My Plan For Ritual Suicide

[Glen]

Step one: I will take a long acting poision. I found an extremely toxic poision that takes a while to kill you, around a week typically, but if you take extreme dosses of this already fatal substance, it will kill you in days. I will do this as my first step in resetting my character. Pulling the trigger of a gun to your head takes a lot of courage, something that I probably dont have. Taking something that will however only slowly kill you is a lot easier to do. A qoute from Lord Of War comes to mind: "Why would you worry about something that can kill you in ten years where there are so many things that can kill you today?" Im doing this as a failsafe in case I survive the next couple of steps, or otherwise cant do them. Also, due to the nature of the next steps, my mind will be solely focused on them, so hopefully Ill be too distracted on whether or not I will be able to do these next steps to think about the ramifications of me taking the poison. This first step will be me tipping my toes in the water.

Step two (Undecided on this right now): I will take a fast acting poison. I'm pretty sure I know which one, Ill have to do a little bit more looking, but taking this fast acting poison would make the violent steps ahead more bearable to accomplish. The threat of imminent death from this fast acting posion will also kick me in the butt and push me to do the next, hard steps, before I die.

Step three: Take a knife and stab myself as many times I can in my stomach. I originally wanted to do this with a stake, but I changed my mind to do it with a knife. The knife will be medium lenth, and it will be suitable for stabbing. I plan to use a knife from my kitchen. If I decide on step four, this knife will also be especially geared for gutting.

Step four: I will gut myself. In order to assist myself with this, I might use a miniature saw blade. Ill use it to fully cut open my stomach, making the process easier. Not going to lie, theres a significant chance I wont be able to go through with this step due to the sheer brutality of it.


Step five (Undecided): Im not sure if I'll do this next step, because I feel that it will kill me too fast (just like step 2 might). But this step calls for me taking said saw blade and cutting the veins in my neck, causing me to quickly die (if Im not dead already). The reason I hessitate on this step and #2 is because 1) I might not have the strength to kill myself so quickly and 2) I want to live for at least a little while, just so I can see my life finally fall apart completely. I first got this saw blade idea just this Friday. I was in my HS class (Im above 18 btw, 12th grade) and we were in pre engineering class. The teacher was demonstrating a big buzzsaw to us in class, and thats when the idea of using a saw blade struck me.

So yeah, Im pretty serious about all of this. Ive even started to wear sort of "ceremonial" clothing. In school I only wear white clothes, a pair of jean like white paints and a white cotton shirt. Im even trying to replace my grey shoes with white ones (I ordered some off of amazon, but the size was too big). I like to call it "goth in reverse." White is such a nice and calming color for me. It will go well with blood as well, I want to watch what Im doing to myself. I might as well prepare in whatever way I can for what is to come. Small things matter to me. Im trying to improve my appearance as much as I can before I go ahead and reset my character. I want to look good when I die.

If you want to know why the hell why, its fine to ask.

Also a disclaimer: I personally do not like this website. That doesnt mean I dont like the people who use or run it, I just simply dont like this website for my own very strong reasons. This is the only time I'll mention this. I dont want my parents or whoever stumbling on this account and concluding I support this site. The reason Im here is because Im very very very sick :( R/suicideWatch has mostly posts and no actual comments, while this place has a lot of activity. Im posting here because it seems to be the biggest online space where suicidal people talk to each other. That, and I worry Id just be quickly kicked or shutdown from other online spaces if I talk of killing myself with such conviction. I just want to talk to the people here.

 

[hypercones]

Why the ritual method?

Have you tried therapy/medication for depression? SSRIs helped me a lot.

 

[Glen]

Why the ritual method?

Have you tried therapy/medication for depression? SSRIs helped me a lot.

It's a bit of a story, I'll reply after school tmrw because it's almost 2 am now.

 

[nicotine_goblin]

That is a brutal way to go for sure, seems you are quite determined. I'd like to know why exactly this way as well. You probably have strong reasons for contemplating and going through with this, but might I ask if you ever tried mental health resources? Either way, I think gutting would be extremely difficult especially since the poisons will probably already be in effect. I've tried hitting the arteries in my hands a few times, it really takes a lot of strength and determination. So I think the cutting part might be an overkill, but it's up to you of course. Good luck in either recovery if you decide to take that route, or with ctb

 

[squirley]

Step one: I will take a long acting poision. I found an extremely toxic poision that takes a while to kill you, around a week typically, but if you take extreme dosses of this already fatal substance, it will kill you in days.

What's the name of the "poison"

I will do this as my first step in resetting my character.

You're character ? This is real life dude. Not an anime special respawn.

Pulling the trigger of a gun to your head takes a lot of courage, something that I probably dont have.

understandably.

Taking something that will however only slowly kill you is a lot easier to do.

But would you not be feeling pain throughout this duration? Weeks ?

A qoute from Lord Of War comes to mind: "Why would you worry about something that can kill you in ten years where there are so many things that can kill you today?"

great movie.

Im doing this as a failsafe in case I survive the next couple of steps, or otherwise cant do them. Also, due to the nature of the next steps, my mind will be solely focused on them, so hopefully Ill be too distracted on whether or not I will be able to do these next steps to think about the ramifications of me taking the poison. This first step will be me tipping my toes in the water.

Step two (Undecided on this right now): I will take a fast acting poison.

What poison??

