Q

qsocdu

Member
Oct 9, 2022
49
I only get angry with things, people or animals making repetitive or loud noises. Violent thoughts start to show up, but I never do nothing about, only get stressed.
 
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winamp

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,357
Recently watched a documentary on suicides from the Golden Gate bridge (called 'Death Leap'- on YouTube).
unrelated kind of but have you watched the documentary The Bridge as well if so I would like to know your thoughts on it
 
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achb

achb

I am Clive
Oct 23, 2023
133
I'm not angry. Just tired
 
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DyingToDie123

DyingToDie123

she/her
Oct 25, 2023
385
Hmm, I don't think I want to die because I'm angry, but I can see how anger would push someone off the metaphorical (or literal) edge.
 
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ihatethisplanet

ihatethisplanet

Member
Jun 21, 2023
72
I have anger, but more exhaustion and sadness. My life collapsed in a heap of fire and ashes this year and continues to do so. Adversity doesn't make me stronger - it just makes me think of more possible ways to ctb.
 
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penguinl0v3s

penguinl0v3s

Wait for Me 💙
Nov 1, 2023
799
My first attempt was full of anger and distress, the second time around I was just accepting. I felt really free and peaceful.
 
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All-Dead-Y

All-Dead-Y

Vancant meat suit for sale!
Apr 4, 2021
51
I'm not a very angry person. More sad and upset. At most I'm mad that can't just kill myself without jumping through hoops and having it be some big deal. I wish I could just tell people "I've decided to die" and have my choice be respected.
 
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B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,042
Depends on the definition of try... But yeah angry/sad to be honest just utterly hopeless
 
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KillerIsMe

KillerIsMe

Member
Aug 26, 2023
73
Deadened anger, listlessly throwing your hands up in the air. Utter disbelief that this is how it is, to the point where it doesn't even connect anymore emotionally. A "thorn in your side" type anger.
 
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DeepCD

DeepCD

Member
Oct 2, 2023
50
from my experience ... sadness leads to anger, and when you're out of anger, you are left hopeless; and that hopelessness eventually leads to Misery. and that misery can lead someone to CTB. That's what the psychiatrist left out!
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,526
unrelated kind of but have you watched the documentary The Bridge as well if so I would like to know your thoughts on it

Yes, I've seen it a few times. The last time quite a while ago though, so my memory is kind of hazy. I remember feeling grateful though that someone had finally adressed the subject.

Gene Sprague was the one that always stuck with me. For quite a few reasons. As far as I remember- he held on for his Mum to die first. I admired that because I want to do the same for my Dad. I think maybe it was his Nan that said she knew of his intentions and all she asked was that he said goodbye beforehand. It impressed me that she was that understanding. Personally- I see it as the greatest form of love- selfless love. She must have seen how much he was struggling and accepted his decision.

Then, it was the pro-lifers reaction to it. He had recently either applied for a job, been accepted for an interview or- the job itself. Don't remember the specifics- just that it was job related. Anyhow- the pro-lifers couldn't seem to compute that he seemed to be making efforts to live but then- killed himself. I think it plays into their very narrow ideas of what a suicidal person is and how they behave. It probably isn't something you just wake up one morning and decide to do! Many people live with ideation for a long period- sometimes years, sometimes decades. Not all of us can just not participate in life. He was probably looking for work because he needed money! Doesn't mean he was ok!

Lastly- it was the conviction with which he did it. If I did jump, I'd want it to look as purposeful as that. It probably wouldn't though. I'd probably be scared shitless, hesitate like mad and then stumble or something stupid. I'm too cowardly for jumping but I guess it's been the method I've thought most about growing up. How about you? What did you think about it?
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,216
I'm fucking enraged.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,337
A psychiatrist in it said 'it's hard to say whether they're more defiant, more angry or not because I think most people who try to commit suicide are angry.'
That's an interesting statement but I don't really agree with it. At least in my case I'm not angry at all that I consider suicide and that I may be forced to do it at some point. For me it is a logic consequence that follows after failing in life and not being able to recover the standards I had before the failure.

