Idk if I'm fitting in but like are any of yall like this? For pretty much my whole life ive "dreamed" of a career in my future specifically law enforcement (im in the states) but with everything happening I just feel worthless and at this point I dont think that id be able to even get a job in LE so is there a point to not just CTB? Ive thought about it alot and if I CTB it wont be soon, I still have some stuff to do but like Im sure any mental screening they do as part of hiring is gonna discover my history of depression and yk. Probably not the best place to ask this but idc anymore. Anyway thanks for reading this.
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mysticatedwine
rotting autistic sun
- Mar 4, 2025
- 204
i don't believe the problem is that you can't get a job in LE. judging from you words, i think the problem is that the only perspective you have in your life is to get a job in LE. career aspirations are a double edged sword: they can give you the safety of planning your life ahead, as well as the desperation to witness things go wrong.
my goal of becoming a psychologist or a researcher have been crushed a few months ago. the future i have ahead of me consists likely in a shitty office job. the things that help me going are the passions and friends and little love i get in my lifeI wish I had looked at law-enforcement when I was young. It's a good career and can have good benefits. I don't know your whole story. Don't assume anything will come up on a mental health screaming. You would get to control your response and you could make yourself sound happier than you are. If you have a dream career, I think you should go for it.I mean yeah but idk I just overthink everything. I just figure if im gonna grow old and have to work then might aswell be something I like. So I guess I chose think mainly about this "future" than thinking about death and CTB? I guess its just me trying to cope.
mysticatedwine
rotting autistic sun
- Mar 4, 2025
- 204
it's a downer to see the way you had paved for yourself get crushed, most people today dont like their jobs and i think a lot of us here are in the same boat as you. do you have other things to look forwards to in your personal life? what were you doing in the times you've felt most happy and at peace in your life?
i'm not saying you should give up on your career, if you can you should still do your best (even tho being a depressed cop clearly isnt an easy future), but if you feel a change in the wind maybe you should go for it. you might not get the best of jobs, but you just might get an okay one with enough support and love in your life for you to feel more than a "career failure"I hadn't really thought about it until now but I cant actually remember the last time I was "happy" or atleast my version of it. Now I just sleep and go to school and now talk on forums. As far as things to look forward to, I guess not having school anymore. That does mean id have to find a job tho.
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