my cat died today. i want to be with him.

[lawlietsph]

Just the title. I noticed that he looks really sick on saturday, and we rushed to the doctors. Turned out these doctors had no idea what's wrong, they gave us a bunch of medicine and asked for lots and lots of money for it.
I came home and chatgpt found out in 3 minutes what's wrong with my cat. It was something called thromboembolism. There is no available doctor on sunday, so we had to wait for this morning. He was suffering the entire sunday, but we did everything we could to keep him comfortable. I tried to feed him, give him water in a syringe, but deep down I knew what's going to happen.
Today we went to another clinic, where they immediately confirmed that it's thromboembolism. Ha cannot be saved, the doctor said only 1 out of 10 cats can recover from this, but they require life-long treatment and it can happen again any time.
I am devastated. We will miss him a lot, and I am unable to process the whole thing. We were with him until the end, and now we are going to bury him at home.
Now i have to work. How can i concentrate?
I don't want to live. I want to go after him, after my other cats and dogs who passed away throghout the years.
Every single time when this happens, a part of me dies with them. I can't really talk about this with anyone, so I apologize if it's not exactly part of the 'suicide thread'. I would appreciate some kind words guys, or i don't know.
My little friend, I will love you until eternity and I apologize for letting you down and not taking you to better doctors for the first time. I'm sorry that I haven't noticed the warning signs, if there was any. Please know that I will forever remember you, love you, and if there is any afterlife, please wait for me there, I will find you and hug you again.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I'm so sorry for your loss Please take care of yourself during the tough time. You don't need to apologize. This is a right place.

 

[Dot]

= snds as tho th/ stuatn ws agnst u & thre ws nt mch tht u cld hve dne -- in sme stuatns cntrol = jst an illusn

Evn in humns wh/ cn cmmunc8 tht issu cn easly g/ undiagnosd

= goin2 b easy fr u t/ fcus on hw thy passd awy & wht u cld hve dne bt fr th/ rst of thr lfe u gve thm lovng & cre & th/ typ of lfe tht s/ mny cts nevr xpernce - & am gussng thy wre also lovd rght 2wrds th/ end

Imo U r hurtng bcse hw mch u lovd thm & thy benifittd frm tht lve

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Spider Lilies]

I understand how you feel so well. My first baby kitty reached almost 1yr before passing from parvovirus in my arms (another rare recovery illness). We were scheduling to have her put to sleep but she didn't make it.

I've lost my best friend of 20 years only just a few months ago. It hurt so much and it still does. But remembrance is also healing in a way.

Our animal friends mean so much to us and we do our best to care for them. I guarantee your kitty would not want you to apologize to them for "missing any signs". You knew something was wrong and were doing everything you possibly could, unfortunately the odds were against the both of you. But until the end you were right there giving as much comfort as you possibly could and really, thats all they look for. He probably knew it was time and all he wanted was to look to you, a favourite in his life, for comfort until that time. Those pets, attempts at soft, cozy bedding and water to ease as much as possible. Those all matter. You did enough.

 

[ifihadnever]

I just want to say a massive sorry for the loss of your cat. I lost my 'soul pet' nearly a year ago and still miss my little buddy like hell. As an animal lover I really feel your pain. I'm so sorry

 

[U. A.]

so sad and so sorry. i hope you didn't go to work or left early. i am sure you he appreciated all your care

 

[lawlietsph]

thank you guys so much for all the support. i am heartbroken, it's a really weird feeling. i feel completely empty, but still deeply sad and yeah it feels like a part of me died again. i would give anything to make him come back, I miss all of them so much

 

[PI3.14]

Sorry for your loss. I'm a huge cats lover, can't fathom losing my cat, I'm extremely sorry you had to go through this, I wish you a speedy recovery.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I don't want to live. I want to go after him, after my other cats and dogs who passed away throghout the years.
Every single time when this happens, a part of me dies with them. I can't really talk about this with anyone, so I apologize if it's not exactly part of the 'suicide thread'. I would appreciate some kind words guys, or i don't know.
My little friend, I will love you until eternity and I apologize for letting you down and not taking you to better doctors for the first time. I'm sorry that I haven't noticed the warning signs, if there was any. Please know that I will forever remember you, love you, and if there is any afterlife, please wait for me there, I will find you and hug you again.

thank you guys so much for all the support. i am heartbroken, it's a really weird feeling. i feel completely empty, but still deeply sad and yeah it feels like a part of me died again.

this post breaks my heart. i've only had 1 cat, and he's lived with us for 4 years now. everyone in my family loves him and it would be a really big loss if he were to die. maybe a bigger loss than if i ctbed, lol. it's hard for me to imagine him dying one day because he's become such a daily presence in my life. i like seeing him outside, watching him sleep while he sits on my bed, or grabbing him off the ground and hugging him. it's clear that you loved your cat and all the other cats and dogs you owned before. you aren't expected to bounce back immediately. a part of me is glad that i'm unemployed because i would just spend all day crying and missing him. i hope you take care of yourself today. it's beautiful that you were able to care about him so much. he must've loved being your cat.

 

[RunDown]

RIP kitty

 

[gunmetalblue]

I am, so sorry. Unbelievably sorry. I myself am still here to take care of my kitty with cancer, and plan to join her in peace after she passes.
So I can only fathom the pain you are going through....
I want to tell you to mot blame yourself, cats are intelligent, they knew you loved them. And that you tried you best. And all you can do for those that you love, is your best, with the best intentions. And they loved you equally as much back.
They loved you for their entire life, and you'll love them for the rest of yours

 

[Alice563]

I adopted my cat when he was old. I did it on purpose since no one wants this kind of cat. I knew he would die soon, but I also knew that he would have happy life with me and not this shit outside. Your cat had this life. If you would not rake him-he would probably have a shitty life. You saved him. And that us optimistic.