I'm neither angry at myself not at someone else nor do I hate myself.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,216
I don't think anger is a significant factor in a lot of suicides. Saying "most people do something" is kind of void of meaning anyways since most is anything between 50% and 100%.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,526
I don't think anger is a significant factor in a lot of suicides. Saying "most people do something" is kind of void of meaning anyways since most is anything between 50% and 100%.

Yeah- I don't think it's great coming from a psychiatrist. It does seem like he's grouping it into all being one thing. That said- it looked like he was in a psyche ward- so- he must have interacted with a lot of suicidal people. Maybe they're more angry about being sectioned and having to talk to him. 😄. If they were physically stopped from CTB, they're probably pretty peeved about that too.

I don't know. I found it a thought provoking statement. I always used to think I was sad rather than angry. I'm not an angry person in real life. I actually hate feeling angry because I don't know quite what to do with it. I'm not a violent person and I don't want to express it verbally either. I don't think it does any good. I usually go and exercise. That said- I carry a huge amount of resentment around- and that is anger really.
 
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Kuren Aiya

Kuren Aiya

I’m not fighting because I think I can win.
Mar 24, 2023
15
I haven't been truly angry in so long. May have been one of the things that kept me feeling alive, or at least reminded me I was. Not anymore though.
 
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Division Day

Division Day

It's life that scares me to death
Oct 28, 2023
155
Maybe they're more angry about being sectioned and having to talk to him. 😄. If they were physically stopped from CTB, they're probably pretty peeved about that too.
I could definitely see that. When I was sectioned but not sectioned (you can ask for them to open the door and let you leave, but if you do you'll be sectioned) I was fucking pissed that I was still alive. Before the attempt I felt sad but at peace, but yeah, having the only thing you want snatched away from you will make you angry.

Personally I'm only angry that they won't just let me die without the risk and suffering of the methods I have access to and angry at myself for not having the strength to overcome my SI and get out.
 
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KillerIsMe

KillerIsMe

Member
Aug 26, 2023
73
Yes, I've seen it a few times. The last time quite a while ago though, so my memory is kind of hazy. I remember feeling grateful though that someone had finally adressed the subject.

Gene Sprague was the one that always stuck with me. For quite a few reasons. As far as I remember- he held on for his Mum to die first. I admired that because I want to do the same for my Dad. I think maybe it was his Nan that said she knew of his intentions and all she asked was that he said goodbye beforehand. It impressed me that she was that understanding. Personally- I see it as the greatest form of love- selfless love. She must have seen how much he was struggling and accepted his decision.

Then, it was the pro-lifers reaction to it. He had recently either applied for a job, been accepted for an interview or- the job itself. Don't remember the specifics- just that it was job related. Anyhow- the pro-lifers couldn't seem to compute that he seemed to be making efforts to live but then- killed himself. I think it plays into their very narrow ideas of what a suicidal person is and how they behave. It probably isn't something you just wake up one morning and decide to do! Many people live with ideation for a long period- sometimes years, sometimes decades. Not all of us can just not participate in life. He was probably looking for work because he needed money! Doesn't mean he was ok!

Lastly- it was the conviction with which he did it. If I did jump, I'd want it to look as purposeful as that. It probably wouldn't though. I'd probably be scared shitless, hesitate like mad and then stumble or something stupid. I'm too cowardly for jumping but I guess it's been the method I've thought most about growing up. How about you? What did you think about it?
That guy struck me as very relatable for some reason.
 
LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,216
Yeah- I don't think it's great coming from a psychiatrist. It does seem like he's grouping it into all being one thing. That said- it looked like he was in a psyche ward- so- he must have interacted with a lot of suicidal people. Maybe they're more angry about being sectioned and having to talk to him. 😄. If they were physically stopped from CTB, they're probably pretty peeved about that too.

