Method My ctb method: drowning in the Atlantic

[nomoredolor]

I don't know when or even if for sure that I will ctb but I have a plan.

I will drive to the ocean. I live in Maine and the Atlantic Ocean is very cold, even in the summertime.

I'll take approximately 30 mg of lorazepam right before going in. I'll swim as far in as my body will allow. And then I'll let the tide and currents take me. More than likely my limbs will go numb before the lorazepam puts me to sleep. I know drowning will hurt. I am prepared to suffer. But I hope the lorazepam will take the edge off and help with anxiety and SI.

I don't know if I should also bring something to weigh be down? I've heard of people getting washed back on to shore while still alive and I don't want to risk that.

I don't know where I should leave my note and ID. Maybe my car? I feel like if I leave it on the beach it will get covered by sand or stolen. And it's risky to give it to a person to give to the PD.

I have a death planner and have been diligently getting my affairs in order. Writing notes to my loved ones has been really difficult tho and I'm at a standstill on that.

Sending all my love to all of you

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Not pushing back on your plan, just putting out some logic. 30mg is a lot, how would you potentially swim with something to weigh you down? I guess it could turn into a shallow water blackout but I don't know if that's your aim or if it matters.

 

[nomoredolor]

Not pushing back on your plan, just putting out some logic. 30mg is a lot, how would you potentially swim with something to weigh you down? I guess it could turn into a shallow water blackout but I don't know if that's your aim or if it matters.

True thanks for Giving me logic! I agree weighing me down would be a problem for getting very far out.