Story My experience with trying to CTB

[hxppythxught]

Hello everyone, some may know me, some might not.

A few months ago i used to be quite active on this platform but i left suddenly without saying goodbye. I didn't think I'd be coming back but just know my attempt to CTB deeply failed me and I'm now suffering more then ever.

I thought that 8 floors would be enough to end me with how little i am but i was wrong. I should have listened to people on this platform but i was suffering too much to care about the consequences.

People irl are treating me differently and I HATE it, I hate being treated like a baby because of what I did, and I don't like being talked down to.

I'm open for any questions.

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

Shite. Really sorry for you. I hope the pain is not intolerable

 

[miserabletires9]

Are you disabled in anyway?

 

[SilentSadness]

That's terrible for you to be treated that way, the people who infantilise suicidal people just for thinking logically are truly horrific. You must be scarred as well to jump eight floors and not die, that would be my worst nightmare and sadly the risk of failure is the only reason why I'm here. You definitely deserve better and I hope others stop treating you so badly.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, it sounds really horrible failing ctb and that is exactly what I fear, jumping sounds like such a terrifying method to even attempt in the first place. I hate how we exist in a world where those who want to die cannot just pass away in peace, but anyway I hope that you don't suffer too much from the failed attempt.

 

[Dolphin55]

I'm so sorry. What was it like to jump, if you feel comfortable talking about it? Are you left with any permanent damage? Hope you can find a way out that is effective and peaceful, if it's still what you want. It's very unfair that anyone would infantilise you over this

 

[nosoul]

Did they send you to the mental hospital? How injured are you? It would seem 8 floors would be enough sorry to hear of your struggles.

 

[hxppythxught]

I'm so sorry. What was it like to jump, if you feel comfortable talking about it? Are you left with any permanent damage? Hope you can find a way out that is effective and peaceful, if it's still what you want. It's very unfair that anyone would infantilise you over this

I am very thankful that I don't have any permanent damage from this attempt. I was lucky to just get away with broken bones, fractured skull and a concussion.
In the moment it felt very peaceful to jump, it was calming for the few seconds it lasted

Are you disabled in anyway?

I am not, right now though I have difficulty walking due to broken bones.

Did they send you to the mental hospital? How injured are you? It would seem 8 floors would be enough sorry to hear of your struggles.

I was mostly just in the main part of the hospital for recovery, therapists came and talked to me, so did my family doctor and i was given new meds and stuff, the staff treated me like a child which I didn't really appreciate, I didn't feel like a person. Before i was discharged i was put on a 24 hr watch, then i was sent home with someone who could watch and care for me.

 

[annxietty]

Wow I cant help but to think you are so brave... I live on the 8th floor of a building, only I know how many times Ive thought about jumping, but it always scared me so much.... also I would think 8 floors are enough but I guess not... wow...
It sounds very painful what you are going through, hope you find peace

 

[nosoul]

Wow I cant help but to think you are so brave... I live on the 8th floor of a building, only I know how many times Ive thought about jumping, but it always scared me so much.... also I would think 8 floors are enough but I guess not... wow...
It sounds very painful what you are going through, hope you find peace

Yes, amazing 8 floors was not enough, sad because I was eyeing a 5 floor parking garage near me, and I'm thick boned. I'm sorry u went through thus, hope u also find peace
It is interesting you felt peace, some survivors say they instantly regretted it.

I wouldn't even know where to go:(

 

[UtopianElephant]

Hi, I'm so sorry for your ordeal and that you did not succeed with what you wanted to do, but a part of me is kind of in dis belief at what happened with your attempt.

You don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but... what did you land on? And was the building itself avg. in size, or with small windows and space between them.

I'm just glad that you are relatively okay, all things considered.

 

[redisblue]

I'm so sorry, I really hope that you're going to be okay. That sounds like a horrible experience to go through. Like somebody else said, it's really unfair for people to treat you like a child. Glad to see you back, although I hope the pain subsides. Sending lots of hugs and love and a good recovery <3

 

[NinePointEight]

I am very sorry to hear what happened to you. To fail to CTB when that is what you desire sounds horrible.

I am astonished that you survived a fall from eight stories. According stats I have seen, that would be almost guaranteed to be lethal. If you don't mind telling us, what did you land on?

 

[hxppythxught]

Hi, I'm so sorry for your ordeal and that you did not succeed with what you wanted to do, but a part of me is kind of in dis belief at what happened with your attempt.

You don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but... what did you land on? And was the building itself avg. in size, or with small windows and space between them.

I'm just glad that you are relatively okay, all things considered.

I am very sorry to hear what happened to you. To fail to CTB when that is what you desire sounds horrible.

I am astonished that you survived a fall from eight stories. According stats I have seen, that would be almost guaranteed to be lethal. If you don't mind telling us, what did you land on?

It was a mix of soil and concrete, I landed a bit on a concrete walkway, if that makes
sense.

 

[UtopianElephant]

I'm so sorry it didn't go as planned, but thankful that you had relatively minor injuries. If the soil part was large enough, and deep enough, and absorbed most of the fall, it seems that it may have been the reason it didn't work. Even if the soil portion did not significantly affect the outcome, the thing to remember with jumping is to only do so if the landing surface is concrete or rock. Even water from a high distance is not trustworthy..

I hope things go better for you.

 

[swaraj]

I should have listened to people on this platform but i was suffering too much to care about the consequences.

I'm in this boat right now.

Stay strong till you are ready to decide your next step

 

[dctb]

so sorry you have gone through all of this i lived on 8th floor one year, and part of me always regretted that i didn't jump from the window
your story just singlehandedly helped me resolve this regret

happy to hear it at least didn't permanently disable you, it's been over 2 months since the original post, how are you and your bones doing today?

 

[The anhedonic one]

People who hate others for trying to ctb are extremely cruel and completely lacking in empathy.
They are too stupid to understand that a human being must be in a state of extreme suffering to actually need to end their lives.
I hope you are not in too much pain and wish you better luck next time in escaping this dreadful world.