I don't know. I found it a thought provoking statement. I always used to think I was sad rather than angry. I'm not an angry person in real life. I actually hate feeling angry because I don't know quite what to do with it. I'm not a violent person and I don't want to express it verbally either. I don't think it does any good. I usually go and exercise. That said- I carry a huge amount of resentment around- and that is anger really.
Psychiatrists barely even interact with any of the patients. And yes a lot of the anger he saw may have stemmed from the effects of coercive psychiatry but that's something they have trouble understanding and understand displays of emotions in these settings as if happening in a vacuum.

Anger may be present most of the time but I don't think it can be assumed it's a driving force in a lot of cases. When it is there is generally going to be a more dominant emotion that is pushing people.
 
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Archness

Archness

Defective Personel
Jan 20, 2023
490
It's more of a disapointment and frustration, seeing reality and making a choice. "Anger" is such an oversimplification, unsurprising a pro-life doc said it's just that.
 
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aura.

aura.

this land is inhospitable
Nov 4, 2023
15
No, I don't know about the mental states of other people. But personally, yes I'm incredibly angry, I despise the universe for what it has allowed and continues to allow.
me too, i just can't handle all of the imperfections of life. the unfairness, it kills me from the inside out.
 
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BlackMoon

BlackMoon

Peace-seeker
Oct 30, 2023
190
Personally, I have anger issues, about managing it and also I get upset sometimes very easily. I work on it since at least 1 year but it's always hard for me. I'm not physically violent on others of course, but sometimes I'm on me. In the past, I could also be verbally extremely mean against others when they did/said things which displeased me or unvoluntary harmed me, and during multiples hours or days. Now my rare acquaintances tell me my anger episodes against them are a lot more calm/less intensive and short than before (1 hour maximum), but it's still there. Even a little annoying thing is enough to trigger me.

Inside me I always feel like a vase filled to the brim with water, and that the slightest drop more is enough to make everything overflow. I guess it's because of my childhood and also because I have to be a liar with people IRL every second of my awful life that I'm so angry.
 
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B

Bodydysmorphia34

Member
Oct 31, 2023
58
I mean, I am angry at society so I guess this would apply to me (misanthrope)
 
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Hellish Ore

Hellish Ore

Mould on bread
Nov 5, 2023
82
When it comes to my own experience, then yes, I agree. I get intense CTB thoughts when I get angry.
 
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LADY007

LADY007

Specialist
Feb 25, 2020
372
Recently watched a documentary on suicides from the Golden Gate bridge (called 'Death Leap'- on YouTube). A psychiatrist in it said 'it's hard to say whether they're more defiant, more angry or not because I think most people who try to commit suicide are angry.'

It got me thinking. I wouldn't consider myself a particularly angry person. I'm fairly placid in behaviour at least. Still, I wonder if the part of me that wants to end it all is angry. Angry just to have this life that I'm expected to keep going at and fulfill all the shitty expectations society places on us. I was curious to see how other people felt? I guess most of us feel depressed on some level but how many of you think the desire to end it all comes from anger?
I think it becomes a combination of 1. frustration/anger, 2. fear and 3. hopelessness. This is the trifecta of depression/anxiety.
 
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K

Kit1

Enlightened
Oct 24, 2023
1,091
I will be very angry if I am locked away whilst trying to ctb - in fact, I made a promise to myself that if I am ever to be sectioned, I will ctb 100% and this will a personal challenge that I have to absolutely do - and yes then obviously be very angry when I go.

Right now I don't feel as angry - more disappointed, depressed, helpless, abused, hopeless when I look at the state of me, the world, everyone suffering, unfairness, accessibility etc.
 
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sensenmann

sensenmann

this will be the end of me
Jun 14, 2023
141
Yes, I have an immense of anger in me that's waiting to get out.
 
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I

iloveloving

Member
Aug 4, 2024
96
I don't have the energy in me anymore to be angry. I'm just really disappointed.
 
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M

Malfunction

Member
Jul 27, 2024
17
Tired, just tired.

Anger isn't really in the equation.
 
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