Venting Mom/daughter suicide pact

[voivi]

Insane debut post perhaps, but just had some equally insane words come out of my mouth and need to release it into the void somehow

Took some time off work this week and travelled up to stay with my mom for an emergency, so already not a great start, but just got in a huge fight with her (can't tell you what about, but that's normal)

Everyyyy time she gets mad about any topic she goes on this tirade about how she's wanted to kill herself for 50 years and she hasn't done it, and that's how it should be for everyone, etc, mostly so that she can then make fun of me for being a suicidal teenager 15 years ago and not either getting over it already or just committing (I don't have kids to know if this is a weird emotion to feel towards your daughter…)

I said why don't we do it together?

She flipped out and said no, perhaps obviously, but now I'm getting all choked up thinking about how I'd like to just die together with my mom. I feel like it'd be less scary. The idea's dead in the water and I can't quite believe I said it out loud but c'est la vie. I'm the only family she has so I can't exactly cut her off without feeling guilty for the rest of my days, so for a moment I honestly thought I was on to a great bit of problem solving ukno

 

[itsgone2]

Tbh I think that was really brave of you to say.

I'm not saying anything about the idea itself but just incredibly brave.

 

[voivi]

Tbh I think that was really brave of you to say.

I'm not saying anything about the idea itself but just incredibly brave.

God knows how I would have reacted if she said yes but I suppose that's the nature of every question ever

 

[itsgone2]

God knows how I would have reacted if she said yes but I suppose that's the nature of every question ever

So it must be different for the two of you. You're on this site and think that it would be nice. She's maybe not that actually suicidal? I'm guessing she'll have a follow up at some point idk.

 

[voivi]

So it must be different for the two of you. You're on this site and think that it would be nice. She's maybe not that actually suicidal? I'm guessing she'll have a follow up at some point idk.

Must be. I suppose neither of us have ever actually taken action and I'm the only one seriously looking into it now. I try to brush her off because she's had so many problems for so long that perhaps she doesn't mean to be cruel but it's no fun to look at who I'll become in 30 years…

We shall see if she ever brings it up again but knowing her she's forgotten already

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

I've been genuinely suicidal for decades and am generally pro-choice, but if my daughter ever asked to do a suicide pact, I would do whatever I possibly could to make her life bearable again. I couldn't bear to consciously be involved in something that would bring my daughter that level of harm.

Although if my daughter did die before I did, whatever the cause, I'm probably dying the day I'm made aware of that, so it might as well be a pact at that point. I would never TELL her that, though -- that is too much pressure to put on one's child.

 

[voivi]

I've been genuinely suicidal for decades and am generally pro-choice, but if my daughter ever asked to do a suicide pact, I would do whatever I possibly could to make her life bearable again. I couldn't bear to consciously be involved in something that would bring my daughter that level of harm.

Although if my daughter did die before I did, whatever the cause, I'm probably dying the day I'm made aware of that, so it might as well be a pact at that point. I would never TELL her that, though -- that is too much pressure to put on one's child.

Thank you for the perspective, I'm sorry you're struggling but I'm glad you're there for your daughter as much as my mother frustrates me (and I frustrate her) I know there are some things I just won't be able to understand because I don't have children so it is helpful to hear the other side