freakshow
Member
- Jun 30, 2024
- 45
if anyone is curious if hanging is a peacuful method i want share my experience when i failed partial hanging
so basically it was an impulsive decision, i was 15, really sad, I said fuck it and did it with my shoelaces (yeah lol) and a pull up bar as anchor point.
I was strangely excited about dying, i really wanted to be reborn in a proper body, so I just embraced death peacefully. But as you can image the shoelaces didnt hold my weight and snapped. I lost consciousness pretty quickly probably less than 10 seconds, when i regained consciousness I was lying on the ground and probably hit my head. Luckily I had no brain damage (i think) so the shoelace must have snapped pretty quickly. I dont remember struggling or suffering in someway, i just went back to cry in my room until my mom came hours later and we cried together and I said i wouldnt do it again and she asked many questions, pretty emotional moment. She still thinks im going to kill myself at any time, so she is watching me 24/7 since this...
I pretty much ruined my life because of this attempt, i was already struggling with social anxiety and depression and I got a pretty ugly shameful scar on my neck so i just dropped out of school and never left the house again for years, the scar is gone now but yeah life didnt got any better so im looking to do it again. Unfortunatelly my parents took everything in my house that I could use to hang myself, like the pull up bar. So idk what do to, im miserable, i tried eveyrthing i could to recover but i cant function in society, i hate myself so much, but my parents force me to live.
i think im going to do it with a bedsheet this time. My previous experience tell me this is a bad ideia but i have no other option and living is pure torture for me rn.
My mother works at home and I also surprinsgly have father and also a brother, i dont talk to them but it means im rarely left alone.
so basically it was an impulsive decision, i was 15, really sad, I said fuck it and did it with my shoelaces (yeah lol) and a pull up bar as anchor point.
I was strangely excited about dying, i really wanted to be reborn in a proper body, so I just embraced death peacefully. But as you can image the shoelaces didnt hold my weight and snapped. I lost consciousness pretty quickly probably less than 10 seconds, when i regained consciousness I was lying on the ground and probably hit my head. Luckily I had no brain damage (i think) so the shoelace must have snapped pretty quickly. I dont remember struggling or suffering in someway, i just went back to cry in my room until my mom came hours later and we cried together and I said i wouldnt do it again and she asked many questions, pretty emotional moment. She still thinks im going to kill myself at any time, so she is watching me 24/7 since this...
I pretty much ruined my life because of this attempt, i was already struggling with social anxiety and depression and I got a pretty ugly shameful scar on my neck so i just dropped out of school and never left the house again for years, the scar is gone now but yeah life didnt got any better so im looking to do it again. Unfortunatelly my parents took everything in my house that I could use to hang myself, like the pull up bar. So idk what do to, im miserable, i tried eveyrthing i could to recover but i cant function in society, i hate myself so much, but my parents force me to live.
i think im going to do it with a bedsheet this time. My previous experience tell me this is a bad ideia but i have no other option and living is pure torture for me rn.
My mother works at home and I also surprinsgly have father and also a brother, i dont talk to them but it means im rarely left alone.
