My dad is constantly unhappy and constantly scowls and I can't take it anymore!!!!!!! It is unbearable!!!!!!! I have told him countless times verbally and through writing to stop, but he won't!!!!!!!!!! Just a few minutes ago, I walked into the house and he started scowling!!!!!!!! I am in the bathroom right now sobbing hysterically, having a panic attack, cutting my wrist, beating myself in the head, and ripping my hair out!!!!!!!! I am punishing myself because I deserve it!!!!!!! It is all my fault that my dad is so unhappy and scowls all the time!!!!!!! I have to hide from my dad to cry or else he will yell at, verbally abuse, and scapegoat me!!!!!!! I am also having heart attack like chest pains, my heart is pounding, I am having blurry vision, I am really dizzy, I am sweating profusely, and I feel like I am going to pass out!!!!!!!!!!! My dad will be up until at least midnight so I will probably have to helplessly and powerlessly put up with this for at least 4 hours!!!!!!!! I can't do it anymore!!!!!! It is hard to separate myself from him, as we live in a one-bedroom apartment and I don't have my own room!!! Also, I can't move out and live on my own because I have a horrible disability!!!!! My parents have guardianship over me and also won't allow me to go with my boyfriend or get into a group home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dad scowls all the time because he knows how much it hurts me and he loves hurting me and making me feel helpless and powerless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I truly think things are going to get so bad to the point where I am either having to live in the bathroom all day to avoid seeing my dad scowl, go back to my mom's house, or run away with a really bad and dangerous older man that I have been in contact with for 7 years who will also abuse me!!!!!!!!! The scowling, along with all the other agony and anguish in my life is so unbearable to the point where I just wanna commit suicide!!!!!!! I would rather be dead than see my dad scowl again!!!!!!!!!
I ENDED UP PUTTING MY HAIR IN THE GARBAGE AND MY DAD SAW IT AND NOW HE IS YELLING AT, VERBALLY ABUSING ME, AND SCAPEGOATING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER LEARNS ANYTHING AND NEVER CHANGES!!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO DIE SOOOOOO BADLY!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!My dad is constantly unhappy and constantly scowls and I can't take it anymore!!!!!!! It is unbearable!!!!!!! I have told him countless times verbally and through writing to stop, but he won't!!!!!!!!!! Just a few minutes ago, I walked into the house and he started scowling!!!!!!!! I am in the bathroom right now sobbing hysterically, having a panic attack, cutting my wrist, beating myself in the head, and ripping my hair out!!!!!!!! I am punishing myself because I deserve it!!!!!!! It is all my fault that my dad is so unhappy and scowls all the time!!!!!!! I have to hide from my dad to cry or else he will yell at, verbally abuse, and scapegoat me!!!!!!! I am also having heart attack like chest pains, my heart is pounding, I am having blurry vision, I am really dizzy, I am sweating profusely, and I feel like I am going to pass out!!!!!!!!!!! My dad will be up until at least midnight so I will probably have to helplessly and powerlessly put up with this for at least 4 hours!!!!!!!! I can't do it anymore!!!!!! It is hard to separate myself from him, as we live in a one-bedroom apartment and I don't have my own room!!! Also, I can't move out and live on my own because I have a horrible disability!!!!! My parents have guardianship over me and also won't allow me to go with my boyfriend or get into a group home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dad scowls all the time because he knows how much it hurts me and he loves hurting me and making me feel helpless and powerless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I truly think things are going to get so bad to the point where I am either having to live in the bathroom all day to avoid seeing my dad scowl, go back to my mom's house, or run away with a really bad and dangerous older man that I have been in contact with for 7 years who will also abuse me!!!!!!!!! The scowling, along with all the other agony and anguish in my life is so unbearable to the point where I just wanna commit suicide!!!!!!! I would rather be dead than see my dad scowl again!!!!!!!!!
Last edited:
