I can see from your picture and the way that you're gently holding your womb that you appear proud of your unborn babies even if you're too depressed to realise that. You even made the effort to dress up for the selfie. Otherwise, why else would you post the picture?
At 7 months your babies are now old enough to experience pain and suffering and SN is a poison. You'll not only be poisoning yourself but also your unborn children. If they were still mere embryos it would be a whole different story.
I can understand why people would want to ctb, but don't take others down with you. I can't condone that. You could wait 2 more months and then put your babies up for adoption and then ctb if that's what you really want. There are plenty of childless couples out there who would love to adopt your children.
And who knows, once you've had your babies it might change your perspective and you might decide to choose life.
I'm sorry that you're in such a terrible place right now, but your post has upset me. Your pregnancy is too late-term to be making such drastic life and death decisions.
There's a good reason that you're in doubt and feel guilt.
The main reason I didn't want to say anything:,) I'm not going to lie, I didn't read it all but I skimmed it because I've been sent multiple hate messages for this before and I have no energy for it. To be fair, I shouldn't have given an update or came back here so it's kind of my fault... However, I am not one for touching my stomach, I haven't dressed up before this picture or since this picture, I haven't been to the doctors for 5 months, I haven't even bought one item for them and I feel absolutely no connection to them. I feel guilty and full of regret for putting my happiness on something that doesn't exist completely yet and telling my couple of friends who are now expecting it. Ultimately if this child were to come out now it wouldn't survive without me or medical intervention. It'd be different if I gave birth with the child being full term and nobody can change my opinion on that. This post is an example of one of my reasons for wanting to CTB, telling others what to with their body or life has always been a main contributor to me wanting to CTB. "Suicide is selfish", "Work until you die for a living", "abortion is selfish" all has a similar energy to me. Also as a child who was adopted, it's not all that. The possibility of my child being adopted vs. suffering in foster care isn't high either, out of all 11 siblings on my birth mother's side, I was the only one adopted with the rest being abused sexually, physically, mentally and emotionally. It's more selfish bringing a child into the world with absolutely nothing and right now my living situation, food intake, money problems is just that, nothing.
