This literally happens to me all the time. Every time I feel good,, the universe is like "HA HA, no!". Every time I feel so low and just want to give up, the universe is like "HA HA, just kidding! Cheer up!" or "It'S jUsT a PrAnK, bRuH!". It's as if it lurs me into false hope and happiness, just so it can shove me back down again. It's literally a never-ending cycle and has been this way for several years (if not most of my life).
What is this mess? What kind of life is this, where you feel like you always have to keep your guard up and never let it down, or else? Always waiting for the next shoe to drop every time you at least feel somewhat decent. Where you always have to remind yourself to never get too happy, or else you'll suffer the consequences either in the middle of having a good time, or right afterwards. Where it feels like the universe is watching your every move, every facial expression, every feeling, and even hears your thoughts. Where you eventually end up being too scared to feel any happiness whatsoever, too afraid to laugh, or too afraid to even crack a smile anymore, because you know in the back of your mind that you'll be punished just for any of those things. You also begin to feel extremely helplessness and hopelessness. Too helpless to keep the bad luck away and from it ruining your mood every time, no matter what you do and how positive you are or try to be. And hopeless, feeling like you'll never get to feel happy (or more so truly happy) ever again, as you're luck seemingly continues to worsen every year.
For years, I have dealt with this curse and used to find it be a funny joke. But now, words can't describe how much I hate this and how much this makes me want to die every day. I just hope that I'm not the only person on earth who's experiencing or living with this curse, or whatever it is. Just to feel less alone, I guess. But if there is anyone else dealing with this, I feel very sorry for you.
