Venting My ctb date getting closer makes me happy

[kirillbledny]

It's such a strange feeling, on some days I even completely forget why I wanna do it in the first place. I guess this is the happiness and relief that people talk about, the one last happy stretch once you realise there actually is a way out. I'm excited like it's Christmas or something, counting down the days and smiling wide whenever I remember I'll be gone soon. It's just annoying I can't share this with people irl.

Anyone else in the same mood?

 

[Passenger4224]

I wish I could feel this way, I've experienced like, every emotion except happiness :(

I have read though that some people seem happier on their final days leading up to their suicide death

 

[ctb_warrior]

It's such a strange feeling, on some days I even completely forget why I wanna do it in the first place. I guess this is the happiness and relief that people talk about, the one last happy stretch once you realise there actually is a way out. I'm excited like it's Christmas or something, counting down the days and smiling wide whenever I remember I'll be gone soon. It's just annoying I can't share this with people irl.

Anyone else in the same mood?

I'm so happy for you. Yesterday I received my SN, so that gave me happiness and a sense of control over my life that I can go whenever I want. I have always wanted a way to go for the last 23 years and I finally had it in my hands. Though i still need to keep it safe from my parents so it doesn't gets seized.
But for now yes I'm happy too. I'm like, live life as if there's no tomorrow

I wish I could feel this way, I've experienced like, every emotion except happiness :(

I have read though that some people seem happier on their final days leading up to their suicide death

What prevents you from experiencing happiness? Did you experience happiness in your life at some point? If yes, it's easier to tap into your memories to hard lock it in your neurology using the anchor technique

 

[kirillbledny]

But for now yes I'm happy too. I'm like, live life as if there's no tomorrow

That's exactly where I'm at too now, I just do everything I wanna do in the last 30 or so days I have left lol
It's kinda nice to have this sort of relief

 

[ctb_warrior]

That's exactly where I'm at too now, I just do everything I wanna do in the last 30 or so days I have left lol
It's kinda nice to have this sort of relief

Seriously.. !!! It feels very relieving to have this control over our own life and death. I used to feel so good when I had 40 strips of ativan. Though Google was so wrong. OD on benzos will never kill.
SN is trustworthy poison
The only thing is right execution of protocol.
As I have 1kg of it, so even if I throw up unfortunately, I have enough to try again