle that does not interact with matter approaches the Earth along the vector v = [-1, -1, 1] + 2[2, 6, 4].
Calculate the distance below the surface of the Earth where the paths of the particles intersect.
Take the 5th significant figure of the answer you obtained. This is the 2nd significant figure of the latitude coordinate of my location.

That example won't work properly, but it's the kind of thing I would construct to work. So no, not easy problems. This particular problem is more physics, but most would be maths or logical problems.

your lucky i don't work for the police, or you'd never be getting found :S

 

[BipolarGuy]

your lucky i don't work for the police, or you'd never be getting found :S

Oh if the police wanted to find me, they would realistically need to consult with people who work in a maths/physics department at a university, or people with good maths/physics knowledge.
The point is that your average bobby won't know what half this stuff means, let alone how to find the answer.

The whole point of doing this would be to make a public statement about how rubbish mental health services are and how it feels as though they've been playing a 'game' with my life for the past ELEVEN YEARS.

 

[the witch’s lament]

Oh if the police wanted to find me, they would realistically need to consult with people who work in a maths/physics department at a university, or people with good maths/physics knowledge.
The point is that your average bobby won't know what half this stuff means, let alone how to find the answer.

The whole point of doing this would be to make a public statement about how rubbish mental health services are and how it feels as though they've been playing a 'game' with my life for the past ELEVEN YEARS.

my interest is further piqued by some of these replies. I understand you were done wrong by the healthcare system, myself and many others included. (Edit: this is possibly worded confusingly, I mean that many people have been wronged by the healthcare system including myself) it's also evident that you are very smart otherwise you wouldn't be so confident in your ability to devise a seemingly unsolvable puzzle. obviously I don't want you to give it away, but have you found a place where you are certain you wouldn't be found by those who are possibly unaware of this? or at least authorities having a proper search without the knowledge to determine your location based off your equation/puzzle?

 

[BipolarGuy]

my interest is further piqued by some of these replies. I understand you were done wrong by the healthcare system, myself and many others included. it's also evident that you are very smart otherwise you wouldn't be so confident in your ability to devise a seemingly unsolvable puzzle. obviously I don't want you to give it away, but have you found a place where you are certain you wouldn't be found by those who are possibly unaware of this? or at least authorities having a proper search without the knowledge to determine your location based off your equation/puzzle?

"I understand you were done wrong by the healthcare system, myself and many others included"
I don't feel as though you've done me wrong! :)
What makes you think that?

Oh the problems will be solvable, just complicated, and constructed in such a way that they can't be put into a computer and solved numerically, so would need to be worked through properly.

In terms of where I would go, I actually haven't found a location yet.
I thought about doing it in the same place as I did last time, but given I wouldn't want to be found too early I have already decided against this.
IF I go ahead with this maths thing (which I will likely not), I would have to go somewhere where nobody is likely to find me (a dog walker/hiker, for instance), and ideally this would be somewhere far away from where I live and somewhere where I have never been before.
I'm even being careful to research places using different devices and not at my home address.

EDIT: If travelling I would also not take a mobile phone, so location couldn't be tracked, and I would pay in cash so that use of card couldn't be traced. In addition, I would not take a direct route, and would employ some basic level of disguise (e.g. changing clothes during the journey).

 

[TheQ22]

No the problems will be very complex, e.g:

Model the Earth as a sphere of radius 6,400km, with centre at the origin (0,0,0).
Model the magnetic field of the Earth as a uniform field of 0.40 Gauss, with North pole directed in the +z direction and South pole in the -z direction.
A high energy charged particle (of specified rest mass and charge) with weak interaction with matter approaches the Earth at 0.9c, along the vector [1,1,1], calculate the path of the particle as it interacts with the Earth's magnetic field.
Do not disregard relativistic effects.
An uncharged particle that does not interact with matter approaches the Earth along the vector v = [-1, -1, 1] + 2[2, 6, 4].
Calculate the distance below the surface of the Earth where the paths of the particles intersect.
Take the 5th significant figure of the answer you obtained. This is the 2nd significant figure of the latitude coordinate of my location.

That example won't work properly, but it's the kind of thing I would construct to work. So no, not easy problems. This particular problem is more physics, but most would be maths or logical problems.

Like I said - they'll never find you - unless like you say, they employ someone with some real knowledge.

 

[the witch’s lament]

"I understand you were done wrong by the healthcare system, myself and many others included"
I don't feel as though you've done me wrong! :)
What makes you think that?

Oh the problems will be solvable, just complicated, and constructed in such a way that they can't be put into a computer and solved numerically, so would need to be worked through properly.

In terms of where I would go, I actually haven't found a location yet.
I thought about doing it in the same place as I did last time, but given I wouldn't want to be found too early I have already decided against this.
IF I go ahead with this maths thing (which I will likely not), I would have to go somewhere where nobody is likely to find me (a dog walker/hiker, for instance), and ideally this would be somewhere far away from where I live and somewhere where I have never been before.
I'm even being careful to research places using different devices and not at my home address.

EDIT: If travelling I would also not take a mobile phone, so location couldn't be tracked, and I would pay in cash so that use of card couldn't be traced. In addition, I would not take a direct route, and would employ some basic level of disguise (e.g. changing clothes during the journey).

I apologize I would like to clarify. I meant that many have also been wronged by the healthcare system. many other people, including myself, have been wrong/ignored by our country's healthcare system. I have amended my previous reply.

finding a place as hidden as the intricacy of your plan might be more difficult than you think! I'm not trying to discourage you, you seem very passionate about this outcome. just very curious about your process on this.