my gf left me and i feel so empty

[Dead girl]

shes the only person who i ever felt like important with all my friends just sorta see me as like a second choice ive never had someone call me their best friend or anything so her leaving me feels like i lost my only real friendship and a relationship i feel like dyin

 

[jamie_]

same. felt good to be someone's favourite person and even they ended up picking me as second choice to someone else eventually. im that much of a catch you can go from promising the rest of your life with me to discarding for someone else you spoke to occassionally over the course of 14 days.

 

[Dead girl]

same. felt good to be someone's favourite person and even they ended up picking me as second choice to someone else eventually. im that much of a catch you can go from promising the rest of your life with me to discarding for someone else you spoke to occassionally over the course of 14 days.

exactly what happend to me... she liked some random guy at work who she would talk to sometimes and has only known for a couple weeks amd we had been dating for over a year now...

 

[jamie_]

exactly what happend to me... she liked some random guy at work who she would talk to sometimes and has only known for a couple weeks amd we had been dating for over a year now...

scary that no matter what you do, what you say, how much you believe in the relationship, they can up sticks for someone else and leave you with emotional wounds so bad you get cptsd because of the abandonment. there's 8 billion people out there and will always be someone new, more convenient, or better than you that if they want to fuck you off they can. i don't see why i would ever have any motivation to experience it again tbh.

 

[Dead girl]

scary that no matter what you do, what you say, how much you believe in the relationship, they can up sticks for someone else and leave you with emotional wounds so bad you get cptsd because of the abandonment. there's 8 billion people out there and will always be someone new, more convenient, or better than you that if they want to fuck you off they can. i don't see why i would ever have any motivation to experience it again tbh.

she asked me if we could call in about an hour when shes off work and part of me thinks shes gonna try and get back with me because i know the guy from her work ended up rejecting her

 

[jamie_]

she asked me if we could call in about an hour when shes off work and part of me thinks shes gonna try and get back with me because i know the guy from her work ended up rejecting her

how nice of her to keep you as a backup option just in case. the same reason i was initially kept strung along and gaslit just in case it didn't work out, and then got blocked and discarded never to be spoken to again once she landed the upgrade. that's all i was. like a phone, an accessory, an aesthetic, an extension of herself – something to be constantly be on the lookout window shopping to upgrade from.

i'd say fuck her but then i'd be a hypocrite who is just envious of the same not happening to me. id jump at the chance, it would literally save my life.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

she asked me if we could call in about an hour when shes off work and part of me thinks shes gonna try and get back with me because i know the guy from her work ended up rejecting her

I would say no atp. You shouldnt be her first or second choice, you should be the ONLY choice. If she let you go once, she has proven she thinks you're disposable. You're better off trying for someone else.

 

[Alc]

Felt this, in the past year I was let go in a year long relationship on october and again in a 6 month relationship just a few days ago. It's always so funny how you can go from I love you's to I don't cares on whims. I'm traumatized and don't believe in people like I used to when I wanted to see the good in them.

 

[jamie_]

It's always so funny how you can go from I love you's to I don't cares on whims. I'm traumatized and don't believe in people like I used to when I wanted to see the good in them.

It's terrifying. Planning your life together with kids, could literally move in together in my case, meet your family, and then without a second thought the second someone else comes along it's gone. It's crazy how normalised it is to just get bored of someone without even trying, given the pain it can cause. Treating someone you are meant to love like disposable trash. 8 billion people in the world, you will always come across someone who might seem more momentarily more convenient, easy going, or have more suitable qualities, but you don't jump ship when you've invested love, energy and memories into someone. If you break up with someone for someone else you met whilst in your previous relationship it's soft cheating for cowards. They could have broken up at any point with you if they weren't satisified but they don't because they're selfish and don't won't to be without anyone. You should not be with someone unless you seriously think you can spend the rest of your life together with, sadly no one thinks that anymore in this narcissistic and unemphatic hellhole we live in

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

exactly what happend to me... she liked some random guy at work who she would talk to sometimes and has only known for a couple weeks amd we had been dating for over a year now...

Jesus, our situations are very similar. My ex left me for a coworker as well. They're still together four months later, and I'm still down in the dumps about it. Me and my ex were together for close to a year and two months. If you need to PM me and talk about it, you can. I would say don't take her back but that would be hypocritical of me as I would probably take my ex back as well. I wish you the best in this situation.

how nice of her to keep you as a backup option just in case. the same reason i was initially kept strung along and gaslit just in case it didn't work out, and then got blocked and discarded never to be spoken to again once she landed the upgrade. that's all i was. like a phone, an accessory, an aesthetic, an extension of herself – something to be constantly be on the lookout window shopping to upgrade from.

i'd say fuck her but then i'd be a hypocrite who is just envious of the same not happening to me. id jump at the chance, it would literally save my life.

