Misery

[woofwag]

I don't think I could ever tell another suicidal person the things I tell myself. So often people end up changing their minds and then resenting you for agreeing with them. But I stand by it nonetheless. Because why can't I give in to my misery? Everyone insists so much of me. That I can't die, so instead I must work, I must move, I must maintain myself, I must pump pills into my body, I must contribute to society. Why? It feels like I'm a slave to living. I mean, according to others, I don't get to choose whether I participate in this system or not.

I didn't ask to be this way. I know none of us did. But apparently, we're supposed to just deal with it. Accept how miserable we are and move on. Well I don't want to. I don't accept that. It's infuriating that I'm supposed to. Sometimes, I want to die as an act of defiance. Just to prove I don't have to do any of this shit. Fuck the world. I want out.

 

[dewdfish]

I share of the same feelings. And to be honest, I've tried. I just can't keep giving in because other people want me to, they're not in my shoes.

 

[woofwag]

I share of the same feelings. And to be honest, I've tried. I just can't keep giving in because other people want me to, they're not in my shoes.

Exactly. Most people could never understand the misery of being chronically suicidal. A lifetime of this and I'm supposed to just pretend it's all ok and fine… what bullshit.

 

[Deer_Dairy]

Feel exactly the same. I just do not want more of this bullshit. I do not want to live as "normal person!" Is this normal? Really? Ok, so I rather die than be part of this hell.

 

[Busridin'26]

Yeah feeling this a lot lately likeeee if others wouldn't wanna spend 1 min in my life or shoes why am being pressured to live?

I don't want it anymore and I don't wanna feel weak or whatever for not exhausting myself to "live"(suffer)

 

[dewdfish]

Exactly. Most people could never understand the misery of being chronically suicidal. A lifetime of this and I'm supposed to just pretend it's all ok and fine… what bullshit.

And then you're called selfish or horrible for wanting to end things when you feel so hopeless to live in a world where you're just supposed to barely get through the month.