My ex ruined my suicide plans.

[brokensea]

It's been hard to write this all down. To even think about it all really.

I had gotten what I needed and had everything planned out for my last day here.

Even though I changed my passwords to all of my things trying to keep my ex out. He saw my email, my order I guess for SN. Maybe my draft of my plan. He saw something.

He messaged me and showed me pics and said he had a gun and said since I was going to commit suicide he was going to shoot himself in the house. He let me know his children were there in the home with him.

I was of course frantic. I told him he can't do that in the house with them, that it will traumatize them forever. It was hours and him at the point he was going to pull the trigger a couple times. It was horrible.

I still haven't processed it. I cant comprehend it. His craziness. The lengths he will go to force me to stay alive.

What else could I do in the situation but tell him I wouldn't kill myself? Convince him of it and he had a hard time believing me and was ready to shoot him self. He did not give a shit.

The anger I feel. The insanity of the situation.

If it was just him I don't know what I would have done but it's that he has two kids in the house I couldn't deal with that happening to them.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. It's sick and cruel what he did. Like some kind of revenge because I was going to die.

I have not talked to him in a month since that happened.

I find myself again wanting to die and not knowing how to when he may do something so disturbing like that to his kids. To live with that or die knowing that I guess. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

 

[silence of death]

i fuly understand why you are lost, this is a crazy position to be in, i also don't realy know what you could do
maybe calling the police on him and showing them that he menace you to commit suicide in front of his kids, that will put an end to this threat..
i don't know either, good luck for resolving this situation

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I can imagine this is a horrible pain for you to be stuck in this situation. I'm sorry I have no clue, how to solve it easily. Life can be so difficult and unfair when someone decides to exit. All the best may your wishes become true asap!

 

[brokensea]

i fuly understand why you are lost, this is a crazy position to be in, i also don't realy know what you could do
maybe calling the police on him and showing them that he menace you to commit suicide in front of his kids, that will put an end to this threat..
i don't know either, good luck for resolving this situation

Yes, because of the situation with his kids I did reach out to the police because he stopped responding for a bit. I never would have otherwise. They gave me another number? Which was weird. By that time he came back and I told him I was going to get him help and he said don't threaten me they wouldn't have the time and I just tried to keep him talking because I was seriously worried he was about to shoot himself at any moment. It took several hours for him to calm down.

I can imagine this is a horrible pain for you to be stuck in this situation. I'm sorry I have no clue, how to solve it easily. Life can be so difficult and unfair when someone decides to exit. All the best may your wishes become true asap!

Thank you. I don't have any answers myself. I want to die but I don't know how to go through with it knowing he might do that to his children. The anger and frustration I feel. He thinks it's the same thing I'm doing so sees none of the evil hypocrisy of his actions and how insane and abusive they are to force me to stay alive.

 

[silence of death]

Yes, because of the situation with his kids I did reach out to the police because he stopped responding for a bit. I never would have otherwise. They gave me another number? Which was weird. By that time he came back and I told him I was going to get him help and he said don't threaten me they wouldn't have the time and I just tried to keep him talking because I was seriously worried he was about to shoot himself at any moment. It took several hours for him to calm down.

i see, well this guy definitely needs help, i don't know where you live but in certain country you can force someone to go into an psychiatric hospital ? if you guys are related
also you don't need to be the therapist friend, he should find a real therapist, maybe you could convince him to go see one himself ?

 

[brokensea]

i see, well this guy definitely needs help, i don't know where you live but in certain country you can force someone to go into an psychiatric hospital ? if you guys are related
also you don't need to be the therapist friend, he should find a real therapist, maybe you could convince him to go see one himself ?

I think he had started seeing a therapist recently when this happened. I just checked on him the next day and we haven't talked since. I just couldn't be around him at all anymore. He has told me before if I kill myself he'll do the same but we had separated and he said he didn't want to talk to me anymore so I decided it was ok to finally move forward and then this event happened so I don't know when or if ever he will stop using his life to threaten me. Or if he would do something insane if he heard I was dead regardless of us talking or not.