It's awful that this happened to you. My situation is similar, but not nearly as bad as yours. I even said I would say not to get back, but I'd be a hypocrite for the same reason as you did. Mine isn't gaslighting and keeping me strung (I don't think), but still. I truly hope your doing better now.

 

[Meretricious]

Treating someone you are meant to love like disposable trash.

Story of my life. I'm always treated like a possession or a piece of trash.

...but you don't jump ship when you've invested love, energy and memories into someone.

I wish more people thought like this. No one is loyal, everyone is out for themselves, and no one cares what destruction they leave in their wake. People are so inconsiderate and self centered.

You should not be with someone unless you seriously think you can spend the rest of your life together with, sadly no one thinks that anymore in this narcissistic and unemphatic hellhole we live in

Because there are too many options. As you said, billions of people in the world. You're replaceable, and there's always an upgrade to be had; maybe even at your expense.

 

[jamie_]

Because there are too many options. As you said, billions of people in the world. You're replaceable, and there's always an upgrade to be had; maybe even at your expense.

That's the problem with this world viewing people as accessories and something that can always be upgraded. You will never be happy. There is always someone better. But that's not what it should be about. People aren't perfect and you cherish their imperfections. It's not always convenient and it isn't always a piece of cake. Something this shithole planet has forgotten about.

 

[Meretricious]

shes the only person who i ever felt like important with all my friends just sorta see me as like a second choice ive never had someone call me their best friend or anything so her leaving me feels like i lost my only real friendship and a relationship i feel like dyin

"Everyone will hurt you and let you down. You have to figure out who's worth it." - Bob Marley

It's cliché, but never put your happiness in others (especially in regards to them approving of/wanting you).

Take some time for you. Figure out who you are. What you want in and out of life. Find what gives you peace, if possible. People suck in general and animals will be your best companions, oftentimes.


LOVE MYSELF by Olivia O'Brien

Why is it so hard to just be myself?
I feel like I'm different from everyone else,
Yeah, why am I like this? Can somebody please tell me?
I look in the mirror, and what do I see?
I don't really know who's looking back at me,
I don't even know who I wanna be,
I don't need to know who I am yet,
I don't need to have a solid plan yet,
I don't need to be the same as everyone else,
I just need to motherfucking love myself.

CHORUS:
I need to (I need to) I need to love myself,
I need to (I need to) I need to love myself,
I need to (I need to) I need to love myself,
I need to love myself before I love anyone else.

No matter how hard I try or what I do,
I just can never fucking impress you,
So, why am I letting what you say get me down?
I spent my whole life thinking I was wrong,
And nobody likes me and it's all my fault,
But I'm done with that shit, I finally figured out...
I don't need to be the same as everyone else,
I just need to motherfucking love myself.

People are constantly judging and eyeing,
And plotting and lying, so why am I trying?
They're all gon' talk shit anyway,
They're all gon' say what they wanna say,
They're all gon' say what they wanna say anyway.

That's why I need to...
I need to love myself,
I need to, I need to,
I need to love myself,
I need to,
I need to love myself,
I need to love myself... before I love anyone else,
I need to,
And I don't need your help; I need to love myself,
I need to... just fuckin' love myself,
I need to (I need to)... before I love anyone else,
I need to love myself - just fuckin' love myself.

That's the problem with this world viewing people as accessories and something that can always be upgraded. You will never be happy. There is always someone better. But that's not what it should be about. People aren't perfect and you cherish their imperfections. It's not always convenient and it isn't always a piece of cake. Something this shithole planet has forgotten about.

Nailed it. It's a shame that the world has gotten to such an irreversible state. How do you combat such a society, especially when the kind only get taken advantage of?

It's the perfect scam though. Never ending profits for companies if you're never happy or satisfied with what you have. It's a depressing cyclical cycle.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

"Everyone will hurt you and let you down. You have to figure out who's worth it." - Bob Marley

This quote is a really good one for this situation and many situations like it. I suppose if anything, maybe OP can use this as a learning experience for the future. Life is what you make of it I guess.

People suck in general and animals will be your best companions, oftentimes

My cat has been my greatest companion following a breakup, @Dead girl , if you have a pet, I recommend leaning on it for love and companionship.

