Venting My girlfriend ctb

[exygen]

A few days ago, Feb 6th. My girlfriend since December 2023 ctb and I think it's largely my fault. She did it via hanging and I want to the same way now. I tried to lower my weight on the knot but only with only like 50% of my weight it was excruciating pain. Tbh I'm not sure what to do, I have no issue with dying I just am a pussy to the pain. I feel like my life has a lot of potential to get better or maybe even really good. I'm not completely fucked, but I'm not really passionate about my future. and I know (and I realize everyone says this) that no one will ever love me the same as she did especially because of our history. Im just torn and conflicted on everything

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

I am sorry for your loss. What leads you to felt that her choosing to kill herself was your fault?

 

[Jorvak]

That's an awful loss you went through. Don't blame yourself for her suicide. You may not have seen the full picture of what was troubling her. I have no idea what your relationship dynamic was, or what she was like, but I want to posit the possibility that she may not have been fully open to you about all of her struggles. it's possible that she could have had chronic depression and anxieties she never really told you about which built up stress until she couldn't take it any more. You can't blame yourself for that. Your reaction to it and you blaming yourself is why it's really important to be considerate and leave a note to make it clear that it wasn't the fault of various people in your life.

I hope you can find some peace with what happened one day. But I suggest not make a rash decision based on how you feel right now. Give it a good long time. This will always be a great loss to you, and a deeply troubling memory, but you wont feel the despair you do now. you'll probably feel sad when thinking about it, but not despair. It may be difficult for you to even consider right now, but try your absolute best to move on at your own pace.