I've had thoughts since high school. Subtle, but there. I'm 22 now and would be 23 at the end of the year. I know it's going to happen soon. I'm a natural born failure. I've spent $30k between two amazing public universities, no degree, could never make it to graduation. I have no friends, and I don't mean that by exaggeration. I have not a single person that I regularly talk to or spend any time with other than my brother. Not by choice, people just have no affinity towards me. The story is the same when it comes to romantic relationships. At this point, I'm 22, no friends, forever single, working a miserable job, no education, living in my mom's house. I've failed and I can't possibly believe it goes anywhere else but further down from here. I just wish I could have been born differently.
parallelluniverse
In Corpus Lamenti -into the body of lamentation...
- Mar 3, 2024
- 61
My dude, I'm sorry to hear... but some things stand out to me...
1) You have a Brosef you hang with
2) You live with your mom, I'm sure she appreciates that.
3) You have a job and support yourself, that's cool.
4) You seem to want to finish school? Or study again? Or find that thing you want to keep doing?
5) You have some university education!
WHat DiD yOu sTudy mY dudE?
2 years mechanical engineering and 2 years political science. Just credits tho never got my associates in either.
parallelluniverse
In Corpus Lamenti -into the body of lamentation...
- Mar 3, 2024
- 61
Even though you didn't finish, do you feel that TWO 2/3 degrees is still a big achievement?
it makes me feel like i can never get anything right
parallelluniverse
In Corpus Lamenti -into the body of lamentation...
- Mar 3, 2024
- 61
do you think you want to go back and finish? is this your way of making yourself go and do it? i think you can do it x
Obviously I'm here to support whatever decision you make but don't let college/ university be a factor in things. I fu**ked up so badly during my my degree. Wrote down the date of an exam wrong resulting in me having to take the year out. Took me an extra year to graduate. Felt like such a di*k.
It doesn't define you though.
Living with your parents/ no big friend network doesn't make u a failure. You just haven't met your people yet. Took me until my 30's.
parallelluniverse
In Corpus Lamenti -into the body of lamentation...
- Mar 3, 2024
- 61
i thought i was too old for it, but there is most likely someone out there...
its definitely tiring... i honestly dont take life too seriously.. i laugh at in the face when i have to...
its definitely tiring... i honestly dont take life too seriously.. i laugh at in the face when i have to...
friends are not always as good as made out to be- someone is extremely lucky to maybe find one or two true friends throughout their whole life that genuinely that love and care for them.
I used to always care what people thought of me, the impression I made, never wanted to embarrass myself, popularity gave me validation, but I remember being told this once by an elderly lady I worked with and it stuck with me as I've learned over the years it's true.
She said "in the nicest way possible-no one gives a sh*t about you, because everyone is too worried thinking about what everyone else is thinking about them."
We should spend more time giving a sh*t about ourselves. (Easier said than done I know or I wouldn't be on this site).
I used to always care what people thought of me, the impression I made, never wanted to embarrass myself, popularity gave me validation, but I remember being told this once by an elderly lady I worked with and it stuck with me as I've learned over the years it's true.
She said "in the nicest way possible-no one gives a sh*t about you, because everyone is too worried thinking about what everyone else is thinking about them."
We should spend more time giving a sh*t about ourselves. (Easier said than done I know or I wouldn't be on this site).
lita-lassi
let me spell it out for you: go to hell
- Sep 25, 2023
- 581
you have accomplished a lot and without trying to sound dismissive of your pain, i think you could easily go back and finish if you worked with someone on how to forgive yourself. making friends cant really be forced but there are things like meetup or bumble and others for those that have similar interests as you. good luck no matter what you try 
nightlygem
La Joya
- Sep 27, 2023
- 185
As someone who's in college, it's been incredibly difficult to find reason to keep pursuing my education. No one should blame you for stopping, as it's an effort that takes loads of dedication. Should you continue school? Absolutely. But, is school made for everyone? No. Not everyone can do school, and that's 100% ok. If you can't pursue school, pursue something.
Find that spark in your life. I know it's hard, and I know you feel like you won't find it, but as someone who's around your age: we have so much more time than we think. We're not kids anymore, but we're also not bound to a rocking chair (no offense to the older folks here).
I'm not going to sit here and tell you how you should live your life, but If you're not entirely dead-set on CTB, I would encourage you to seek stuff. Drive fast. Learn how to backflip. Get really buff for no reason. Whatever it is, try it.
My philosophy is: "you can't die without trying everything first".
Best wishes.
Find that spark in your life. I know it's hard, and I know you feel like you won't find it, but as someone who's around your age: we have so much more time than we think. We're not kids anymore, but we're also not bound to a rocking chair (no offense to the older folks here).
I'm not going to sit here and tell you how you should live your life, but If you're not entirely dead-set on CTB, I would encourage you to seek stuff. Drive fast. Learn how to backflip. Get really buff for no reason. Whatever it is, try it.
My philosophy is: "you can't die without trying everything first".
Best wishes.
)
theboy
Illuminated
- Jul 15, 2022
- 3,020
in spite of everything, I believe that you still have hope to change your life with the help of your brother and mother.
