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Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,919
I really thought he liked me and he was never honest from day 1 about his complex relationship status. I fell in love with a 55 year old man in the year 2022 and getting involved with him was one of my biggest regrets in life. For 2 years I was in deep pain because everything he put me through. He has ruined my trust in people completely, made me scared to make friends at work or even ask for help. It was him and another work friend who both played a role in making my life at work hell.

I couldn't even cry because I was paralysed with shock over how someone I respected, thought was a nice guy ended up going my behind my back telling lies about me to other people while being nice to my face and telling me I have nothing to worry about. Worst of all everyone believed him because he was the "nice", calm guy who
everyone at work liked and got on well with whereas I was just seen as this rebellious outspoken young woman who dared to tell an entilted customer the truth about their entilted behaviour which ended up upsetting the customer and a young woman who was not good at her job.

I loved him because was the first guy to give me real attention and make me feel special because all my life I was just that person no one wanted to know while other people got pursed. Only 25 I got pretty and men started to notice more and I felt normal for once no longer the invisible girl. He didn't even look like a werido or fitted the profile of the men on the true crime documentaries I liked to watch. He was handsome with that grey hair and those green eyes. He was funny and charming. Gradually I didn't care he was 55. I hate myself for all the times I felt sorry him. He was spending Christmas all by himself and I got him a Christmas card at work because I felt sorry for him. All i ever showed him was kindness, trusted him whenever I needed help at work and still he humiliates me at work, turns people agaisnt me at work. When I was ready to move on from him he begins to sabotage me at work knowing full well I was already struggling at work with the caseload and fitting in with company culture.

I can never trust again and always feel the compulsive need to question people backgrounds and investigate everything even when there is nothing to investigate. That's how he messed me up.
 
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