Venting Morality of Significant Other Threatening to ctb After Me

[ieatcrayons]

My significant other and I have a long distance relationship and they know about my desire to ctb. We are both each other's emotional support so when they told me that if I died there was a good chance that they would try to follow in the same way I believe them. Before any of you tell me that what they said was manipulative, I am certain that they are being honest and only have my best intentions in mind. I've had other people say the same thing to me in the past but it's different this time. When somebody is already suicidal and you are one of the only pillars keeping them up, its hard to believe they won't ctb if you do. It's also hard to blame them when they are willing to apologize for being selfish for wanting you with them. I don't know what to do. I can't keep living anymore but I don't want to die knowing i'm bringing the only person I care for with me. Even though i'm not very pro-life I know that with the right help they can go back to being fully functional. Mental illness hasn't destroyed their entire life like it has mine. On the other hand unless i'm there to be with them in person I know I can't trust that they will find help on their own. I've tried getting them in touch with a therapist or letting their family know about their mental health issues but they won't let me for now. I just want them to have someone to fall on for when I leave but I can't have that either. I am trapped in a spot where I can't live peacefully and I can't die without guilt. The longer I wait the worse I feel and the more I feel myself going insane. I truly have no options.

Is anyone else in a similar situation? How are you dealing with it?

 

[UKscotty]

I have been in too many toxic relationships like this to count.

The way I look at it now with lived experience is we are each our own person. If someone kills themselves, that's on them and them alone.
I can barely be accountable for my own CTB journey, let alone someone else's.

One thing I have come to learn and accept is we control our own thoughts and emotions.

 

[Forveleth]

I am in year 12 of a relationship I wanted to end 10 years ago but couldn't because my partner threatened to ctb if we ever broke up. He held that over my head for the next 10 years while claiming to love me and has slowly sucked every bit of happiness out of my life until I am an empty husk of a person (and is the main reason I am here).

I am going to tell you that it's manipulative because it is. They are threatening harm to themselves in order to change your behavior. That is manipulation. I would advise you distance yourself from this person and remember that their actions are ultimately their own no matter what they tell you. You are not responsible for their choice to end their life. Then, go ctb if you want as that is also your choice and yours alone

 

[locked*n*loaded]

The straight, brutal truth is that, in this world, we have absolutely ZERO control over what someone else may, or may not, do, including how they react to something we do. We can ONLY control our own actions, not anyone elses.

 

[AmericanMary]

Honestly TL;DR but if somebody is threatening to ctb if you do, that is so toxic and absolutely a manipulative tactic. If this was my situation, I wouldn't take is seriously. They would be acting out of anger & impulse. Not suffering.

Honestly I have grown to having a "fuck men" attitude. If someone said this to me I would break up with them and never look back. I am 100% not trying to tell you what to do, or giving advice on what you should do. These are all your choices, obviously.

At the end of the day if you decide to CTB, you literally cannot control anyone else's actions. Also you will never know.

 

[Orange Cat]

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Your relationship sounds very toxic. You can't see it, but he's being very manipulative. Someone who threatens to kill themself if you don't do what they want, especially if they know that you are suicidal yourself, doesn't care about you. If he really cared, he wouldn't put that kind of pressure on you.

You aren't responsible for other people's actions or happiness. People are responsible for their own actions and finding their own happiness. Whatever choices he makes are on him - not on you.

You have already done everything you could for him. You have tried to be supportive. You even tried to get him outside help by suggesting that he talk to a therapist or reach out to his family. You don't have anything to feel guilty about. He is an adult. He is responsible for working on his own problems and fixing his own life. That isn't your job. If he choses to be unreasonable and rejects any type of help that is his problem and not yours.