People just don't see our side of things. They don't allow themselves to have prospective on the issue because society is so against suicide. People think there's a solution to most problems and that things will look up. It's very black and white indeed. Not everyone's situation gets better and there isn't always a solution.
The world and laws of reality work a certain way. Ever notice how most good things are to good to actually happen and completely unrealistic?
Bad things just seem to be the norm for some people, but again it really depends on the circumstances. Most people in the U.S and U.K will be born of average intelligence in a household that makes about 50k a year. Theres a good chance they will have maybe one or two siblings. And about a 50% chance their parents will divorce and for most of them, that's the worst thing that will ever happen to them.
But for people born with serious issues, abusive parents or low income; a chain reaction of terrible things happen most of their life.
I'm retarded and get bullied and or fired at every job I take. My parents expect me to live on my own soon and Idk what to do, because it can take years to get disability. I also have mood issues and a metabolic condition called pcos. The discomfort can leave me bed ridden and the weight issues are unbearable. Oh BTW there's no fucking cure.
For my mood issues, I've been to countless abusive psych wards and have taken meds with awful side effects. In elementary school I was bullied by the nun and principal for drawing in class. I was told things would get better after my last suicide attempt, but I got abused and fired over and over at different jobs.
The only thing I'm capable of is art/design and there's no way to make a steady income off of that. Art only reminds me of trauma and how what I went through because of it was for nothing.
My circumstances are permanent and things would have gotten better if they were going to. I did think about my friends and the people I care about, and that's why I stayed for this long.
I spared their feelings for a long time. Besides most people outside my immediate friend group don't have time to talk anyways. And a large number of people would rather never talk to people like us again than listen to our "negativity".
So if most people want nothing to do with us anyway, then who's it really hurting to CTB? Thinking about it logically, when I do this, it will benefit me because it's just going to be over. Other people will be sad, but they'll get over it. There's more harm in living than dying.
I'm really sorry to hear all of this. My words aren't empty either. I'm all teared up reading this, and it's gotten me emotional.
You started this entire response by saying "people just don't see our side of things." And you are right- most people don't. But the key word is "most." I see your side of things, and so does most people on this website. So you aren't fully alone (for whatever that's worth to you).
people born with serious issues, abusive parents or low income; a chain reaction of terrible things happen most of their life
Again, you are right. A lot of people are born at a disadvantage in life, and a lot of their problems (which are genuine) will not be noticed or accepted by society. This is why so many people make it their life journey to fight for certain rights, or to teach people about their causes. They do it because they know society will be hurting people in the future if somebody doesn't make a change. In other words, they are sacrificing their life with the mission to bring awareness to help others in the future. The world is far from black and white, but many people oversimplify life (like maybe your aunt it sounds?)
Think about how much better a lot of our lives would be if mental health was properly addressed 50 years ago? Or even 20 years ago. The world doesn't change unless people change it. It's really fucking cliche but the quote "be the change you want to see" is very accurate.
So if most people want nothing to do with us anyway, then who's it really hurting to CTB? Thinking about it logically, when I do this, it will benefit me because it's just going to be over. Other people will be sad, but they'll get over it. There's more harm in living than dying.
I can empathize with these thoughts. I think them often. I would be careful assuming how others will feel about your death. Of course, you may be correct and that they will "get over it." But at the same time, you don't actually know. So tread lightly with your assumptions, the same way you would want someone to tread lightly with their assumptions about you. Most of us on this site know very damn well what it is like to be misunderstood, and it's usually a result of people making assumptions about us. So we should not imitate the exact behavior that put us here in the first place.
Btw, I love your photo. The Shining is one of my fav movies and books <3
