Missing work?

[Cookiedough8956]

I'm in such a horrible low right now. Feels fucking paralyzing..i just absolutely can't go to work...im dreading it.
I don't even think i could go.
I know for a fact i won'T get anything done.
How do u guys do it? Do u miss out due to depression?
I wanna skip so bad tmrw damn it

 

[WOODESITY]

I've been in situations when I couldn't even go out and called and lied that I was sick or baybysitting because of sleep deprivation

 

[Jean Améry]

I'm in such a horrible low right now. Feels fucking paralyzing..i just absolutely can't go to work...im dreading it.
I don't even think i could go.
I know for a fact i won'T get anything done.
How do u guys do it? Do u miss out due to depression?
I wanna skip so bad tmrw damn it

I know the feeling. I have to leave for work in about 45 minutes and I dread it. Yet I must. I try to remember only about two months and I'm finally rid of this job.

Do go anyway, in spite of your feelings. Once you start skipping work it becomes easy to fall into the trap of doing it again. Think of it as maintaining your cover: looking normal so your chances of being caught while preparing for CTB (if that is your wish) are kept to a minimum.

If you must stay at home I would visit a GP, explain you're depressed and ask for a sick note.

 

[elizabeth.luck]

What's your job?

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I know the feeling. I have to leave for work in about 45 minutes and I dread it. Yet I must. I try to remember only about two months and I'm finally rid of this job.

Do go anyway, in spite of your feelings. Once you start skipping work it becomes easy to fall into the trap of doing it again. Think of it as maintaining your cover: looking normal so your chances of being caught while preparing for CTB (if that is your wish) are kept to a minimum.

If you must stay at home I would visit a GP, explain you're depressed and ask for a sick note.

Thanks thats actually a good idea.
I try not to and the entire last week took every ounce of energy to go. Its like im worn out now. Its feels so impossible.

I wish i could go out period. :( During this time id be lucky to get out of bed at all!..

Im really gonna try to muster up some energy to go..

What's your job?

I work in a small office. Very lame

 

[uiop]

I haven't been making any progress with work for two weeks. Luckily, I work remotely, so they don't know if I'm working or not lol. I have a deadline tomorrow, and i told myself that I'll finish it over the weekend, but I haven't even started yet. My thoughts have become more distracting, and I don't know why. Everything is noisy. It's like there's a circus in my brain. I literally just sit in front of the computer, and stare at the wall.

 

[Donewith_]

I can't force myself out when i suddenly started to have a breakdown, I used to ask for leave giving random reasons.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I haven't been making any progress with work for two weeks. Luckily, I work remotely, so they don't know if I'm working or not lol. I have a deadline tomorrow, and i told myself that I'll finish it over the weekend, but I haven't even started yet. My thoughts have become more is so distracting, and I don't know why. Everything is noisy. It's like there's a circus in my brain. I literally just sit in front of the computer, and stare at the wall.

Yeah
Thats how last week and couple weeks before that has been like.
I couldnt get much done and im kinda backed up. I just dont care anymore.

I can't force myself out when i suddenly started to have a breakdown, I used to ask for leave giving random reasons.

Yea i used to do that id be careful not to ask too much sick leave. Id just go in late (they dont care about that) but now thats not even do-able.

 

[uiop]

Yeah
Thats how last week and couple weeks before that has been like.
I couldnt get much done and im kinda backed up. I just dont care anymore.

I feel the same way. I'm just indifferent. I wish I could find someone who's willing to do the work for me...

I'll keep the paycheck of course.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I feel the same way. I'm just indifferent. I wish I could find someone who's willing to do the work for me...

I'll keep the paycheck of course.

The act of getting ready itself is a chore. Uses every bit of energy
Getting up
Getting dressed
Applying make up
Doing hair
Oh and let's not forget the "bubbly" personality i mask on while panicking due to my anxiety all day

i cant keep up this act and internal anguish anymore. Its too much . i just wanna lay in my bed all day and forget i even exist

 

[uiop]

The act of getting ready itself is a chore. Uses every bit of energy
Getting up
Getting dressed
Applying make up
Doing hair
Oh and let's not forget the "bubbly" personality i mask on while panicking due to my anxiety all day

i cant keep up this act and internal anguish anymore. Its too much . i just wanna lay in my bed all day and forget i even exist

I understand the whole ordeal. I lie in bed and sit in my car for hours just because I don't have the motivation to do anything., We have to remind ourselves constantly to be social and friendly because we don't want to bring anyone down with our depression and anxiety. The people who don't understand what we go through get sick of it pretty quickly. At least you get to leave the house, even though you're obligated to. I'm a complete shut in, the only time I go out is for food and coffee. I don't want to hang out with anybody: it's exhausting, but at the same time, I just want to be normal.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I understand the whole ordeal. I lie in bed and sit in my car for hours just because I don't have the motivation to do anything., We have to remind ourselves constantly to be social and friendly because we don't want to bring anyone down with our depression and anxiety. The people who don't understand what we go through get sick of it pretty quickly. At least you get to leave the house, even though you're obligated to. I'm a complete shut in, the only time I go out is for food and coffee. I don't want to hang out with anybody: it's exhausting, but at the same time, I just want to be normal.

Tbh id swap with u anyday :( working from home would be a dream. Its literally a nightmare Eveytime i step outside. I have never once walked and had some sort of panic or paranoia. I hate it.
Oh def the ppl get sick of it. U can tell too they slowly stop talking to u. Less and less. Eventually it just stops.
Id rather i never hang with anyone, cant eat out, cant drink out.absolutely nothing. I just go to and from work. And that is an obstacle itself.

 

[uiop]

Tbh id swap with u anyday :( working from home would be a dream. Its literally a nightmare Eveytime i step outside. I have never once walked and had some sort of panic or paranoia. I hate it.
Oh def the ppl get sick of it. U can tell too they slowly stop talking to u. Less and less. Eventually it just stops.
Id rather i never hang with anyone, cant eat out, cant drink out.absolutely nothing. I just go to and from work. And that is an obstacle itself.

Yeah, working from home is great, it's just that it just gets lonely, i want to be around people, but I know I'll fuck it up in some way. My best friend and I haven't seen each other in years, and I prefer to keep it that way.

If you want to chat or rant about anything just shoot me a message. I'm always here for you, friend.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

I absolutely hate leaving the "comfort" of my prison..oh..I mean apartment. I have noticed that when things are really bad I also go straight to work & straight home. I mean I usually do, but sometimes I just can't get home fast enough. I absolutely hate waking up & I purchased a novelty alarm clock (which is in my closet) which seemed like a good idea at the time; until it went off. It was a alarm with a robotic bird on a perch. When alarm goes off it starts flapping its wings, flashing lights & of course makes annoying bird squeeks. This proved to be an even more traumatic experience than waking to a regular alarm.
But as soon as I hear my alarm, & wake I immediately go into a panic attack . Unless I call out or am late (can't do either anymore) it's just such a horrible experience until I'm home.
Idk wtf is wrong with me. Right now I'm in a real slump & things are pretty bad. I'm just doing the bare minimum to survive. It feels horrible. I do wonder if I had some company, would I be so hesitant to go out; and I'm not sure. But I don't think it could make things worse, however I don't expect to find company anytime soon.