 

[Nikalas]

Just get a new one chad

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'd say the hell with her. You should never have to be anyone's second choice. I know it hurts. I've been there. But, when you lose your self-respect, you've actually lost more.

 

[SexyIncél]

she asked me if we could call in about an hour when shes off work and part of me thinks shes gonna try and get back with me because i know the guy from her work ended up rejecting her

If you rejoin a betrayer, remember: you can now break any promise to her. They're just soundwaves. Ideally be first to break up. She'll betray you in a heartbeat, so your #1 prio is to line up replacements

Really, you could break up 5 mins after rejoining. For no other reason than curiosity

tis the cost of extreme disloyalty

Nailed it. It's a shame that the world has gotten to such an irreversible state. How do you combat such a society, especially when the kind only get taken advantage of?

Hmm here's what I'm currently thinking...

Team up with other kind trustworthy people. Be kind by default, but counter shitty people. Otherwise you help them cause suffering

With enough great people in your life, you're no longer desperate for more great people. So even if you meet someone charismatic, it's easier to assume they're some random mix of decent and indecent

 

[Dead girl]

If you rejoin a betrayer, remember: you can now break any promise to her. They're just soundwaves. Ideally be first to break up. She'll betray you in a heartbeat, so your #1 prio is to line up replacements

Really, you could break up 5 mins after rejoining. For no other reason than curiosity

tis the cost of extreme disloyalty


Hmm here's what I'm currently thinking...

Team up with other kind trustworthy people. Be kind by default, but counter shitty people. Otherwise you help them cause suffering

With enough great people in your life, you're no longer desperate for more great people. So even if you meet someone charismatic, it's easier to assume they're some random mix of decent and indecent

didnt ask me to get back together but at some point started telling me about how shes bored and looking for dates idk it feels like shes just trying to be cruel how can someone care so little about someones feelings part of me wants to go off on her and remind her of all the horrible things shes put me through and how shes literally traumatized me by cutting herself infront of me but i hate being mean to people

 

[Meretricious]

@absurdtimeline, I treat people how they treat me. I'm not desperate for great people; desperation never leads to a positive outcome. If quality people happen to stumble through my life, great, but you don't "hunt" lovers, friends, or the like. The best of human relationships come natural and happen organically.

I'd bet there are more assholes in the world than there are kind, compassionate, generous, loving people. It's quite a sad truth that nice guys finish last - we do not reward or encourage such behavior in our competitive societies. Take a look at who runs things, who you can and cannot criticize, and follow the money. Then things start to make sense. Human nature is a funny thing.

 

[jamie_]

Just get a new one chad

im begging you annoying ass incels to stay off threads you have literally no interest in

 

[SexyIncél]

didnt ask me to get back together but at some point started telling me about how shes bored and looking for dates idk it feels like shes just trying to be cruel how can someone care so little about someones feelings part of me wants to go off on her and remind her of all the horrible things shes put me through and how shes literally traumatized me by cutting herself infront of me but i hate being mean to people

I'm sorry to hear that! Are you willing to cut/reduce contact with her? Sounds like she's using you as her punching bag. Audience to her ego. Privately reminding her of her cruelty may amuse her. And she may use that as an excuse to bully you further, acting aggrieved. Of course, I don't know her, so i could be wrong

But maybe telling others of her cruelty may be worthwhile, I don't know

Reminds me to listen to this vid on mortifying narcissists, borderlines and psychopaths

@absurdtimeline, I treat people how they treat me. I'm not desperate for great people; desperation never leads to a positive outcome. If quality people happen to stumble through my life, great, but you don't "hunt" lovers, friends, or the like. The best of human relationships come natural and happen organically.

I'd bet there are more assholes in the world than there are kind, compassionate, generous, loving people. It's quite a sad truth that nice guys finish last - we do not reward or encourage such behavior in our competitive societies. Take a look at who runs things, who you can and cannot criticize, and follow the money. Then things start to make sense. Human nature is a funny thing.

Excellent points! But I'm hoping it's more about society than human nature. Some social spaces reward me for kindness; others punish me

 

[jamie_]

But maybe telling others of her cruelty may be worthwhile, I don't know

depends. i did this back when i was still unsure whether i had actually been gaslit or not (even though it was obvious but shit makes you dumb) – and it got me expelled from uni and fucked my life up pretty bad – now i'm a Hikikomori who hasn't gone outside for 10 months

 

[leavingsoon99]

My ex left me when my business failed and I ran out of money. I feel your pain so much. I thought I would be with this woman forever.