I'm pretty sure I know which one, Ill have to do a little bit more looking, but taking this fast acting poison would make the violent steps ahead more bearable to accomplish. The threat of imminent death from this fast acting posion will also kick me in the butt and push me to do the next, hard steps, before I die.

Bruh first you said slow poison now fast poison. Stop trollinnnngggg dawg this site is a great place safe place for alot of people. Why disrupt that ?

Step three: Take a knife and stab myself as many times I can in my stomach. I originally wanted to do this with a stake, but I changed my mind to do it with a knife. The knife will be medium lenth, and it will be suitable for stabbing. I plan to use a knife from my kitchen. If I decide on step four, this knife will also be especially geared for gutting.

The method you're thinking of does not include "stabbing" or "many times"
This is going to cause you an extreme amount of pain. And a trip to the ward.

Step four: I will gut myself. In order to assist myself with this, I might use a miniature saw blade. Ill use it to fully cut open my stomach, making the process easier. Not going to lie, theres a significant chance I wont be able to go through with this step due to the sheer brutality of it.
View attachment 119655
Was it fun trolling ? You're going to hut yourself.with a mini saw ? After the poison and stabbing your self of course. Come on bruh.

Step five (Undecided): Im not sure if I'll do this next step, because I feel that it will kill me too fast (just like step 2 might). But this step calls for me taking said saw blade and cutting the veins in my neck,

What veins ? What about SI ? too fast ???

causing me to quickly die (if Im not dead already). The reason I hessitate on this step and #2 is because 1) I might not have the strength to kill myself so quickly and 2) I want to live for at least a little while, just so I can see my life finally fall apart completely

?

. I first got this saw blade idea just this Friday. I was in my HS class (Im above 18 btw, 12th grade) and we were in pre engineering class. The teacher was demonstrating a big buzzsaw to us in class, and thats when the idea of using a saw blade struck me.

Bleeding out is not the greatest of choices. And can cause extreme amounts of pain and panic.

So yeah, Im pretty serious about all of this. Ive even started to wear sort of "ceremonial" clothing. In school I only wear white clothes, a pair of jean like white paints and a white cotton shirt. Im even trying to replace my grey shoes with white ones (I ordered some off of amazon, but the size was too big). I like to call it "goth in reverse."

?

White is such a nice and calming color for me. It will go well with blood as well, I want to watch what Im doing to myself. I might as well prepare in whatever way I can for what is to come. Small things matter to me. Im trying to improve my appearance as much as I can before I go ahead and reset my character. I want to look good when I die.

Sure who doesn't want to look somewhat presentable before they go.

If you want to know why the hell why, its fine to ask.

Also a disclaimer: I personally do not like this website.

????

That doesnt mean I dont like the people who use or run it, I just simply dont like this website for my own very strong reasons.

????

This is the only time I'll mention this. I dont want my parents or whoever stumbling on this account and concluding I support this site. The reason Im here is because Im very very very sick :( R/suicideWatch has mostly posts and no actual comments,

???

while this place has a lot of activity. Im posting here because it seems to be the biggest online space where suicidal people talk to each other. That, and I worry Id just be quickly kicked or shutdown from other online spaces if I talk of killing myself with such conviction. I just want to talk to the people here.

Look dude I'm not sure what you got going on in that brain of yours. But I would slow down a bit. Take a breath.
because you're all over the place. And the contradictions are flying around everywhere. There are many threads that can educate you on methods. There are many people that you can ask questions towards but wait you said you don't like this website right ?
Good luck. and all the best.

 

[Letmedienow]

I personally do not like this website

If you don't like this website then you shouldn't be here taking advantage of the community. You yourself said there's nowhere else to freely talk so why shit on the website that is giving you the space to talk and connect with others?

 

[SVEN]

1) Hara-Kiri is a singularly difficult method to achieve in the traditional manner. So difficult in fact that the custom was to have a relative or friend standing by so that when you reached for the "short sword" they would attempt to behead you (not as easy to accomplish as often suggested).
To be honest, these multiple methods of ctb sound unlikely to ever work in combination as you outline it, however I do wish you well in whatever course of action you finally decide on.

 

[Glen]

If you don't like this website then you shouldn't be here taking advantage of the community. You yourself said there's nowhere else to freely talk so why shit on the website that is giving you the space to talk and connect with others?

I never "shit on the website." I just simply said I personally strongly disliked it. I never once stated anything about the site I didnt like. I just stated it once for the record. I dont have anysort of loyalty obligation to any website, including this one.

What's the name of the "poison"

What poison??

The method you're thinking of does not include "stabbing" or "many times"
This is going to cause you an extreme amount of pain. And a trip to the ward.

I'm not comfortable with sharing what I want to use, but the quick acting poision was something I learned from this forum. But I havent looked into it all that much so I dont know if I'll end up using it.

But would you not be feeling pain throughout this duration? Weeks ?

I wont be alive for weeks, probably.. But if I so thats acceptable to me currently.

This is going to cause you an extreme amount of pain. And a trip to the ward.

Yeah, it will. Thats part of the objective. Im a bit of masochist.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

It's a bit of a story, I'll reply after school tmrw because it's almost 2 am now.

School?
How old are you?

And if you don't like this website..what exactly are you doing here?

 

[Unattainable666]

If you don't like the website - it's real easy get off and stay off. Don't attempt to tarnish this site because you're unhappy. Move on