Mood Stabilizer Withdrawal

[hiddenbpd]

It has been one god damn day since I started reducing my mood stabilizer (with medical advice), and I am already losing my mind. Whether it's placebo or not, I am still suffering, I have a history of being sensitive to med changes.
I was already suicidal and contemplating prior to this decrease, and now it seems like the most logical solution. I need to ctb, there's no question about it. I need to pick a method and gather what I need to make it happen. This is beginning of the end.

 

[Cathy Ames]

It has been one god damn day since I started reducing my mood stabilizer (with medical advice), and I am already losing my mind. Whether it's placebo or not, I am still suffering, I have a history of being sensitive to med changes.
I was already suicidal and contemplating prior to this decrease, and now it seems like the most logical solution. I need to ctb, there's no question about it. I need to pick a method and gather what I need to make it happen. This is beginning of the end.

Ugh. That sounds horrible. I'm so sorry.

Is there any way you could get some additional medical advice? I have heard that some people (possibly a LOT of people) need a much more gradual step down than what is typically offered.

 

[hiddenbpd]

Ugh. That sounds horrible. I'm so sorry.

Is there any way you could get some additional medical advice? I have heard that some people (possibly a LOT of people) need a much more gradual step down than what is typically offered.

I don't see my psychiatrist again for another week. They said I can go back to my regular dose if I can't tolerate it, and if tomorrow is like today, I will absolutely go back up. But I will eventually need to make my way down. My dose isn't much less than usual, so I shouldn't be having these effects. I'm hopeful that maybe they'll give me some benzos to help settle my nervous system as I wean off. I can tolerate a great deal of discomfort, but this is torture at it's finest.

 

[GasMonkey]

I need to ctb, there's no question about it.

I say that too.

 

[TheManIllNeverBe]

It has been one god damn day since I started reducing my mood stabilizer (with medical advice), and I am already losing my mind. Whether it's placebo or not, I am still suffering, I have a history of being sensitive to med changes.
I was already suicidal and contemplating prior to this decrease, and now it seems like the most logical solution. I need to ctb, there's no question about it. I need to pick a method and gather what I need to make it happen. This is beginning of the end.

I'm working on a med taper myself, and I'm also VERY sensitive to meds and small changes in dosage. Working on tapering off of zyprexa/olanzapine. Trying for a 10% cut (I'm filing down tablets with a nail file and weighing them on a scale... huge pain in the ass). Last night was my first night and I only got about 2 hours of sleep. I agree with you... placebo or not... suffering is suffering. Curious what you're trying to taper from, and by how much you're reducing it. Best of luck however you decide to proceed. Psych meds are just evil.

 

[hiddenbpd]

I'm working on a med taper myself, and I'm also VERY sensitive to meds and small changes in dosage. Working on tapering off of zyprexa/olanzapine. Trying for a 10% cut (I'm filing down tablets with a nail file and weighing them on a scale... huge pain in the ass). Last night was my first night and I only got about 2 hours of sleep. I agree with you... placebo or not... suffering is suffering. Curious what you're trying to taper from, and by how much you're reducing it. Best of luck however you decide to proceed. Psych meds are just evil.

Ugh, it's terrible isn't it? I'm glad I'm not alone, I feel like a failure for not being able to tolerate it. I'm trying to wean off of lamotrigine. I cut it down by 1/4- 100mg to 75mg. Last night was my first night also, and today I have had debilitating anxiety (fast heart rate, chest pain, hyperventilation, shakiness, increased suicidal thoughts). I'm giving up for the week. I'm going to see if I can get a benzo prescription from my psychiatrist to help me through. I can't deal with that and still be expected to work.

 

[BurnBurnBurn]

Why are they trying to decrease it if you don't mind me asking? I always assumed that for some, meds would be a lifelong thing. Like me I'm on a cocktail of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds and mood stabilisers and I can't ever see myself off them tbh. Maybe I'm wrong and my doctor will eventually discuss coming off them with me but I have a feeling it wouldn't end well. Already have thoughts of CTB now even whilst on those meds, god help me if I have to come off them

 

[hiddenbpd]

Why are they trying to decrease it if you don't mind me asking? I always assumed that for some, meds would be a lifelong thing. Like me I'm on a cocktail of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds and mood stabilisers and I can't ever see myself off them tbh. Maybe I'm wrong and my doctor will eventually discuss coming off them with me but I have a feeling it wouldn't end well. Already have thoughts of CTB now even whilst on those meds, god help me if I have to come off them

I'm seeing a different psychiatrist than who initially prescribed this med. He suggested trying an antipsychotic instead since I deal with mild but still annoying and slightly increasing hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia, during stress. He doesn't feel like the mood stabilizer is best for me, but I guess we'll see. However, if they don't give me something to ease the anxiety during my withdrawal I'm not going to be coming off. I can't tolerate it. I will likely need medication forever as well, but you never know what the future entails.

