Venting my girlfriend

[emilyprentiss]

i know im a horrible partner, im too stupid, im too sensitive, im too ugly, worthless, emotional, a burden, that i am scum but that doesn't mean i won't miss her so much. i wish i was good enough to stay with her and i hope i don't scar her. she is the most perfect sweet ethereal human being i have ever met. she is the only person i have ever loved but my love is going to rot inside her and make her miserable. if i die to make her happy it proves how much i love her, no one else would ever do something so big. i feel so guilty to her that im still alive but so guilty for ending it and leaving her. i know she will be happier though. i am too repulsive to have a physical relationship with i know she would have to be sick and i don't want her to be ashamed of how disgusting i am. I don't want her to force herself to understand me anymore, she should be with someone who isn't a burden to talk to. im stopping that. but I'll miss her. I have to remember that I won't exist for it to matter and that's how it always should've been. im finally being good.

 

[arcticmonkey]

if i die to make her happy it proves how much i love her, no one else would ever do something so big. i feel so guilty to her that im still alive but so guilty for ending it and leaving her. i know she will be happier though.

If your death would make her happy she wouldn't be with you in the first place, it WILL most definitely scar her, with that being said it's your life and the decision is yours, but these all seem like thoughts to cope with your guilt, sorry if i came off as rude, i hope whatever you choose brings you the most peace.

 

[emilyprentiss]

If your death would make her happy she wouldn't be with you in the first place, it WILL most definitely scar her, with that being said it's your life and the decision is yours, but these all seem like thoughts to cope with your guilt, sorry if i came off as rude, i hope whatever you choose brings you the most peace.

She did leave me for a month once before but she came back. I don't know why. You aren't rude at all i can definitely get a bit of tunnel vision so i appreciate the reality check!

 

[Greasyhair]

I am so sorry. I do not know what I would do, if I was in relationship with someone I truly loved. Maybe disappear, and go completely dark on them?

 

[emilyprentiss]

I am so sorry. I do not know what I would do, if I was in relationship with someone I truly loved. Maybe disappear, and go completely dark on them?

i did consider ghosting just being i want her to hate me so I have nothing let that makes me happy, I think the most effective way to make her hate me would be to just leave her but i don't think I could bear it

 

[Greasyhair]

i did consider ghosting just being i want her to hate me so I have nothing let that makes me happy, I think the most effective way to make her hate me would be to just leave her but i don't think I could bear it

I understand, and of course its one thing for me to wonder out aloud, and one thing to do in practice. In reality I would probably be stuck like vampire on vein.