My body makes me want to CTB

[tormentedforever]

Just need to vent, I feel pathetic for feeling somewhat bad for myself. I'm not grotesquely ugly but I've been told how average and mid I am, the thought of not being good enough to be considered attractive is hard for me. I've learned to accept that my shyness, poor social skills, and neglectful upbringing has pushed me to a point where no man will ever want me as his girlfriend, my mental illness has taken over my entire life.

Absolutely hate my parents for making me the way I am, and for everybody who has abused me relentlessly for years. I have no fight in me anymore.

I'm tired of seeking attention and validation from men online, it has been my only form of self expression for years but I can't do it anymore. I'm at the point where I hate looking at my face and body, I want to disappear.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

Who told you you were average? And who are they to judge? I was really shy when I was younger and eventually realised that all these people I thought were so confident and together were actually just as messed up and insecure as I was. When it comes to confidence you have to fake it until you make it. It's so stupid these days how beauty is given a scale, who decides who is a 10 or a 5 etc ? You just have to make the best of what you have. And try to respect yourself, stay away from people who bring you down, and definitely try to stop seeking validation from men online, what the hell do they know? If they were so amazing they would be out there living fabulous lives not chatting up random girls online. You have so much potential, you were brave enough to share your feelings on here, in my eyes that definitely makes you a 10 :)

 

[Mirrory Me]

it's just a negative image, there's nothing wrong with you the way you are. We're all different, equal. There's sure to be someone who would like to date you, but first learn to love yourself. Remember to take care of yourself, don't be in desperate pain.

 

[PrettyKitty]

Just need to vent, I feel pathetic for feeling somewhat bad for myself. I'm not grotesquely ugly but I've been told how average and mid I am, the thought of not being good enough to be considered attractive is hard for me. I've learned to accept that my shyness, poor social skills, and neglectful upbringing has pushed me to a point where no man will ever want me as his girlfriend, my mental illness has taken over my entire life.

Absolutely hate my parents for making me the way I am, and for everybody who has abused me relentlessly for years. I have no fight in me anymore.

I'm tired of seeking attention and validation from men online, it has been my only form of self expression for years but I can't do it anymore. I'm at the point where I hate looking at my face and body, I want to disappear.

It's okay hon I feel the same way that no matter what nobody will want me or find me attractive. I promise that your perfect the way you are, people can be assholes sometimes and alot of the time there calling you names because they are insecure about things too. Keep your head up I'm always here to talk if you need

 

[tormentedforever]

Who told you you were average? And who are they to judge? I was really shy when I was younger and eventually realised that all these people I thought were so confident and together were actually just as messed up and insecure as I was. When it comes to confidence you have to fake it until you make it. It's so stupid these days how beauty is given a scale, who decides who is a 10 or a 5 etc ? You just have to make the best of what you have. And try to respect yourself, stay away from people who bring you down, and definitely try to stop seeking validation from men online, what the hell do they know? If they were so amazing they would be out there living fabulous lives not chatting up random girls online. You have so much potential, you were brave enough to share your feelings on here, in my eyes that definitely makes you a 10 :)

Aw thank you, this made me feel better. It was my long term online friends who told me I was mid-looking. It's stupid but I have no real friends in real life so my online ones really do impact my self image.

I agree, beauty shouldn't have a scale. It's detrimental to people like myself. I should be used for what I'm able to give which is having kids, that's my only real motivation to potentially continue living.. I just want to be happy. Thank you for your reply ♡

 

[salieri]

There are 8 billion people in this world and with that there is someone for everyone. Regardless of how you feel about yourself there are many that will see you in a more positive light. If you give in you'll never know what could have been.

 

[strawberryjampan]

Aw thank you, this made me feel better. It was my long term online friends who told me I was mid-looking. It's stupid but I have no real friends in real life so my online ones really do impact my self image.

I agree, beauty shouldn't have a scale. It's detrimental to people like myself. I should be used for what I'm able to give which is having kids, that's my only real motivation to potentially continue living.. I just want to be happy. Thank you for your reply ♡

And where did you get the idea that looking average means you can't ever find a partner??? It's unfounded as hell.

 

[tormentedforever]

And where did you get the idea that looking average means you can't ever find a partner??? It's unfounded as hell.

Well most average people can find partners. In my case I'm average with lots of mental issues and poor social skills making me less attractive, it's been 4 years since I've talked to a guy and if the internet didn't exist I would remain celibate.

 

[epic]

Are you by any chance caucasian?
This may seem like a crude question but hear me out .
Many cultures in the world consider fair skin more attractive (eg East Asia, South East Asia) including immigrants in the US from these regions .
If you could find men from that dating pool they will find you more attractive than a caucasian born in the USA.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

Aw thank you, this made me feel better. It was my long term online friends who told me I was mid-looking. It's stupid but I have no real friends in real life so my online ones really do impact my self image.

I agree, beauty shouldn't have a scale. It's detrimental to people like myself. I should be used for what I'm able to give which is having kids, that's my only real motivation to potentially continue living.. I just want to be happy. Thank you for your reply ♡

Uuurgh it's always so called friends. The most horrible things I've had said to me have been by so called friends who hide their insults by saying they are only trying to help. People don't realise how much words can impact your life. The good thing about online friends is that they are easy to get rid of, be tough, if they say something to upset you say something lovely back to them, they hate that, it confuses them, then block them! :)

 

[YEAR2050]

people often say that "you just need to be confident" or "there's plenty of fish in the sea" etc., which is so insanely comical. i cant even look at my own face or body anymore without feeling physical disgust. no amount of confidence will fix that, and theres certainly not any "fish in the sea" that would wish to be intimate with someone who looks the way i do. i accepted a long time ago that i wont find anyone, and the only advice i can give you, if you'd want it, is to try and do the same.

 

[tormentedforever]

Are you by any chance caucasian?
This may seem like a crude question but hear me out .
Many cultures in the world consider fair skin more attractive (eg East Asia, South East Asia) including immigrants in the US from these regions .
If you could find men from that dating pool they will find you more attractive than a caucasian born in the USA.

I'm a mix between latina and white. I see what you mean, but I want someone who's Caucasian.. just preference.

people often say that "you just need to be confident" or "there's plenty of fish in the sea" etc., which is so insanely comical. i cant even look at my own face or body anymore without feeling physical disgust. no amount of confidence will fix that, and theres certainly not any "fish in the sea" that would wish to be intimate with someone who looks the way i do. i accepted a long time ago that i wont find anyone, and the only advice i can give you, if you'd want it, is to try and do the same.

I love your profile photo! I agree though, people can tell me how much worth I have but I can't see it. I hate looking at my face, I need money for surgery to fix the flaws I have... I accept it at this point.