AfriQuark
Member
- Jul 18, 2025
- 21
I might die out of pure friendlessness, or whatever disease it causes. It could be stress, magical heat problems, or falling into a manhole with no one to help escape. As far as I know, I'm as dead as someone with a chronic illness.
I have no friends in the most literal way. No support circle, no one to talk to. No one to visit. Nothing. And my family makes me feel worse. I cannot even say it's a temporary thing, or a product of some big change. This is my entire life. I was 8 and had no friends, 12 had no friends, 17, and now I'm 25.
My entire life is figuratively standing in the distance and watching as everyone else enjoys stuff. Just awkwardly existing despite the world's displeasure with my presence. There are no friends I lost, because I never had any. There are no botched opportunities. There are no invites or parties I refused.
Even now at work, I'm still there, existing, and everyone else socialised and magically became friends just like that.
WhY DoNt YoU TaLk To PeOpLe
I do, and I have. And it only makes me more lonely and confirms everything I say. I literally try to be as perfect in what I say and how I say it. To be as normal as possible. And the end? I'm back outside watching in the distance through the window. It's not for a lack of trying. You people cannot gaslight me into thinking that.
I'm actually dead. Legitely. One day, I will be dropped dead in a garbage apartment, left for days with no one noticing until there's a smell. And then at the funeral, my family is going to lie to the crowd of THEIR friends. About how loved I was despite literally no one in the service knowing a single thing about me. My memory is literally just going to be made up for my family's ego, then forgotten within the next month.
And through all that. The only thing anyone has to say is that I never actually tried.
I have no friends in the most literal way. No support circle, no one to talk to. No one to visit. Nothing. And my family makes me feel worse. I cannot even say it's a temporary thing, or a product of some big change. This is my entire life. I was 8 and had no friends, 12 had no friends, 17, and now I'm 25.
My entire life is figuratively standing in the distance and watching as everyone else enjoys stuff. Just awkwardly existing despite the world's displeasure with my presence. There are no friends I lost, because I never had any. There are no botched opportunities. There are no invites or parties I refused.
Even now at work, I'm still there, existing, and everyone else socialised and magically became friends just like that.
WhY DoNt YoU TaLk To PeOpLe
I do, and I have. And it only makes me more lonely and confirms everything I say. I literally try to be as perfect in what I say and how I say it. To be as normal as possible. And the end? I'm back outside watching in the distance through the window. It's not for a lack of trying. You people cannot gaslight me into thinking that.
I'm actually dead. Legitely. One day, I will be dropped dead in a garbage apartment, left for days with no one noticing until there's a smell. And then at the funeral, my family is going to lie to the crowd of THEIR friends. About how loved I was despite literally no one in the service knowing a single thing about me. My memory is literally just going to be made up for my family's ego, then forgotten within the next month.
And through all that. The only thing anyone has to say is that I never actually tried.
