my hypothetical top 5 methods, in order

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

I must have tried this 20 times by now. I just can't imagine voluntarily lowering yourself into unconsciousness. I always stand up when it gets even slightly weird.

That leaves FSH. In that moment when the rope is tight and I'm just starting to feel tingly, step off instead of stand up. But goodness gracious it's terrifying.

I had that same fear when I first started practicing partial. Took a while to get used to. Now I can get to the point of just blacking out and it's at that point that I stop, for whatever reason. Maybe just pure survival instinct. Maybe if I take Sildenafil and a nitroglycerin (which can lower the blood pressure to a lethal level when taken together) maybe my body would have no choice but to "fall into place".

Oh, and yeah I do it from a door. Tie one end to the knob, throw it over and add the slipknot to the other end. The key is getting it to the right height.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I had that same fear when I first started practicing partial. Took a while to get used to. Now I can get to the point of just blacking out and it's at that point that I stop, for whatever reason. Maybe just pure survival instinct. Maybe if I take Sildenafil and a nitroglycerin (which can lower the blood pressure to a lethal level when taken together) maybe my body would have no choice but to "fall into place".

Oh, and yeah I do it from a door. Tie one end to the knob, throw it over and add the slipknot to the other end. The key is getting it to the right height.

Problem with my doors is the handle, which I would likely jostle while spasming. Though I have tried my front door, which locks. Every time I fail to apply enough pressure, or chicken out once I start to. My hope now rests on the noose in my closet, which I'd use in a kneeling position. It's given me a euphoric rush and tingly extremities. But still, I give up on it or I don't get enough pressure. I think of it as my way out but I know it's not viable. So my whole "struggle with suicide" is a joke for now. I just delude myself thinking I have enough for partial, like those celebrities...

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Problem with my doors is the handle, which I would likely jostle while spasming. Though I have tried my front door, which locks. Every time I fail to apply enough pressure, or chicken out once I start to. My hope now rests on the noose in my closet, which I'd use in a kneeling position. It's given me a euphoric rush and tingly extremities. But still, I give up on it or I don't get enough pressure. I think of it as my way out but I know it's not viable. So my whole "struggle with suicide" is a joke for now. I just delude myself thinking I have enough for partial, like those celebrities...

I'm really sorry you're struggling with this. Obviously, I can equate. I've been trying to wrap my brain around the whole "getting over survival instinct" and it's driving me mad.

Problem with my doors is the handle, which I would likely jostle while spasming. Though I have tried my front door, which locks. Every time I fail to apply enough pressure, or chicken out once I start to. My hope now rests on the noose in my closet, which I'd use in a kneeling position. It's given me a euphoric rush and tingly extremities. But still, I give up on it or I don't get enough pressure. I think of it as my way out but I know it's not viable. So my whole "struggle with suicide" is a joke for now. I just delude myself thinking I have enough for partial, like those celebrities...

Otherwise, how you are feeling today? Any better? Even slightly?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

@TheTwelthRootOfTwo no, a little more desperate and trapped all the time

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

@TheTwelthRootOfTwo no, a little more desperate and trapped all the time

Sending lots of hugs.

@TheTwelthRootOfTwo no, a little more desperate and trapped all the time

I'm always here if you ever just wanna talk about it. I'll listen without judgment.