Nah... But I'm sure dissociating during the therapy appointments while she was talking to me must have had something to do with it. "Therapist-induced dissociative identity." It's an actual thing. If you dig into the research, it's origins actually go all the way back to Project MKUltra. Pretty creepy. It's a real thing though. Basically, the therapist uses improper techniques and rather than having you face your trauma so that you can understand and overcome it....they detach you from it so that you can start over new. The therapist was fucked up, and every appointment I always felt worse when I left than when I got there. I should have gone to a new therapist. I knew it, and my girlfriend knew it. At the time I was under the impression this was the only available therapist in the area for what needed, so I continued seeing her. She was very weird and the therapy was just....fucked up, idk..... The things she would say, and the way she would say it.... I know how I get. I'm sure I was dissociating during the appointments. Must have had about 4 or 5 sessions with her. By the time I finished that last session with her, when I walked out those doors I wasn't Ryan anymore.
I was a serious lifetime outdoorsman, so I can really relate to this. I don't do much of anything anymore. I am currently doing therapy once a week and take antidepressants. Took some of the edge of the extreme anxiety I was feeling, but other than that, no change,
That is incredibly shitty, I'm so sorry it happened to you. When those tasked with helping people inflict grave harm like that, it is truly monstrous.
I'm not so sure the ketamine is helping with the dissociation, but I mean...
I wish I could see her thrown behind bars. Both her and the medical doctor.
The ketamine is at night only. I'm not on it all the time.
