After leaving a dysfunctional relationship, I was hesitant to start dating again. But I thought I deserved to be happy. So after taking some time to heal after the initial breakup with my now ex-fiancé, I started dating a woman who I felt was emotionally mature and stable. It started out as all relationships start, romance, sex, and deep conversations.
We grew closer every day, and after a few months of dating I told her that she was "my person" and eventually introduced her to my family. I trusted her because I felt that she was worthy. I had also shown her that I was worthy of that same trust and loyalty. I made to point to be there for her when she needed someone, and she lived an hour away. No matter what, I showed up.
But a few months later, things in my life became tricky for a number of factors. My mom had a massive stroke and could no longer care for herself. My ex made seeing my stepson impossible. My housing situation became very complicated, forcing me to find another place in the middle of a housing shortage. As a result, I developed a significant case of anxiety (which triggered a deep depression) that caused me to have full blown panic attacks.
My girlfriend was initially supportive and urged me to get help, and told me that "I could trust her with anything I was feeling" so I opened up to her and showed her my vulnerability. But within a few weeks, she began to drift away. Every "I love you" was met with silence. She eventually told me that my situation "threatened her inner peace" and said that she "needed to take a break".
That "break" was three months ago. Needless to say, she completely stopped calling or texting. There were no "how are you doing?" or "how's your mom?" calls. I called her a few weeks ago, and despite claiming that "this was the hardest thing to do for her" and she "thinks about me every day", her demeanor remained cold and distant. It was a huge wake up call: My vulnerability was inevitably weaponized and used against me so she had an excuse to leave.
My point? Dating today is pointless and true love is a myth. Because there are so many perceived options, most people bail on the ones they supposedly love the moment things get hard. They'll use words like inner peace, serenity, and say things like "I am losing myself" instead of stating the truth: They were never really there to begin with. All you were was a temporary dopamine fix and never planned to stick around. They'll replace you, or in reality, already replaced you before the first sign of trouble. If the relationship involves work, sacrifice, loyalty, accountability or simply being there while you show your vulnerabilities-they're gone.
The lesson here is that she did you a favor by proving that she's unreliable and inauthentic. With this in mind, I hope that you find someone who's worthy of you but be prepared to be disappointed. Humans are slowly devolving and the older we get, the worst they become. This is why so many people are choosing to be alone, and humanity will suffer.
