My ctb plan’s now in effect

[YMN]

Just checked into my hotel room. Part of me can't believe I'm actually doing this, but the other part knows this is what I want to do. I'm not as bad mentally as I was in December/January, but I know soon enough I'll go back to being at rock bottom. Besides, I guess it's not bad doing this with a more composed and less impulsive mental state.

Anyways I booked my room for 4 days, but I plan to drink SN on midnight Thursday. Or maybe Wednesday midnight. Depends on how I'm feeling. If you want to know my exact plan, I made a thread asking for second opinions. Though as addendums: I'll only be drinking one glass at first, and using the other 3 as back-ups. I'll consider getting meclizine when I go to the pharmacy. Though I'm not entirely sure about it.

A do not disturb sign was left on the desk, so I'll just leave it on my front door before I ctb. Which will give me 24hrs undisturbed before hotel staff comes knocking on my door Friday affernoon. I still need to buy a few things from the nearby pharmacy. Though I'll go out later or tomorrow. I'm a bit exhausted. I chose this hotel because of its close proximity and cheaper prices, but I underestimated how much my feet and shoulders would kill me for walking with a heavy bag for an hour. Plus I still need to unpack.

 

[AnestheticVoid]

Why are you only drinking 1?

 

[YMN]

Why are you only drinking 1?

I originally planned on drinking 2. But I don't have a prescription AE, so the chances of me vomiting excessively (aka vomiting the SN up before my body can absorb it) are greatly increased. So I'll start with one glass and if I feel okay enough I'll drink a 2nd glass. Likewise if I vomit up the 1st glass too quickly, I'll drink my backups (I have enough SN for 4 glasses). Either way I'll most likely wind up drinking at least 2 glasses.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. I wish you peace whether you go through with it or not.

 

[LostAllHope88]

I'm also choosing the SN route but still waiting for it to arrive by the beginning of March. I did manage to get an AE already online but from some posts I've read on here it's not absolutely necessary to have it if you have backups like you've arranged for.

How are you feeling? I know for me it's a mixture of slight anxiousness about what happens after, but mostly relief that it's finally almost over. Peace be with you friend

 

[YMN]

I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. I wish you peace whether you go through with it or not.

Thanks, that means a lot to me.

I'm also choosing the SN route but still waiting for it to arrive by the beginning of March. I did manage to get an AE already online but from some posts I've read on here it's not absolutely necessary to have it if you have backups like you've arranged for.

How are you feeling? I know for me it's a mixture of slight anxiousness about what happens after, but mostly relief that it's finally almost over. Peace be with you friend

I'm a bit nervous, I feel like I need some fresh air. But it's also like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders.

 

[cyanlove]

I've just checked into my hotel room too! I wish you luck

 

[YMN]

I've just checked into my hotel room too! I wish you luck

Godspeed to you. Whatever decision you make I hope you can be at peace.

 

[cyanlove]

Godspeed to you. Whatever decision you make I hope you can be at peace.

And the same to you

 

[nowayout*]

I've just checked into my hotel room too! I wish you luck

Wish I could get a hotel room to do it. Wish you good travels.

 

[allthebrightplaces]

I'm also choosing the SN route but still waiting for it to arrive by the beginning of March. I did manage to get an AE already online but from some posts I've read on here it's not absolutely necessary to have it if you have backups like you've arranged for.

How are you feeling? I know for me it's a mixture of slight anxiousness about what happens after, but mostly relief that it's finally almost over. Peace be with you friend

what is an ae? sorry for all the questions its my first time on the site

 

[LostAllHope88]

what is an ae? sorry for all the questions its my first time on the site

Antiemetic; it's used to ease nausea and vomiting.

 

[allthebrightplaces]

Antiemetic; it's used to ease nausea and vomiting.

Okay thank you!

 

[Seafoam]

I'm jelly! Hope everything works out for you and I'm sorry it got to this point.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Safe travels.

 

[YMN]

I was thinking about this the whole day and upon second thoughts I'll be going through with drinking SN tonight instead of tomorrow. By midnight I'll be fasting for 14 hours. Which isn't the 24hrs like I planned. But from what I could find the recommended minimum fasting time is 2-8hrs (Stan's guide). I've already had the ibuprofen and I did buy some meclizine, though I don't entirely expect it to do much. I'll take the antacids at 11:30, and you know the rest of the drill.
I don't think I'm acting on impulse. Honestly I'm calm at the moment. As weird as that sounds, albeit a bit nervous about what will happen after I drink SN.

So this might be goodbye from me. I just want to say thanks for all the support and kind words I've received during my time on the forum. I know how the MSM likes to portray it, but truly this was a place where I could find solace and where I could speak the truth on my failing mental health. So thank you. I don't know what the future holds for everyone, but regardless of what you choose I hope you can find your own version of peace and happiness.

 

[LostAllHope88]

I was thinking about this the whole day and upon second thoughts I'll be going through with drinking SN tonight instead of tomorrow. By midnight I'll be fasting for 14 hours. Which isn't the 24hrs like I planned. But from what I could find the recommended minimum fasting time is 2-8hrs (Stan's guide). I've already had the ibuprofen and I did buy some meclizine, though I don't entirely expect it to do much. I'll take the antacids at 11:30, and you know the rest of the drill.
I don't think I'm acting on impulse. Honestly I'm calm at the moment. As weird as that sounds, albeit a bit nervous about what will happen after I drink SN.

So this might be goodbye from me. I just want to say thanks for all the support and kind words I've received during my time on the forum. I know how the MSM likes to portray it, but truly this was a place where I could find solace and where I could speak the truth on my failing mental health. So thank you. I don't know what the future holds for everyone, but regardless of what you choose I hope you can find your own version of peace and happiness.

I understand, if I had mine now I would be starting on the process ASAP. It's maddening having to wait so long. I ordered it January 19th and I know it's legitimate and it just takes a while to ship, but in the meantime all I can do is think about how my time is running out and try to do whatever I can to prepare (both physically and mentally).

I wish you peace and much love, just remember that it's all been done before. And even if you have a change of heart that's okay too!! Here to listen if you feel like talking about anything at all beforehand.

 

[Graytaichi]

I wish u peace and love my friend. Your kind soul touches everyone. Nobody understands me , eveeyome condems suicide when they dont experience it. I dont talk much in life but if u want to relate i be here 24/7 awaiting any updates from u. I will be sad and happy for u as well.

 

[miserableforever]

Wondering if you're still with us.

 

[ready to go....]

I wish you all the best ❤

 

[Athompie]

Maybe I should get a hotel room.

I'm having a hard time not quitting my job while I'm waiting for my method.

 

[Graytaichi]

Wish himher success or should be placed in a psy ward if failed thus cant reply

 

[Whenallissaidanddo]

What is SN?

 

[Graytaichi]

What is SN?

Sodium nitrite. Ebay,amazon has blocked the sales of sn , good luck if u found one

 

[Whenallissaidanddo]

How about using clamps on each side of neck?
Rear Naked Choke metods?

 

[downsolong]

hoping that YMN has found what they had sought.