That's not why I started to become suicidal. And up until these last 6 or so months it has had no play in my suicidal feelings or attempts. I am not an angry person, at least I wasn't. I've only recently started to become bitter and jaded. After over a decade I have become worn down and angry at the way things have played out. I'm angry that my childhood was stolen from me. I'm angry that my adult life is being stolen from me. I'm angry at myself for how good I have things yet still being unable to get my shit together. I'm angry at the universe for not being able to die. I'm angry at myself for not being able to die. Nowadays yes, I am angry. It isn't my primary emotion by any means, most of my thoughts and feelings are headed with despair, numbness, emptiness, depression. But the more time goes on, the more angry undertones I feel. I don't think anger will even be present when I go through with it in a couple of weeks, I think the anger is far more rooted in life than in death.