 

[silence of death]

I think he had started seeing a therapist recently when this happened. I just checked on him the next day and we haven't talked since. I just couldn't be around him at all anymore. He has told me before if I kill myself he'll do the same but we had separated and he said he didn't want to talk to me anymore so I decided it was ok to finally move forward and then this event happened so I don't know when or if ever he will stop using his life to threaten me. Or if he would do something insane if he heard I was dead regardless of us talking or not.

maybe time will help, the less you talk to him and the less his crazy ideas will manifest.. and at some point he will change his mind, i doubt that if you kill yourself in say 10 years, he will be in the same mindset, of course you don't need to wait that long but that's an example

 

[brokensea]

maybe time will help, the less you talk to him and the less his crazy ideas will manifest.. and at some point he will change his mind, i doubt that if you kill yourself in say 10 years, he will be in the same mindset, of course you don't need to wait that long but that's an example

That is a good point. Maybe after enough time has passed he won't be in this state of mind. I hate to wait that long but perhaps some hope.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like such an awful situation to be trapped in but anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for as none of us should feel like we are forced to suffer. It's so horrible how other people can just make existing much worse and create more suffering.

 

[Kerrtu]

My partner knows I'm planning to CTB. We've been having fights more and more frequently, etc., especially since my physical health started deteriorating in late December, but he isn't the cause of my desire to end my life. He told me somewhat recently he hopes he dies before I do, then he either took something or hurt himself and ended up in the ER. He didn't tell me what happened exactly, and I didn't want to pressure him for answers too soon. I care for him and love him, though I've definitely taken a few steps back with respect to his life and recovery. We text, and I did see him for the first time since the hospitalization a few days ago, but I've made a conscious decision not to get into anything deep regarding my life and plans. Sometimes I don't know what to say, but it's alright. I'm trying to be encouraging towards him and what he likes to do. Keeping things as simple as possible on my end.

Tread carefully, it's a difficult spot to be in for sure. As others have pointed out in this thread, time does help.

I'm sorry for such a tough situation, OP. You must have been scared AF when he told you his children were there. Hoping things ease up soon for you - feeling/being trapped is awful.

 

[socrates]

Well you could try calling CPS, if he's treating his family like that I don't think he deserves kids. Honestly this guy sounds like a monster. And I'm about 90% sure he's bluffing, but I wouldn't want to take that risk, and I can't imagine you would either.

 

[brokensea]

My partner knows I'm planning to CTB. We've been having fights more and more frequently, etc., especially since my physical health started deteriorating in late December, but he isn't the cause of my desire to end my life. He told me somewhat recently he hopes he dies before I do, then he either took something or hurt himself and ended up in the ER. He didn't tell me what happened exactly, and I didn't want to pressure him for answers too soon. I care for him and love him, though I've definitely taken a few steps back with respect to his life and recovery. We text, and I did see him for the first time since the hospitalization a few days ago, but I've made a conscious decision not to get into anything deep regarding my life and plans. Sometimes I don't know what to say, but it's alright. I'm trying to be encouraging towards him and what he likes to do. Keeping things as simple as possible on my end.

Tread carefully, it's a difficult spot to be in for sure. As others have pointed out in this thread, time does help.

I'm sorry for such a tough situation, OP. You must have been scared AF when he told you his children were there. Hoping things ease up soon for you - feeling/being trapped is awful.

It was pretty scary thinking of his kids there and his imminent threats like any second he's gonna shoot himself in the head with them in the house with him.

Well you could try calling CPS, if he's treating his family like that I don't think he deserves kids. Honestly this guy sounds like a monster. And I'm about 90% sure he's bluffing, but I wouldn't want to take that risk, and I can't imagine you would either.

