dysphoria
Member
- Aug 4, 2019
- 59
If it was reliable or easy, all the suicidal folks would be doing it and we wouldn't need resources like this forum. Those problems are exactly what makes a drug OD so hard to pull off, and why overdose suicides have such a low fatality rate. Using controlled chemicals means you can't be sure of the purity of what you get or if it's even genuine, and you might not even get it, as the cops very well might interdict it before it reaches you.
That being said, you can find fatal substances that aren't banned or restricted, some are even cheap, fast acting and effective. When I was putting together backup plans for poisons, I came a cross a couple I'd use before risking controlled chemicals.
1) Sodium Azide - the active ingredient in airbags. Uncontrolled, available for about 20 cents a gram, available online (at least in the US), fast acting and highly lethal in humans in quantities of about a tablespoon's worth. (LD50 in rats of 45mg/kg). Highly reactive (explosive) with metals and decomposes into a toxic, explosive gas in contact with water. Accordingly, use in suicides is to orally ingest the powdered form using a plastic spoon or container, rather than a metal spoon or by mixing it into a drink.
It's rarely used in suicides (~50 case reports as of 2015), with one survivor I'm aware of.
hxxps://icfjournal.org/index.php/icfj/article/view/151/html
It reportedly causes unconciousness rapidly in cases of fatal overdoses, but has rather unpleasant symptoms until then. It kills by collapsing the cardio vascular system (vascular dilation leading to low blood pressure and tachicardia) and resulting "respiratory distress". Your blood pressure drops too low, your heart can't keep up, your breathing stops, your cells don't get enough oxygen, and you die. The suspected mechanism of action is the liver metabolizes the drug into nitrogen oxide, which interferes with a large number of cellular processes.
hxxps://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/3527600418.mb2662822e0020
Concerns about secondary toxicity have resulted in the evacuation of a landmark building and a hazmat response in a notable sodium azide suicide in Berkeley. That may be a bug or a feature in your mind, but it's something to be aware of.
hxxps://www.berkeleyside.com/2014/03/20/potentially-hazardous-chemical-suicide-in-berkeley-called-for-collaborative-response-cautious-approach
2) "2M2B"/2-Methyl-2-butanol/tert-Amyl Alcohol
Essentially a highly potent alcohol that's found a market as a legal high, and is available fairly cheaply online, both on legal high sites and from suppliers of laboratory chemicals. It's 10 to 20 times more potent than ethanol (the form of alcohol people drink), and has a reported LD50 in mice of between 1 and 1.7 grams/kg. It's a CNS depressant, like alcohol, and in fatal ODs, kills by depressing the respiratory system until breathing stops.
Not a lot of case studies available on fatal ODs, but there is at least one reported with as little as 29 grams, via enema. Seems more pleasant that sodium azide, as I do enjoy a nice drunk, but it also seems like a less proven and possibly less reliable option. On the other hand, if I show nearly dead from what looks like alcohol poisoning, it wouldn't raise many eyebrows, so that's a plus.
hxxps://www.toxnet.nlm.nih.gov/cgi-bin/sis/search/a?dbs+hsdb:@term+@DOCNO+5005
This may be of some use:
2M2B
2-Methyl-2-butanol (also known as tert-amyl alcohol or 2M2B) is a tertiary alcohol substance that produces depressant, hypnotic, and anxiolytic effects. Historically, it has been used in anesthesia as a component of avertin fluid mixed with tribromoethanol and water.[3] It has a strong solvent...
psychonautwiki.org
2-Methyl-2-Butanol (also tert-amyl alcohol) : Erowid Exp: Main Index
A categorized index of first-person experiences with 2-Methyl-2-Butanol
www.erowid.org
It's illegal in my country under the "ban everything" law, but does sound like a possibly useful drug for your purposes. People mention it has a burning taste, so I would not trust a rectal administration. In combination with taking it by mouth though, to double the chances, that could be the way to do it. There doesn't seem to be much information on respiratory depression, but if it's like the drugs it's being compared to then it's probably similar to alcohol in that regard.
One concern for me would be the short duration - it's cleared from the body much more quickly than N. You'd need to take a large amount, literally as much as you can stomach. Perhaps add rectal administation of diluted 2-M-2-B too. To make it a lot more toxic, you could combine it with a large benzo dose, like 500mg diazepam or something equivalent. As you need to rely on your stomach to absorb all this stuff, and nausea is likely to be a problem with huge doses, I would not combine it with an opioid, or regular alcohol, although both would increase lethality if they didn't cause vomiting.
It's worth noting that, regarding the person who died after an enema of 29g,
"The administration of an enema of approximately 29 g of 2-methyl-2-butanol to an adult male resulted in death after 53 hr, but the case was complicated by concurrent pneumonia in the patient. ".
From reports it sounds like this stuff is not as enjoyable as GHB and more like alcohol. Most of us have probably experienced how fairly small amounts of alcohol can result in unconsciousness. With GHB, that therapeutic index - the distance/ratio between a fun dose and a deadly one, is very low indeed, with small amounts like 1-3mL being enjoyable and 4-5mL being unconsciousness, and the lethal dose is higher, but there isn't much of a gap between them. 2-M-2-B seems to be described like alcohol, with a low therapeutic index. It's not clear whether there is a limit to how far it can decrease breathing though. Benzos can't stop someone breathing alone, are we sure 2-M-2-B can? Combination of these two separately GABA-acting drugs would be most effective to go beyond that ceiling effect.
On caffeine overdose... Very very bad idea, you will die having an extreme panic attack, I'd rate it as much worse than hanging as a method, in terms of suffering.
On nightshade - for the effects of an overdose, just look at atropine overdose. It causes delirium, and a state of panicked, frenzied terror. Your heart would just keep beating harder and harder, you'd die from some sort of heart failure, and this would be after the delirium and hallucinations set in, so not a choice for someone who wants to be at peace while dying.
If/when you have to move to another country, would you have any extended family you could connect with? Couldn't you tell your UK family that it really is this bad for you, and you want to be with them, wheverever that may be? Is your deportation a definite thing? The political situation looks headed towards a general election, so things possibly could change in the opposite direction, nobody really knows. But would this have any influence on your decision?
If you do attempt anything awful like ricin, take a combination of long-acting benzodiazepine (like diazepam or clonazepam) and long-acting opioid (like methadone) to alleviate your suffering during the dying period. The same for any method which is not basically an OD of downers, or inert gas or other comparatively peaceful method. There are a lot of things that are lethal but you would not wish them on your worst enemy. There are plenty of methods which can actually be comforting rather than the worst moment of your entire life. I bet if you asked those prostitutes how to get methadone and tranquilisers, they'd have an answer, but not for a product only used in hospitals and vet clinics like N.
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