Venting My life

[drainedguy32]

Hi guys. I just wanted to share some part of my life with you. Summing up, I've been depressed for like 7 years now, hardly talked to anyone about it. Every day is getting harder and harder, my main problems are my fears and my close circle. I wanna ctb, but I think I'm not brave enough. Also, I do know if I killed myself I would be killing in some kind of way some family and friends since I know I have people who truly love me. I've never talked openly about this and I don't really know what to do. I feel empty, but also selfish. I'm Spanish btw, if someone wants to talk, feel free to :)

 

[adrenalinejunkie]

Hi drainedguy32, I'm new on the site and haven't posted much but relate to your story. I have bipolar depression which has been unbearable and only started feeling better a few months ago but have huge obstacles that feel overwhelming. I have two young daughters and I don't think I can do this and scar them for life. I have up to 4 years I can put it off and then I will be forced into a decision. I'm just doing what I can to turn things around but a lot of it is out of my control. Not sure if this helps but you should have other replies. Best wishes to you.

 

[drainedguy32]

Hi drainedguy32, I'm new on the site and haven't posted much but relate to your story. I have bipolar depression which has been unbearable and only started feeling better a few months ago but have huge obstacles that feel overwhelming. I have two young daughters and I don't think I can do this and scar them for life. I have up to 4 years I can put it off and then I will be forced into a decision. I'm just doing what I can to turn things around but a lot of it is out of my control. Not sure if this helps but you should have other replies. Best wishes to you.

Hi :)
Tbh I don't know if I have depression, I guess so. It's just like I don't think about suicide as I did some time ago, now there's only numbness. I'm trying to hold on, but I truly think I'm done with life, main problem is what I said... if I ever get to kill myself, I would be killing my mum, she loves me so deeply u can't even imagine, I feel sorry for her. Best wishes to you too.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I've suffered from clinical depression since age 7, so I know how exhausting long-term depression feels.
Also staying alive for the sake of others adds immense pressure to the situation.
Fortunately for me, my family is toxic, so I will not be staying alive for their sake.

 

[drainedguy32]

I've suffered from clinical depression since age 7, so I know how exhausting long-term depression feels.
Also staying alive for the sake of others adds immense pressure to the situation.
Fortunately for me, my family is toxic, so I will not be staying alive for their sake.

My case is kinda strange. On one hand Im really numb, I just don't care about anything, except my family and friends and how my death would have an impact on them... It's really hard for me

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

My case is kinda strange. On one hand Im really numb, I just don't care about anything, except my family and friends and how my death would have an impact on them... It's really hard for me

Are you suffering from anhedonia ?
Anhedonia makes you emotionally numb.
I have anhedonia symptoms due to my depression.
It's awful. It makes me feel like a living dead man.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's dreadful feeling trapped in this existence but anyway I wish you the best, it must be tiring being in that situation.