You bring up a really good point and no I don't think he deserves his kids either. He left me to go back to the abusive mother of one of his daughters. Cause it's best for her or something? But you know he could have said im gonna do that too etc but to sit there and even leverage his children over my head that they're going to be traumatized and fucked up possibly forever and lose their dad. It's sick. Before I even became suicidal myself 10 years ago my boyfriend who had borderline kept threatening suicide and all my friends said he won't do it he won't do it. Well he hung himself with me in the house and so there's just no way I can brush that off in the 1 percent chance he might do it. And he knows what I went through before too so he's like hurting me with it as well and that trauma and fear allll to force me to live in a life with no purpose or value for me where I am unhappy beyond words. It's just sick. He said he was gonna show the cops all our convos and about me mentioning my suicide plans during this convo etc since he said that's why he was going to die so he was just threatening me a great deal. Saying he'll show my work etc

 

[SilentSadness]

This must have been terrible to experience, but just know if someone threatens you like this it's their fault if they go through with it. It should not stain your consience.

 

[Kerrtu]

It was pretty scary thinking of his kids there and his imminent threats like any second he's gonna shoot himself in the head with them in the house with him.

For sure. A terrifying scenario when children are involved.

About 2 years ago, my sister was having some marital issues and needed a break, to put it simply. She drove off with two of my nieces and headed for the beach. She didn't tell anyone where she was going and didn't have much supplies or money, she just left with the girls. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, that something bad was going to happen to the girls, but fortunately my sister didn't cut communication with me while she was away. I remember asking her where they were staying and she was legit at a Walmart buying a tent. I cash app'd her money, and just tried to be there for her however I could. I understood why she left, however I was upset she took the girls. I never told her that - I didn't want her to feel terrible on top of terrible.

The first time my sister was pregnant, after my first niece was born, she locked herself in the bathroom and was going to attempt. She later told me the only thing that stopped her was hearing my infant niece cry out.

In retrospect, my sister bringing the girls with her maybe stopped her from ending her life or seriously injuring herself. I don't know…

*If my sister ever decided she didn't want to live any longer, I would accept that - I love her so much. If she decided she didn't want to live any longer and also found it reasonable to end the lives of my nieces or nephew, too, I would continue to love her and I would be beyond devastated.

Apologies for going so long here. Your post really got me thinking, and remembering. I hope you're doing alright, OP. When children are involved, talk about escalation…it's no sleep, nerves fried fear.

 

[brokensea]

This must have been terrible to experience, but just know if someone threatens you like this it's their fault if they go through with it. It should not stain your consience.

If it was just him I could maybe just have had a different reaction at this point. Just with him saying he's gonna do it with his kids there I couldn't stomach it.

 

[SoftWorries]

You haven't spoken in a month so you could put in a call to child protective services so they'll do a surprise visit and take out the children if it's unsafe.

It's very unlikely he's going to run for a gun the moment someone's at the door.

I was controlled and abused for years by someone suicidal always holding threats of violence and death over me. It was all nonsense.

 

[brokensea]

You haven't spoken in a month so you could put in a call to child protective services so they'll do a surprise visit and take out the children if it's unsafe.

It's very unlikely he's going to run for a gun the moment someone's at the door.

I was controlled and abused for years by someone suicidal always holding threats of violence and death over me. It was all nonsense.

It has been so soon he will probably know it's me. I would truly like to call the. The conversation of him wanting to kill himself also is a lot of talk about my plan and what I was going to do which is why he was saying he was going to do this in the first place. He also let me know if I called the police he would show my work my texts about killing myself and my friends and family. It's a tough position to be in as I do think the children should be taken away from him. I want to help them but I know he will seek revenge and ruin my life.

 

[UKscotty]

If call social services to get the kids safe. Then if he does CTB he will doing the world a favour.

 

[SoftWorries]

It has been so soon he will probably know it's me. I would truly like to call the. The conversation of him wanting to kill himself also is a lot of talk about my plan and what I was going to do which is why he was saying he was going to do this in the first place. He also let me know if I called the police he would show my work my texts about killing myself and my friends and family. It's a tough position to be in as I do think the children should be taken away from him. I want to help them but I know he will seek revenge and ruin my life.

That makes sense. There's lots of people that need to be protected in this situation including yourself.