 

[lifeORdeath]

Ugh, it's terrible isn't it? I'm glad I'm not alone, I feel like a failure for not being able to tolerate it. I'm trying to wean off of lamotrigine. I cut it down by 1/4- 100mg to 75mg. Last night was my first night also, and today I have had debilitating anxiety (fast heart rate, chest pain, hyperventilation, shakiness, increased suicidal thoughts). I'm giving up for the week. I'm going to see if I can get a benzo prescription from my psychiatrist to help me through. I can't deal with that and still be expected to work.

I was only in quetapine for a week and it had the effect on me. Off label as sleep aid, beside Lexapro. It was a smaller dose. I weened myself off in a quick taper (over a week) because I read the cold turkey could make it worse. I also got off the Lexapro.

Then anxiety still owned me and still felt suicidal. Doc out me on lithium extended release which helped for little while with the suicide thoughts. I stopped for a week, then my anxiety and sucide came back 3 days later. Start lithium back but it has no effect even at higher dose.

Then tried half a. Attempt(trial run) and ended up in ER. Now on a benzo. It helped but weening self off so don't build tolerance..and my anxiety and offing myself thoughts are back.

Benzos work but are sharo double edge sword. Habit forming, addicttive, dependence building, so I am fighting it now at a price of sanity and mood. Hoping I don't kill myself. It sometimes isn't I. My control I feel though like another person is driving.,

 

[hiddenbpd]

I was only in quetapine for a week and it had the effect on me. Off label as sleep aid, beside Lexapro. It was a smaller dose. I weened myself off in a quick taper (over a week) because I read the cold turkey could make it worse. I also got off the Lexapro.

Then anxiety still owned me and still felt suicidal. Doc out me on lithium extended release which helped for little while with the suicide thoughts. I stopped for a week, then my anxiety and sucide came back 3 days later. Start lithium back but it has no effect even at higher dose.

Then tried half a. Attempt(trial run) and ended up in ER. Now on a benzo. It helped but weening self off so don't build tolerance..and my anxiety and offing myself thoughts are back.

Benzos work but are sharo double edge sword. Habit forming, addicttive, dependence building, so I am fighting it now at a price of sanity and mood. Hoping I don't kill myself. It sometimes isn't I. My control I feel though like another person is driving.,

Jeez, I can only imagine the side effects from coming off of things and getting back on things. Have you tried an anxiety med that isn't a benzo beyond Lexapro? I'm not a doctor, but if there was nothing before lithium you've been led astray .
I hope I don't end up killing myself with my withdrawal too. I totally agree that sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm the one controlling my thoughts and actions.

 

[lifeORdeath]

My issues were masked well by life and got by without meds for years. Then onset of deaths and bad choice on my part after deaths, really f my mind up..and I have been blaming myself replaying events back years and years of every sscrew up that led me here and consequences I could face and cause problems for others. And I put myself in a pit of anxiety and fear and panic and depression, cycling and spiraling. Mixed with shame. Almost like ocd of past and can't fix it or wash it off or whatever.

Still on Klonopin. Now. I am working myself off but it is addictive. I am down to quarter of a 0.5mg tablet a day which doesn't sound like much. But I can tell I am off the original crazy dose they had me on. And it is giving me the panic attacks along with the problems it masked..
I can tell you at first. The low dose lithium 300mg ER did help with suicidal thoughts. You may have your doc try you in that to get you off the other stabilizers. It's low enough it shouldn't fool with your lithium levels too much as long as not on another SSRI. I did taste metal some times and get racing chest feeling when first started it. So cut back to every other day. Maybe was placebo effect but it helped til I stopped. Almost too euphoric.

Jeez, I can only imagine the side effects from coming off of things and getting back on things. Have you tried an anxiety med that isn't a benzo beyond Lexapro? I'm not a doctor, but if there was nothing before lithium you've been led astray .
I hope I don't end up killing myself with my withdrawal too. I totally agree that sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm the one controlling my thoughts and actions.

I just hope I don't off myself or come to an event or crossroad In life where I feel no choice because of refusing to go down a path.

I have a full bottle of setraline I have never tried. The first SSRI of Lexapro I hate the insomnia, flatness and echo feeling (out of body) floating and hearing myself talk kind of and crazy thought it gave me. Stopping that and taking the quetapine still made me highjt suciidal until both were out my system.
Like sit on the train tracks and wait for the train suicidal and then tell myself no and argue with myself mentally like the other me calling me out for not doing it. And then self harm from shame.

