Missing him again

[terra.nuvo]

I've been thinking about my old friend again and realizing that he really isn't ever gonna come back. Have you ever heard of DABDA, the stages of grief. I feel like I've been stuck in the denial, anger, bargaining, and depression stages but haven't been able to reach acceptance. I don't really know how at this point. I keep telling myself I'm ready to accept that he's gone but I always keep the belief that he'll come back to me someday. But in truth, I know that's never gonna happen. He told my friend that he's scared I'm gonna blow up at him again. And he's right to stay away but knowing that he's right just makes it worse. It just reminds me that I was stupid enough to blow up at him in the first place. I don't even know why I did it and now he's gone. I still love him. And I miss him everyday. He was the light in my life. Now we're nothing to each other. It's like all that time we spent with each other was for nothing. All the love we shared was for nothing. All this has shown me is that love truly has its limits even when someone tells you they'll love you no matter what. I guess I was just stupid to believe that and stupid to test if his love really was unconditional. Anyways, any advice on reaching the acceptance phase and staying there?

 

[JaJu]

I wish I had some advice for you—I'll stick around to see if I can benefit from the advice of others because I've also been trying to reach an old friend, but am not getting any replies. I don't know if he changed his number or if he's just ignoring (I'm hoping he's still around, but even that I'm not completely sure of), but it very well may be my fault for disappearing on him (and everyone else) when I wanted to quit life. I assumed he was doing very well because he just got married and moved to another state to get settled in, but I later learned that they separated and haven't heard any news about him since. Calling sends me directly to voicemail, and texting is like sending a message into the void. I'm starting to think that I'll just have to accept that it may be too late for me to reach out at this point, but I'll wait a few more weeks just to be sure.

 

[Life_and_Death]

recovery isnt straight forward, its normal to go through stages over again, or out of the order its suggested.
personally my advice would vary depending on how youre feeling. sometimes its going to be best to sit with the feeling and experience it, as much as it might hurt, you hurt for a reason. emotions are trying to tell you something. and other days its going to be best to try to move forward. take care of yourself, set personal goals that you can work towards with or without them. and as long as you dont let it get unhealthy, it doesnt hurt to be hopeful that maybe you'll cross paths again in the future. just keep an open mind that maybe someone else will come along. the most important part though is yourself

edit: oh and baby steps. sometimes it doesnt hurt that the most you can be proud of yourself for is using the bathroom. emotions are really stressful and draining

 

[moshimoshi]

I feel this so deeply. I lost my best friend who i love very much. I can relate a lot to being stuck in those stages of grief you mentioned, and holding on to that hope and longing that maybe theyll come back someday even though its highly unlikely. Its a horrible and dreadful experience. Ive also done things that have pushed friends away and things i really regret, I have no idea why I did that stuff. I can also relate to missing them everyday, its like even the most simple and mundane things can remind me of him. Im very sorry you have to deal with these painful feelings as well, it really leaves behind a void that can only be filled by that one person. Im not sure if I have any advice on how to reach the acceptance stage, since i think im still far away from it haha. Something that helps me, is whenever I start thinking of them, trying to immediately curb my focus onto something else like browsing internet, or trying to talk to someone else. When they left they took a part of you with them, the same as you kept a part of them. Also some images tend to help me a ton sometimes when im feeling really depressed about their absence. I dont know if they could help you, but heres some that help me cope/accept/feel less alone in my feelings:

recovery isnt straight forward, its normal to go through stages over again, or out of the order its suggested.
personally my advice would vary depending on how youre feeling. sometimes its going to be best to sit with the feeling and experience it, as much as it might hurt, you hurt for a reason. emotions are trying to tell you something. and other days its going to be best to try to move forward. take care of yourself, set personal goals that you can work towards with or without them. and as long as you dont let it get unhealthy, it doesnt hurt to be hopeful that maybe you'll cross paths again in the future. just keep an open mind that maybe someone else will come along. the most important part though is yourself

edit: oh and baby steps. sometimes it doesnt hurt that the most you can be proud of yourself for is using the bathroom. emotions are really stressful and draining

thats honestly really good advice I noticed you have such an amazing way with words and empathizing with people, its truly incredible :)

 

[Life_and_Death]

thats honestly really good advice I noticed you have such an amazing way with words and empathizing with people, its truly incredible :)

thank you