Venting My Mom Attempted CTB, Following my CTB Attempts

[ForeverSleepy]

Hello everyone,

I want to share this experience with you, as I want to get this off my chest and also be able to remember all that is wrong with my life once I atttempt CTB again.

As I have said earlier, I unfortunately survived two CTB attempts with a different range of medications and alcohol. Two days ago, my mother missing, and due to this I filed a missing person's reports snf ran through all the emergency services as fast as possible and she was dtill not found. Later in the day, I was with my father when she called, disoriented and impaired, and we were able to make out where she was.

We found her, completely wrecked in her car from a benzodiazepene overdose. Today, she admitted to my father she did it because she got inspiration from me and that I influenced her.

No matter where I go, what situation I try to improve, something always, always falls on me.

I am at loss for words, thank you for reading.

 

[ChainedCrow]

Dont feel guilty for what the attempts u did and how they impacted those around you u felt and did what u had to do to feel peace, dont blame yourself for her decisions about her own life and that "inspiration" is just a disgusting way to put the blame on you. Much love

 

[ForeverSleepy]

Dont feel guilty for what the attempts u did and how they impacted those around you u felt and did what u had to do to feel peace, dont blame yourself for her decisions about her own life and that "inspiration" is just a disgusting way to put the blame on you. Much love

Thank you so much, to you too!

 

[flightless bird]

i'm so sorry. i don't know what to say.

hope she is okay and you are too. please hold her and tell her how much you love her. tell her to never do it again.

i wish you and your mom the best.

 

[TBONTB]

Hello everyone,

I want to share this experience with you, as I want to get this off my chest and also be able to remember all that is wrong with my life once I atttempt CTB again.

As I have said earlier, I unfortunately survived two CTB attempts with a different range of medications and alcohol. Two days ago, my mother missing, and due to this I filed a missing person's reports snf ran through all the emergency services as fast as possible and she was dtill not found. Later in the day, I was with my father when she called, disoriented and impaired, and we were able to make out where she was.

We found her, completely wrecked in her car from a benzodiazepene overdose. Today, she admitted to my father she did it because she got inspiration from me and that I influenced her.

No matter where I go, what situation I try to improve, something always, always falls on me.

I am at loss for words, thank you for reading.

So sorry you had this experience. BUT it's NOT your fault!!!! From your own experiences you know that this decision is a highly personal one that only you can make. Your Moms choice is your Moms choice.

Besides, she's the Mom, she's the grown-up. You are not responsible for her.

Take care, this pain is hard and serious, but it is not of your making.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Dont feel guilty for what the attempts u did and how they impacted those around you u felt and did what u had to do to feel peace, dont blame yourself for her decisions about her own life and that "inspiration" is just a disgusting way to put the blame on you. Much love

not sure whether she wanted to put blame or not, tho copycat CTB is unfortunately common. Still, she calling it 'inspiration', as if it was some art idea, isn't good.

 

[xiaoxiongmao]

hottake: my first attempt in middle school was a copycat of my mom's semi-fake attempt to seek attention. she did it in front of me when I was in elementary school. and I still think that her action influenced me permanently: imagine plant the idea "ctb is certainly a legit option on a Tuesday night after a fight with your husband" in a 10 year old's head...

but of course, here the situation is a bit different because we are all grownups (hopefully? this website is 18+)

 

[Linda]

You are not responsible for your mother's actions. She is an adult.

Is your father suicidal? If all three of you feel that way, could you arrange to go together? (I guess that counts as 'lateral thinking', and I'm not sure that my question deserves to be taken seriously. But I'm not sure that it's not serious either. Over to you.)

 

[bankai]

Your mother is immature. Either that or it's guilt tripping, or both. Either way, it's immature. But I'm pretty sure this is a 1/2 hearted fake attempt.Especially calling you both after the car, knowing full and well that you'd already be looking for her.

But no doubt you feel guilt now. Even more guilt. And you feel even worse off now because of this entire fiasco,Christ,sorry.

 

[stoiccactus]

She sounds like a real piece of work. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this shit.

 

[eggsausagerice]

my first attempt in middle school was a copycat of my mom's semi-fake attempt to seek attention. she did it in front of me when I was in elementary school. and I still think that her action influenced me permanently: imagine plant the idea "ctb is certainly a legit option on a Tuesday night after a fight with your husband" in a 10 year old's head...

my mom was the same exact way when i was younger. she would threaten to kill herself or say that she wanted to die because no one appreciated her, and i was like, "i can do that and i won't go to hell because my mom said it??". i started choking myself and hitting myself in the head after that to deal with stress.

We found her, completely wrecked in her car from a benzodiazepene overdose. Today, she admitted to my father she did it because she got inspiration from me and that I influenced her.

i think it's really messed up that your mom would do this. even though it was her decision to do it overall, she doesn't have the right to pin it on you and say that your attempt is the reason she did it. even though copycat suicide is real your mon has a mind of her own.

 

[Worndown]

It appears your mother has some unresolved issues of her own.