Yeah I waited too late to ask for help. After I was too far into a pit in my mind. I should have talked to someone after first close death.

 

[hiddenbpd]

My issues were masked well by life and got by without meds for years. Then onset of deaths and bad choice on my part after deaths, really f my mind up..and I have been blaming myself replaying events back years and years of every sscrew up that led me here and consequences I could face and cause problems for others. And I put myself in a pit of anxiety and fear and panic and depression, cycling and spiraling. Mixed with shame. Almost like ocd of past and can't fix it or wash it off or whatever.

Still on Klonopin. Now. I am working myself off but it is addictive. I am down to quarter of a 0.5mg tablet a day which doesn't sound like much. But I can tell I am off the original crazy dose they had me on. And it is giving me the panic attacks along with the problems it masked..
I can tell you at first. The low dose lithium 300mg ER did help with suicidal thoughts. You may have your doc try you in that to get you off the other stabilizers. It's low enough it shouldn't fool with your lithium levels too much as long as not on another SSRI. I did taste metal some times and get racing chest feeling when first started it. So cut back to every other day. Maybe was placebo effect but it helped til I stopped. Almost too euphoric.



I just hope I don't off myself or come to an event or crossroad In life where I feel no choice because of refusing to go down a path.

I have a full bottle of setraline I have never tried. The first SSRI of Lexapro I hate the insomnia, flatness and echo feeling (out of body) floating and hearing myself talk kind of and crazy thought it gave me. Stopping that and taking the quetapine still made me highjt suciidal until both were out my system.
Like sit on the train tracks and wait for the train suicidal and then tell myself no and argue with myself mentally like the other me calling me out for not doing it. And then self harm from shame.

Yeah I waited too late to ask for help. After I was too far into a pit in my mind. I should have talked to someone after first close death.

Ahh okay. I'd suggest trying the sertraline, I've heard good things about it for anxiety (obviously under the direction of your doctor though). I'm really surprised your doctor went to lithium so quickly, that's like a last option here. I'm on Wellbutrin also. The antipsychotic I'm supposed to start has decent reviews when I look it up. It has dopamine and serotonin effects so hopefully it'll help . I get significantly suicidal and restless on with any med changes. It's a curse

 

[lifeORdeath]

Yes that why I'm scared of setralirncuz it could cause suicidal effect. And I don't want the flatness or chance of insomnia.or to have wreck when driving from being doped up drowsy.

The setraline is prescribed very low starter dose. I just haven't taken it. Want to try to kick this be zi first. The psych told me to keep benzo and use as needed for emergency so don't get hooked or bukdk tolerance. And try the setraline if I need help daily but it will take a while.
He told me ultimately I have to fix my mind myself and my reaction to world and things I can't control (past present t and future) I said sounds like great idea but it isn't that easy.

Yeahy regular physician first gave me buprprion and also hydroxyzine. They both made me sleepy groggy and also didn't touch the panic

 

[hiddenbpd]

Yes that why I'm scared of setralirncuz it could cause suicidal effect. And I don't want the flatness or chance of insomnia.or to have wreck when driving from being doped up drowsy.

Even though another ssri caused those effects it doesn't mean a different one will also. It could, but it's not 100%. May be worth a try still.

 

[lifeORdeath]

I may once I get myself down off the benzo horseand or if I get too ready to end it.

 

[hiddenbpd]

I may once I get myself down off the benzo horseand or if I get too ready to end it.

Makes sense. Do what you think will work for you. I'm hoping to get benzos to help me with my mood stabilizer withdrawal.

 

[lifeORdeath]

Yeah just be careful with them. They are addictive, easy to abuse and can loose effectiveness.

There is a whole site called benzo buddies .. about the nightmares of benzo withdrawals and tolerance withdrawal symptoms.
@Sad_Sack can give you the whole run down on long term any mind if psycho med use and effects.

 

[hiddenbpd]

Yeah just be careful with them. They are addictive. There is a whole site called benzo buddies .. about the nightmares of benzo withdrawals and tolerance withdrawal

I will. I'm only intending it to be as needed for serious anxiety during the withdrawal time. I just need something to give my body a rest. The chest pain gets old fast.

 

[lifeORdeath]

I will. I'm only intending it to be as needed for serious anxiety during the withdrawal time. I just need something to give my body a rest. The chest pain gets old fast.

Yes they do. I getting that and hot flash sweats, weird panic shortness of breath, now that I am lower dose if Klonopin and dealing with more anxiety . I'm doing this on my own. Doc said he can get me off of 0.5mg if I stay in it and no more, once a day. But I'd rather have the higher dose when I need it and not be tolerant already.
I'm kind of back to where I was before all the hospitalization where I admitted to ER doc that asked that I I had thought of offing myself before (not actively) and they threw me in the ward for a few days til the real doc said let me go.

 

[TheManIllNeverBe]

Ugh, it's terrible isn't it? I'm glad I'm not alone, I feel like a failure for not being able to tolerate it. I'm trying to wean off of lamotrigine. I cut it down by 1/4- 100mg to 75mg. Last night was my first night also, and today I have had debilitating anxiety (fast heart rate, chest pain, hyperventilation, shakiness, increased suicidal thoughts). I'm giving up for the week. I'm going to see if I can get a benzo prescription from my psychiatrist to help me through. I can't deal with that and still be expected to work.

I've found very few psychiatrists know about how to get people OFF of these meds. 25% reduction is pretty aggressive, especially if you're sensitive. But it's the same sort of reduction all of my doctors have recommended to me. Research I've done online suggests 10% or smaller, though it's a PITA to actually achieve. You either have to file down your pills or pay to have a compounding pharmacy make you up a liquid. I'm trying my hand at filing but don't completely trust my scale, so we'll see how that goes. Giving up for a bit and letting your body stabilize is never a bad thing... I've done that lots of times. It's a journey, not a race. I'd love to be able to work again. Haven't been able to for the past few years I've been so foggy with the cocktail of meds I'm on right now.

 

[hiddenbpd]

I've found very few psychiatrists know about how to get people OFF of these meds. 25% reduction is pretty aggressive, especially if you're sensitive. But it's the same sort of reduction all of my doctors have recommended to me. Research I've done online suggests 10% or smaller, though it's a PITA to actually achieve. You either have to file down your pills or pay to have a compounding pharmacy make you up a liquid. I'm trying my hand at filing but don't completely trust my scale, so we'll see how that goes. Giving up for a bit and letting your body stabilize is never a bad thing... I've done that lots of times. It's a journey, not a race. I'd love to be able to work again. Haven't been able to for the past few years I've been so foggy with the cocktail of meds I'm on right now.

I can agree there. My psychiatrist initially told me to reduce by 50%(!), But I know better than to be that optimistic by now. I'll try to maybe reduce to 87.5mg next week instead since my pills come in 25mg. They're tiny though so should be fun to cut haha. I just want it to be over with already. It sucks to have to do it so slowly. I'm sorry to hear you haven't been working. I just went back in the last 2 months since being off since January

 

[TydalWave]

Fuck. I also had to go threw seroquel withdrawals a few years ago and it was awful. Now I just take meds for anxiety and depression. I've been wanting to taper off my depression meds for a while and try something else but I know my anxiety will go through the roof if I do that and honestly don't think I could function at work if I did that.

It makes me feel stuck with my current medication because making changes is so taxing. Like either that or I'd need to take time off to be a depressed mess lol. Anyways, sorry your going through that. It sucks.

 

[TheManIllNeverBe]

I can agree there. My psychiatrist initially told me to reduce by 50%(!), But I know better than to be that optimistic by now. I'll try to maybe reduce to 87.5mg next week instead since my pills come in 25mg. They're tiny though so should be fun to cut haha. I just want it to be over with already. It sucks to have to do it so slowly. I'm sorry to hear you haven't been working. I just went back in the last 2 months since being off since January

I totally understand wanting to be over and done with tapering. I'm on 4 meds right now, and it's likely going to take a few years to get off of all of them, at least at a rate that I can tolerate. I really want to know what my baseline is unmedicated before moving forward with any more medications. I've been on one med or another since my teen years, and I'm 40 now. I had a well-paying job before all of this went down so I have some savings to get me by for a while but it's not infinite. Plus I miss being around other people on a regular basis.

 

[hiddenbpd]

Fuck. I also had to go threw seroquel withdrawals a few years ago and it was awful. Now I just take meds for anxiety and depression. I've been wanting to taper off my depression meds for a while and try something else but I know my anxiety will go through the roof if I do that and honestly don't think I could function at work if I did that.

It makes me feel stuck with my current medication because making changes is so taxing. Like either that or I'd need to take time off to be a depressed mess lol. Anyways, sorry your going through that. It sucks.

I had taken some time off in January to try a new med. I spent a total of 6 months this year not medicated after many years of being on meds, and it was the worst 6months of my life to date. Changing meds is definitely a challenge, I'm debating if it's worth it honestly. Here's to hoping it goes by fast and that the new med helps me more